friendship some little thoughts

                                                                    "Friend in need is a friend indeed "  . " If friend is good you dont need a mirror "  . I think there is even  romance wont  surpasses friendship in number of  quotations .

Recently i saw one of my friend in facebook commenting about how he recently decided to spend quality time with his "real friends "  instead of spending time with his aquaintances who use him only during "their " tough times and conveniently forget him during their good times .  I  am so happy that he used the term "aquaintance " for this category which all of us with a good heart are familiar .  Though the term friend is used ubiquitously these days  actually it is one of the most misused words .

We all know we have lot of friends but pause for a moment and think how many of them were there with you when you needed help  ?   Ideally friendship is mutual but  as many of us are familiar often there are many friends who are just on a superficial level and there are a few who make the relationship intense for their needs . For them you are their close friend (who doesnt love to be surrounded by close friends : its so ego boosting )  but  if you reflect on the friendship  they are not your close  friend .  Just like a great overtalkative person after an hours talk assumes he had a great conversation these one way relationships are not the real close friendships .

A week back i had a friend who was publicly telling on facebook how he felt betrayed by his close friend and how he lost trust in friendship . I am not saying that close friends are infallible but 99 percent of the time this friend must have been betrayed by a "one way close" friend  whom he assumed was his bosom buddy .

I am nowhere a great expert on friendship  but i have seen all degrees of friendship and inspite of knowing the above fact clearly have occassionally felt betrayed by "close " friends of the kind described above . But i never felt that i should never have close friends again but decided i will keep my eyes open for signs of "true mutual close " friendship and the "one way close " friendship .  And though a big topic let me stop for now by saying a big thanks to one of my friends in MBBS and a friend whom i know for sometime now who really made me understand the true value of close friendship . And also thanks in a negative way to one close friend   who didnt betray me but showed what is "one way close "friendship  .Let me end with a quote

my small steps into business/entrepreneurship

                                                              Have you done business as a hobby ?
Once upon a time i  too have ventured into "small " business ventures  partly for the pocket money  and partly for the thrill of it  .  Some of them were financial disasters (means "small " losses ) while some were successes ( "small "successes )  .  But all of them , i repeat all of them including the failures were enjoyable learning experiences .

Lets start with the failures  . During my student days ,  having enough  knowledge about trivandrum and a reasonable command of english i thought why cant i be a guide to foreign tourists .   . I took the bus to kovalam and stood there and called aloud "Guide " ... For a one man business/entrepreneurship isnt it the best way of advertisement . I dont know whether i looked like a thief or illiterate all the tourists said a polite and smiling No thank you .

Next week again i went to kovalam . This time with a new business idea . If last time i had zero input costs this time i spent around 50 rs  from my pocket  . Bought 2-3  juicy pineapples and this time my aim was to sell them to the tourists on the beach .  Beach was very familiar to me cos me and my cousins used to regularly come there for swimming  . "Pineapple for sale "  ...Again smiles and polite no thank yous from tourists . Oh God , where is the demand-supply equation failing  . That half day i learnt a lesson that there is more to sales than "demand --hungry tourists " and "supply --the pineapple man ,myself "  .  Though disappointed and towards the end saw some glaring from the local pineapple vendors i finished one pineapple from the beach and one from home .

Since i loved books from time immemorial my next venture was in parttime book business .Though i didnt amass a fortune this was profitable both on a financial as well as an intellectual point of view .  I used to collect books from people i know , give them 3 times the rate what they get if they sell it and then sell it to book sellers of secondhand books at palayam . I used to take the bus and hence my transport costs were minimal . In the end the demand was so much that at one time vendors used to argue to get the  professional college books i supplied . And to top it all there was immense intellectual satisfaction as i used to read and sometimes even keep some of the books i got . (there were even rare books )  .

