Total Pageviews

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

lessons from nature

I  have quoted animals  many times in my blogs  . And each time  they give me  more understanding  and solutions to problems  than the combined  wisdom of  many adults  .

Long ago when i was in mumbai  i visited a friends house  with  a mastiff ( one of largest dog breeds  easily capable of killing an adult human )  , a rottweiler  ( responsible for maximum human fatalities )  and a  boxer  .They  had it in their apartment  and unfortunately  i told them i liked dogs  .  But  what i hadnt expected was their dogs  which they had  inside their apartment  .  I was sitting in frontroom and they opened the door  where the dogs were kept  .  I was faced with three full grown dogs  and one of them (i think the rottweiler ) came straight to me  .  Paradoxically  i was only little scared  .  But  it came  straight  and sniffed at my neck  .  I froze  .  Then the remarkable thing happened  . It lay down on the  floor in a submissive posture  .  And yes  , i patted its  belly  .

If you know  animal behaviour  you will understand  what happened  .  We both were trusting enough to expose our vulnerabilities  .  I  exposing my neck  to its sniff ( not to be tried  :)  )  was though unintentional  was my way of showing my vulnerabilities to it  .  And  in turn it lay on its back in a non -threatening posture  (  see wolf  behaviour  in animal planet  )  exposing its belly  which was its way of reciprocating its vulnerability   .  Now the lesson  ... As adult humans  in any intimate  relationship  (not only romantic  )  we  are in two minds  to expose  our deepest vulnerabilities  .  Its risky  .  But  knowing the risk fully well isnt it  the best way to get  the trust  which is the basis  of intimate relationships  . Of course  as humans some of us do betray the trust  but still to make deepest bonds  without exposing your vulnerability is difficult  . Whenever  i am self conscious  to  expose  my vulnerabilities  (  im as human as anyone  )  i think about the rottweiler  who taught me the lesson of trust  .

Another incident comes to mind  ..this time with lions  ( no  i didnt have any interaction with lions  )  . It was in the book Born Free (my blog earlier )  in which there is Elsa the wild lioness  raised by  the Adamsons couple . Its a beautiful story which illustrates wild animals are capable of affection . Many lessons are got from their interactions but one chapter specifically caught my attention  .  It was when Elsa gave birth to its cubs  .  Though very affectionate to the persons who nurtured for a few weeks Elsa didnt  allow them to go anywhere near her cubs but gradually  allowed them to see the cubs and even handle her precious cubs  . Sometime back when a close friend moved away due to perceived lack of attention from me  for a short while  i didnt have to consult anyone for an answer .  For the answer came from Elsa .  For her  both her caregivers as well as the cub were precious . But when a new cub is born the cub has priority over all things in life at least for a short period  . This possessiveness dilemma has applications in adult life where mothers get insecure when a new daughter -in law comes home (mother in law syndrome )  , also when a  husband gets insecure when wife transfers attention to the newborn baby for sometime  . So for such dilemmas the answer is simple .. learn from Elsa the lioness and give sometime and understanding ... everyones place is secure.

And no  i didnt have a  baby  :)  i just gave an example   ....

No comments:

Post a Comment