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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Julie(1975 film ) ...... inter-religious marriages my views

Taxi or bus journeys from the airport is busy time for me . Because that is when the blogs in my mind compete with each other for attention .  (In short i use my sparsely used brain  )  .  Today i was confused as ever to write which topic and suddenly Kishore kumars music Bhool Gaya Sab Kuch from film Julie  (1975 )  brought me  thinking about  inter-religious marriages .

Nowhere else than it is evident that ritualistic  religion is against love  than in the topic of inter-religious marriages and relationships  .  And innumerable relationships have been destroyed by religion playing a disproportionate role before and after marriage  .

There is a need to rethink our attitude of inter-religious marriages 30+ years after the film Julie is released because though the number of intercaste and interreligious marriages have increased drastically the familial and soceitys attitudes are still fairly narrowminded as ever .  But its funny thinking about it because the  soceity has drastically changed in the last 30 years . The joint family system , the family support system etc have almost crumbled, even the hypocrisy of religion is increasingly exposed in numerous ways but still its a  paradox that narrowmindedness still exists .

First of all if a relationship is based on true love and there is a reasonable level of understanding and flexibility  religion should not stand in the way of the relationship  ( my personal view  )  .  Now on why some of the arguments  against  interreligious  are wrong according to me  :

1  . Compared to past  increasingly young people spend majority of their lives with themselves with minimal time spent with the extended family even with parents . In this scenario when marriages are increasingly taking place between individuals rather than families isnt it better that love (not lust) is the basis of the relationship rather than the shared circumstances (religion included )  .  In olden times marriages was more a union of families when maybe the religious mixing created lot of turmoil .

2. Increasingly finding the hypocrisy in ritualistic religions young people are more spiritual than religious . many of them are even agnostics and atheists . In such a scenario what is the role of religion in their relationship  .

3.  If you analyse the failure of love marriages at least in some cases its due to religion . But here too its not because of the lovers religious differences but the family  making sure that every opportunity is used to put oil into any small spark in the relationship when the couple have differences .  A really mature couple should recognise this challenge (its indeed a challenge ) and fight against external elements putting burden into the relationship.

4. When a child is born ...... To some DINKs (Double income no kids )  this is not even an issue to be discussed unless they just want to produce a baby to create confusion in the family . But for others the new software versions of children (they no longer blindly follow their parents religion ) nowadays childrens religion should be less of an issue than in  previous generation .  Unless of course the family wants to use children to create problems in the relationship  .

To sum up  ... Unless you are both very strong in ritualistic religious beliefs and believe that after death you both will go to separate heaven or hell ( delusional thinking according to me  )  if you have reasonable degree of flexibility and ability to fight challenges ( soceity will make sure that there are )  go ahead with it  . But  if you are in serious doubt dont do it  because there are great girls or boys in your community  .

Now though my paternal family is notorious for inter-religious and inter-racial marriages increasingly i am seeing it  in the soceity that surrounds me even among conservative friends and neighbours  .  Thats why i always remain optimistic regarding this issue  ... Time to hear the music  ...  Bhool gaya sabh kuch  .. Julie  ... (kishore kumar  .. Julie ..1975 )

PS  : Julie is not my girlfriend  :)   

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