While i was working as a radiologist too this hobby of entrepreneurship continued .  I was earning then a handsome salary but during sparetime i used to teach computers and earn money from it also . It was a decent sum but nowhere near my radiology practice but here i was 100 percent boss and teaching was one that i 100 percent enjoyed always . Because it was a hobby i made sure that it never interfered with my other pastimes including eating around at keralas food capital Calicut in North Kerala .

I also was part of a small partnership in a radiology centre long back and that too from the outset was a hobby for me . Why because for one i worked there only for two days when our radiologist was on leave . I joined the partnership mainly because my mentor wanted me too to join and compared to the multicrore radiology partnerships of today  it was a very "small " venture for me . Because our total investment was miniscule as we just had an ultrasound machine and 6 partners and place provided by one of the partner . I still remember the good old days when my employee " the radiologist " who was double my age used to discuss  the days activities  with the "employer : me "  a fresh postgraduate . Though i havent done an MBA so far that venture also was very much a learning experience as well as enjoyable especially the staff who were my good friends .

So if you are keen this entrepreneurship can also be a hobby but make sure that you invest according to your risk appetite . For when the investment goes up the "hobby " part comes down unless you are the son of Warren Buffet  ..

The new religion --please follow it

Hey dont worry I am not Akbar the king who made a new religion Din ilahi . And though i agree with the spirits of the great religions these days you know how much problem we have with the misinterpretation of religion by vested interests including political parties .

Then what new religion i am talking about  ?  Its one that gives one so much joy in life whether you are in a good mood , equally lifting your spirits in a bad mood and even sharing your sorrows if you want to be in a bad mood . You get elevated to another world , definitely not this earth when you are in it . And no one has died for the sake of it  at all ... It is played when you are celebrating your first birthday , it is played on your marriage day  and even on your funeral . Yes that is  .... Music  .

I dont know whether music can be enjoyed by animals but right from foetal life most of humans have a positive affinity towards music . Inspite of their dividing nature of race, religion ,caste and nationality like food , music transcends continents and bridges the divide between humans .  Even people who may discriminate seeing a jamaican man will unanimously hear Bob Marleys song
Oh, while I'm gone, 
Everything's gonna be all right! (  No woman .. no cry  .. Bob Marley  )  .  

Coming to my homestate kerala the most melodious songs which stir heavenly feelings even in an atheist is by  Yesudas .  His renditions about Ayyappa the hindu God is so melodious that you forget that the singer is a devoted Christian . 

There is a budding branch of science nowadays called music therapy  which is said to be helpful in some ailments  . And no one questions the use of music as an aid when you are exercising in the gym where it makes you continue the exercise without boredom .  

Lastly  sundays in my home is filled with Christian music . Not that we became Christians overnight nor is it because we like Christian devotional songs over the film songs . Its because in our neighbourhood there is a hall which is used regularly by Christian religious groups . Though we are against making all people cumpulsorily hear the loud religious talks which are loudly broadcast for all to hear including the entire neighbourhood when it comes to music things are different . 

Just like a pleasant breeze from which you cant but enjoy inspite of it being forced on the entire neighbourhood and the lyrics praising a particular communitys God the music i mean the heavenly tune transcends all religions and soaks the neighbourhood in a trance . 

Dont you agree that music is the new religion ?   Anyone disagree : Hear your favourite music and come back with arguments or hear one of my favourite songs Hasta Manana by ABBA  ....

lessons from haircuts --- value for money

Is happiness proportional to the  money you spend ?  Is the man in the bmw happier than one in a nano  (assuming he derives all his happiness from his car  )  .  No  no  i am  not  going to talk about this debate as i love both these cars bmw for being the ultimate drivers car and nano for the ultimate value for money engineering marvel  .

Coming to haircuts .  Recently  me and my cousin were in chennai and as i have this habit of searching for a haircutting place at the last minute and since i was not very happy with the hygeine standards of local chennai haircutters i landed at a clean place one of the branded international hairstylists.  I knew that i was going there not for their brand but to make sure that i had a clean hygeinic haircut . And the cost of 500 rs for  a haircut i knew very well is not value for money  .  But for me there is no problem in an occasional indulgence so there i was ....

The place was very clean , fairly stylish and the question came : you want a junior( 500 rs ) or senior stylist (800 rs )  . I knew that cleanliness will be same for both and being a high end place and this much charge junior will have "reasonable " expertise at least 10 times more than the person who usually cuts my hair at trivandrum .  Haircut started but soon i felt there were some extra clangs to the music which was played . I ignored the first few clangs and turned around and saw to my shock to see that each clang was the scissors falling from his hand while he was doing some acrobatics with it  . I casually asked him about his training as this was international brand . He was telling about international (australia training and singapore internship )  trainings and i learnt that even hair cutting has international trainings .  It was not  the clangs i was worried about now but soon i saw hair getting grossly unevenly cut that even an idiot like me (in haircutting im an idiot  : its not my job )  could realise that the hair cutting is going totally hayware . I politely told him " Please cut more on the sides , now there ... etc "  .  By the time my haircutting was over i was relieved of both the procedure as well as my money  .

I have had haircuts for as little as 15 rs  (yes in this day and age :  at delhi )  to 1500 rs (in a gulf country ) . Looking back retrospectively i cant but smile that the 1500 rs haircut person the main difference was he was asking me around 20 questions at each stage of the haircut many of them irrelevant like the angle of the sideburns .  And paradoxically though the 15 rs haircut was not the best haircut i had , it was reasonably hygeinic and the endresult was not bad .  And for my current 500 rs haircut at the international brand at chennai  ...please dont look at my hair till next haircut ... i look like a porcupine :)  a porcupine with 500 rs less on my pocket  

freedom of speech and expression facebook

Can you guess what i did when i landed in hongkong airport a yaer back  ?  Ran to eat the fantastic food available there ??  Went to washroom ?? Ran to the great shopping arcade ??  No .......You will never guess cos  ..... I went to access facebook  . 

You must be thinking i am a facebook addict ( in a way i am )  but above all the reason was i just came from china after a 2 week stay  .  And facebook is banned in china . And for me and a host of other new generation people ( :)  ya  , i am new generation in my thoughts  )  facebook is a very important part of life because it gives one more avenue of freedom of expression . 

Last week there was a news:
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/netizens-flay-mumbai-girls-arrest-over-facebook-post/306360-3.html

Not a rare occurence these days but i feel it is the flame before a dying fire . Let me explain

India  is  the largest democracy and also a country which has produced fighters like bhagat singh , great social reformers like raja ram mohan roy who has stood against the ultimate might be it the british empire or the prevailing bad social customs .  Even in those days indians were known to stand up for their rights and india is a country which fought for its freedom and got it after a long struggle .  So when that freedom of expression is threatened by whichever fundamentalist force indians especially the opinionated ones strongly oppose it  .  As if this is not enough , the younger generation is so vocal and transparent in their dealings that they wouldnt tolerate curb on their freedom of expression . 

Already press association of india is planning legal action against whomever caused the arrest of thes girls on such a frivolous charge .Freedom of speech and expression is guaranteed in the constitution .  Thus this flame of arresting people who speak out will not be sustained long .  As seeing todays youth and their zest for life and call for transparency and free speech i think days are not far when the hypocrites will be brought under the law . Till then the innocent gets arrested but they have the full support from  the masses . 

diamond necklace movie review

A confession :  if you are thinking why i am blogging on diamond necklace five months after the film is released dont be surprised ... thats me  ... i take my sweet time to see movies long after they are released .
And like food  i feel you shouldnt rush to see movies ---enjoy it at leisure  ....

I heard mixed reviews from different people about diamond necklace the malayalam movie .  Its a movie i feel is very relevant in todays soceity  which shows what blindly  going after money and living a extravagant lifestyle causes how much unnecessary hardship  .

The films protagonist is a young doctor  played by Fahad Fazil who is a lovable character who has all the positive things of the new generation . He has the zest for life  , is a nice person but also a sensitive character inspite of his "playboy " nature .  But his main problem is  if he earns  20000 dirhams he makes sure he spends 50000 at the minimum .  First part is mainly about  how  he shows off his character to the audience . You cannot help but like the nice , yet  panchaara (flirty  ) young doctor . And his heroines three of them  Samvritha sunil , anusree nair . gowthami nair really play their part well  who  each of them have a unique personality in the movie  .  After the interval  our main character  comes  "  the diamond necklace  "  .  The train of events surrounding it make up the remaining half and overall i find the movie entertaining . Dont expect this movie to give a great message like the 1980s-90s movies like sandesham etc  but  the subtle messages are clear  .

It clearly shows how much damage poor financial management can do to anyone you and me included .  All the youngsters should take this message from this movie  . And the older generation should do well if you see the pomp and show around Fahads marriage proposal   and the subsequent happenings  ( dont tell me it hasnt happened in many real cases  )  .

For me i was also happy to see my childhood sweetheart  (dont mistake me :)  )  actress Rohini in a nice role as a doctor  .And of course our beloved Sreenivasan in a supporting role .  And the unique love of malayalees when they cross kerala border (shown by what they do to help fahad in the movie  )  all make this movie " a  must watch"  category   for me  but for others it could range from "watchable " to "must watch  "  .

After all  again back to food  ... i love sushi  very much  but that doesnt mean all should love it  .  Now  you know  why people  are not employing me as a movie critic  :)  

24x7 marriage book review by vijay nagaswami

I was not about to buy this book from an airport bookstore as i was not married and generally  people buy a guide after doing it  ..  But the reverse cover  had  these statements  :

Whos the right one  ? Interesting  even for a bachelor  :)
Which is better a love marriage or arranged  ?   Hmmm ... more interesting  ..
"Get married " is never the right answer to "what next  "    Hmmm..... maybe i can answer some dumb questions and advice thrown at me  more effectively  ...

And after seeing that this book is written by a famous newspaper columnist and in addition a couples therapist who has seen the effect of random hookups   (  though marriage is a great institution many of them are nothing more than civilised random hookups based on money etc   )  i bought the book and read it  .

Yes , many of the material in it is highly relevant in the new indian marriage which he has defined which is very different from the "marriage " of the older generation.   This  book  shows marriage for what it is in a really mature way -- the I space , We space etc etc  which serves as a great roadmap for newly wed couples and even for  the potential newlyweds (singles )  .  With numerous examples he has shown which are the areas in which a little conscious attention like career-family balance .  dealing with family members etc will go a long way towards a happy married life rather than the "show off " happy married life which i am sure at least some people have  .

Just like swimming or driving marriage is not rocket science but  a few key principles go a long way  towards success .The  part in which some of the "happy " marriages are where one partner silently suffers while the dominant one thinks he/she is having a great marriage  is given ; also where some marriages where both the partners continue to be the great single people coming together in the same house like room-mates  for a short while .  Since this is not my subject  i am not elaborating  but  the take home messages are two  :
1.  i am not in book advertisement but  this is a worth read  :  24 x7 marriage vijay nagaswami author  westland publications
2. dont argue with me on marriage  :  i  learnt that my observations and thoughts about marriage are very correct  and many of the random questions asked to me are plain dumb ..

And .... there are indeed great and happy marriages (wheres my soulmate?  :)  )  and there are at least some advisers who need this book to repair their  marriage  ...(if they want  )  

can we believe in god and yet be non religious-- ireland mothers death

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/11/16/halappanavar-case-could-force-reform-of-irelands-anti-abortion-laws/

Todays newspaper had this article on the death of a young woman in ireland . But the sad part was it was preventable . She died because in ireland women have a tough time to have an abortion due to strict anti-abortion laws guided by religion in that country . And the fact that her death resulted in both the babys and mothers death also tells about the way when things made for human benefit  like religion cause unnecessary suffering  due to people blindly following it  .

                                             .  I have found out that the most intelligent people shut down their logic totally when religion is involved .  God has given a mind to think is totally forgotten when people follow many religions blindly which were relevant in the period they were made

A few examples :
.  I have heard many times that people who eat pigs will go to hell; but after visiting china and meeting the wonderful people there i felt will they all go to hell  ??  (they cook their meat in pigs fat oil  )  .

    I have heard people say that only those who are cremated will go to heaven ; then what about people who die in earthquakes and get buried alive  ?

And the most fundamental thing i have no answer to from organised religion is if all people are Gods children then why religions say that their religion is the only way to God ?

When need comes these same hypocritic  people accept blood from other religions when they need blood  .Is there separate groups for religion A , B or C ? While in cases like marriage or even for some people talking they look at anothers religion .

Dont get me wrong.   I am still awed by the nature and the human body with all its complexities and a force which i dont understand , but that doesnt mean i follow these ritualistic religions blindly .  Recently religions or at least people following them are spreading  more hatred than love among human beings  . Belief in God or a superior being is not the same as believing in centuries old religions blindly  . .The young woman in question who died repeated that she was not from the religion which has strict anti-abortion laws but that fell on deaf ears . The question is should we enforce ones religious principles on others  ?  Or is it time we should start believing in religion of human love ?

pattern recognition --- human character

I am a radiologist . Thinking back on the 10 years + in radiology i feel the most important skillset for a good radiologist is pattern recognition ability especially visual pattern recognition ability . Now if you think i am going to tell you about radiology as a career choice i promise i will be back  . For now  its about human character .

Recently i was reading through a series of  professional resumes and recommendations  in a professional internet forum .  It was curious when i found that for one person instead of the usual "professional " terminologies i found all the recommendations  for that person was stressing that the candidate was " a very kind person "  .  I was wondering initially how that trait will help in a job dealing with repairing machines . But  then thinking further about other careers like caring for the sick or even teaching pre-school kids  and i think all of you will agree that  this character i.e. very kind is a very desirable trait  .

So the point is the very trait which is a handicap in some fields like aggressive sales can be godsend in some fields like caring for the sick .

Recently i was in a chat conversation with a friend of mine in another part of the globe . I had met that person as a kid many years ago and now after so many years we had 3 chat conversations . Like an astrologer(do i look like one :)  )    i predicted that that person will travel places and be successful .  Since i am not an astrologer and being in radiology i had to back up my prediction with that persons personality traits  .  And both of us were happy that my assessment of personality traits was almost on the dot  .

Be it career choice, choosing close friends , even choosing spouse we all consciously or unconsciously look for key traits which are important to us . Like the "very kind person " example since careers as well as people are so different  we should all look into ourselves and try to identify what traits are most important to us and what all traits we have and others have  .  I am yet to see a " very kind ,very honest ,very understanding,very affectionate , very aggressive , very punctual "  person bundled into one and probably never will . But its very important you identify the traits you value relatively more and use that guideline in choosing everything be it career , be it a friend and even ones spouse .

This choice is important even while choosing inanimate objects like a laptop . I had 3 laptops in my last 10 years and the one i liked best was an IBM thinkpad .  I never got a compliment for that one but the key trait i chose it was for "toughness "  and i was happy with it throughout . It even lasted two falls from heights of 3 feet . I often think back if i had chosen the cutie "sony viao " which is great for many people but not for me . But does it mean everyone should buy a thinkpad ?  No way . The point is identify what you want and go for it  .

All people are not cut out for radiology . Similarly all careers dont need very kind persons .  The key is finding the best fit  . And lastly though you need visual pattern recognition ability to be a radiologist some "honest "observation within yourself as well as outside will make you an expert in human character . Dont agree or disagree ---comment please  

lessons from a child

I love “some” hospital canteens . Being a foodie you may think what am I talking about ? . If hospital canteen of Ramkrishna hospital Coimbatore is outsourced to the best south Indian hotel in india Annapoorna(tripadvisor coimbatore for details )  how can you blame me for the above comment .

So I was sitting there last week waiting for my masala dosa and the filter coffee relishing the smile the friendly waiter gave me (hospitality and tamilnadu has got a connection too ) . Soon a dad walked in with his two kids a boy and a girl .  It reminded me of my childhood when our dad made it a point to take us to all the restaurants in town every week .

My dosa came and I was enjoying the great taste for the 100 th time as I have visited Coimbatore more than 20 times over last 5 years . Suddenly a sweet envy (it was not a bad feeling I promise ) went through me . I was thoroughly enjoying the crisp dosa but someone else was enjoying it more . There she was the 7 year old child carefully inspecting , rolling the masala dosa she received , face full of curiosity and giving the dosa 100 percent attention like the world outside didn’t exist .And that was not the end … she was thrilled at the sight , the smell , the taste of dosa that she was dancing in the seat and eating .

What is the message from the little girls actions ?  Of course as adults we cannot dance while eating a dosa even if we are ecstatic . But we can imbibe a few things  :

1.       Try to be in the here and now to enjoy the moment rather than living forever in the past and future . I have seen many people who worry endlessly about the future and all the big goals .

But the pleasure is in the small things which are often attainable for a few rupees .

2.       Try to retain the childhood curiosity in everything . Not only is it a source of knowledge but also it’s a pleasurable activity by itself .

3.       Do complain but don’t forever be a complainer especially regarding the cards you are dealt with in life  .  Try to see the positives in life sometimes  . (I have seen people complaining about worlds problems and the wrong flavor even while eating baskin robbins icecream … that’s criminal J  ) 

                                                                        And my personal suggestion :  don’t go after godmen and godwomen  to get great advice …. Just observe nature including children and animals . You may get the answers . Comments are welcome as usual 

the mercedes benz : dowry on wheels

                                                                        Each time i think about retiring from the blogosphere ( i am joking ok  , i have more topics to write these days ) things stare into my eye which keeps feeding me topics to write .

After a week of outstation work i returned to kerala for a much needed rest . And saw a brand new mercedes benz in the nearby locality . Being a fan of the S class , E class and C class and their impressive specs (power-weight ratio, luxury factor etc ) i asked who was the owner of this E class . I was not shocked by the answer as it was " for the soon to be son-in law" . Oh there is thus there are three ways of getting a Mercedes Benz :

1.  work hard i mean very hard get a good salary and buy one
2 .  decide where you will be born :  to a very rich dad
3 .  choose your father-in -law "wisely /cheaply " depending on your mindset  .

If you thought these son-in-laws and father-in-laws dealt only in cars you are really mistaken . They are also in the field of "education " .

These days its not uncommon to purchase a postgraduate seat for the would-be son in law so that he becomes a walking asset for the family . And dont get shocked by the eyepopping amount the father in law shells out it is in the order of 1 -1.5 crores . Dont think that the father in law is foolish enough to spend this amount because compared to S Class which will depreciate over the years in value this is an "asset " which will last for lifetime . And if some foolish fellow like me tells " Isnt it dowry ?"  or " isnt that the boy getting bought over by the girls dad "  he gets a look as if he has told something unparadonable .

                                                                 Personally i feel if you are living off the money of your father-in law that tells a lot about you as a person . Also since we live in an era where the "girl child " and "womanhood " is celebrated isnt it high time that fathers stop bribing the potential groom with these goodies . However well meaning they are isnt it proclaiming that your daughter is in some way inferior .

                                                                     

best wishes to obama

                                                                     I am happy that Obama became president of the united states again for the second term  . I dont know in depth about his policies , the promises he has kept during his past term or about the fine aspects of his promises in this term . But i am happy for a few reasons :

Because he is black .  Yes i said it right . For at last for the second time United states is showing evidence that it is indeed a country which is showing progress in equality of status and of opportunity . You may ask me why hasnt it been like that forever in that country from the days of Abraham Lincoln . From the race riots of Los  Angeles in the 1990s  to civil rights movement by Martin Luther King in the 1960s  it was a paradox in that country which professed equality of status and of opportunity and freedom for all .  But at last i am optimistic that things are changing . Of course in the long years of freedom Obama was the first black president elected by the white majority  .  And it was a great sight in seeing people of many races including indians cheering for this black man .

Another paradox of united states which i have written in earlier blog is regarding their healthcare . In india inspite of the "poverty "  , "corruption " and a host of other insurmountable challenges i am seeing people getting healthcare within their means . I am personally witnessing people getting CT scans free or for a few  dollars in machines costing more than 1 million dollars . And best of the machines get released same time in india too . While US inspite of a percapita which is more than 10 times of india still has a significant number of people "out of insurance cover "  due to poor healthcare policies . It is  sad enough not to get treatment in a poor developing country but to get neglected in the richest nation is the limits .Sometime back  i did a presentation for MBA students and a key slide was Barack Obamas picture in which he is showing intense concern for the healthcare divide and his proposed plan to make healthcare more accessible for the marginalised in america .

Lastly i feel he hasnt started any fresh offensive any country like Libya or Iraq and instead focussed more on other things than showing the military might of the United states .  Wishing him luck in his current term at the white house and hope he will take United States truly to the principles by which that country is made and exemplified by the Gettysberg speech of Abraham Lincoln (one of my heroes )  . 

money money must be funny in a rich mans world

I meet two kinds of people . One kind always talks about money and for them money is the centrepoint of all their waking hours and each effort is spend saving up each and every rupee for the "future " . I have seen people who goto extremes in leading a very frugal life denying even the simple pleasures of life to amass wealth . And the sad thing is these people dont give a penny to others unless they see a benefit .

The other kind is less common . For them relationships and love rank way ahead of money . They see money just for what it is --nothing more .  Of course many of my close relationships are with such people . But i have a suggestion to make to these close people of mine ....Two sample conversations recently :

" I dont have 30 rupees for my mobile recharge  "  :person 1  told me
" Hey but last week only you got 3000 rupees as gift from your relative " : I told
" Oh i gave it as a gift to another close relative "  :person 1
" Hey you could have kept 30 rs and given off the rest  "  : I told
" Hmmm... i didnt think about that "  :person 1


Another person , another time  ::
"  Next week my two wheeler loan is due "  person 2
" But you told you had 5000 rs with you a week back " I told
" Oh one of my friend had an urgent need so i gave it to him " person 2
" Then who will pay the two wheeler loan " I asked
" Hmmmm..,, God will give an answer "  :person 2

These two conversations are real ones which happened last week and knowing these two people it is not surprising they are always broke . Both are great human beings with a good heart and also who values relationships above money .  But having seen both kinds of people for so long i feel i should advice people of the latter category  (ya  ... i have a long beard and am a sage in money advice as i have been reading money magazines like outlook money  for close to 3 years but still dont value money above relationships )

The point is these two persons can continue to be the good persons without getting broke if they do some "money management "  .  Even if you have only one rupee it is prudent if you allocate that money reasonably so that money is split for your expenses , others expenses and savings and making sure that you dont go broke . Its surprising to find that with proper money management you can continue to give money be it for charity or for helping "needy friends " but still making sure that your basic needs are taken care of .

In the first example even if you are so loving there is nothing wrong in keeping a 100 rupees for your personal needs before contributing the rest . And in the second case i was shocked to find that my dear friend had lend money to help in the "urgent need " of someone buying a two wheeler when her own loan was not paid .  She should have been more choosy in lending money for "urgent " needs . The sad fact is most people who value relationships over money get taken on a ride by many people . But with some conscious money management they can be the master of both their relationships as well as money ... I have tried it and so far i have only positive results  ....

PS : So finally  .. this blog  is not about the ABBA song  ...money money must be funny  (that will be another blog later. I never give up on using my blogs to express my views , giving some info to some readers and for some helping as a sleeping aid . :)   )