Lulu mall ice skating and happy new year

                                               

       Today being new years eve i took my cousins to the lulu mall for ice skating . Its the only ice skating rink in kerala and being a good calorie burner and also a good entertainment ( i had done it once in mumbai ) i was eager to do it . We went to lulu mall in kochi one of largest malls in asia . Before entering the skating rink i had vision of a place where we could skate in peace probably in a larger rink than  in mumbai . Though my cousin was an expert in ice skating i was a beginner .

What i was not expecting was the crowd around the ice skating rink . Being circular and with around 500 + people crowded around with jeering and occasional howling i suddenly felt i was in a roman collosseum . If it were gladiators whose fights were judged by the crowd here it was us who was potential gladiators . Most of the ice skating participants were beginners and many of them were falling as soon as they started walking on ice balanced on a very thin blade of ice skating shoe . To tell the truth though the stage of stage fear was gone for me this was a tricky situation were a large crowd was commenting and shouting when people fell down .Me and my cousin 2 (who was also a beginner ) was in half  mind to turn back while cousin 1 was already rushing in to show his skills . ( maybe he was a reincarnated gladiator )  .

But generally not a person who turns back (cousin 2 also of similar mindset ) we went in put on the gear and went inside the arena . Ice was more slippery today and the rink was large . Crowd was passing comments and howling when people fell but suddenly the focus changed . The focus was on the ice , the terrain for which we had come . Of course the distracting crowd with comments like "award film motion " for my slow moving cousin 2 and "chetta when is the next stop " to me were audible but still the focus changed to the ice and the skating . Especially in the latter part we even started enjoying the comments still a little self conscious to prevent a major fall .

Thinking of the new year ahead i can only think of the ice skating rink . Before any experience we have our own visions about the coming new year but even minutes away from it we do not know how it will be for us the actual experience of the coming year . But as any dedicated ice skater knows its not the falls or the crowd that matters but only the "experience" . For that we have to put our ice skating shoes and with a whistle take off into the ice ....... and enjoy both the positives and the negatives .. Happy new year 2014 ...

PS : Thank you 2013 for giving me so many beautiful and challenging experiences . Looking forward to 2014 ...

medical moments series 9 ....the stuck sigmoidoscope ...

Recently i was watching the legal drama series the practice on fox crime . As it depicts ethical dilemmas and strong arguments i am a fan of this legal drama series  . Usually the series deals with murders and high profile crimes and their legal defence . But this time it was on medical . It was thought provoling to say the least .

Basically my favourite lawyer character was called on an "acute emergency " .  The patient a big industrialist is on the table and a sigmoidoscope /colonoscope ( an instrument to view the back passage )  is inserted . And he is calling the lawyer from the table . Basically he wants to sue the doctor for medical malpractice and the doctor is in a dilemma whether to withdraw the scope or not . It was a sarcastic look at the dilemmas of a doctor practising in a litigant soceity . And the example was the apt sarcasm .  Of course after the episode and lot of arbitrations by multiple lawyers the doctor and patient agreed to get the scope out of his back passage .

That legal drama gets acted out in the hospital (somewhat like an out of court arbitration ) but the ethical points raised were very relevant in current times ... mainly in the western world but increasingly in india .
I am not going to the arguments and counterarguments of medical negligence as having read extensively and seen medicine from different aspects and speaking to a reasonable number of people both doctors and public . To make a long story short .. just like in soceity 5 percent of doctors as well as patients are very bad ..(because they too are taken from the same soceity ) . All the mistrust is because there is a lot of lack of knowledge (even among the educated )  and also there is a general expectation that most diseases can be cured and course predicted especially when technology is growing at a very fast pace .

In addition "consumerism " with all its good and bad aspects has increased tremendously over recent years . And of course many doctors have not taken the time to understand the changing expectations of the soceity or as few of them say they have given up on the overexpectations of many people in the soceity . I have blogged on Dr X who is thriving extremely well , has a good name in soceity but who is paying back to the soceity in his own way  ...But this sigmoidoscope episode is a must watch in "The practice " as it sarcastically shows where medical field is heading and though solutions are very simple like most things instead of endless arguments .

PS : A note about me .. for last many years i am in medical teaching and since my students of all ages do not represent "the ignorant arrogant " category and dont have overexpectations i am very happy in my role . And as a patient ( i too need my repairs once in a while ) i choose my doctors carefully and i ask them relevant questions , never throw my "attitude"  at them  and on my part read up especially the limitations of each disease condition .

After all i dont want a sigmoidoscope stuck in my back passage . I love my doctors and though i dont say they are Gods (thats outdated ) i respect them and trust them and forgive them for their humanness . And regarding the "black sheep " i strongly believe both the soceity as well as the medical community identify the real black sheep and isolate them ... Its possible , believe me ..

Also till we find a 100 percent cure for all diseases lets keep our attitude at home as no amount of money or attitude helps to fight most diseases except a trusting partnership between a doctor and patient ..That will prevent diseases from making the last laugh . Comments , arguments , welcome ..

on diplomacy , sex and divorce

                                                                      Just one week of no blogging and the news is filled with articles each one deserving discussion . Where to start  ...
Ok first the arrest of the indian senior diplomat in USA by US authorities and the diplomatic row it created .

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-12-13/india/45161331_1_young-diplomat-shanti-gurung-senior-indian-diplomat

From ancient times even in barbaric nations there was one category which was exempted from mistreatment . They were the messengers or messenger equivalents sent from one country to another . In modern times there are civilised agreements between nations called "diplomatic immunity " . The case in question is not waiving of the criminal proceedings against the accused but proper conduct is followed when arresting diplomats . The same country where our cultural ambassador Shahrukh khan was humiliated at the border sometime back no more further comments on this issue . USA should not lead by example as it wants to be but at least let it not flaunt laws as per its convenience .

Next about recent supreme court judgement on gay rights .
http://www.livemint.com/Politics/FHDQ9yB2jRJMsOlNCQrkgL/Supreme-Court-to-rule-on-legality-of-gay-sex-today.html

Though its a controversial "moral" issue  as some  people find the concept of gay sex repulsive many of the recent verdicts (excepting this one ) and public opinions even in social forums and in the news are more logical . Most of the issues moral or not belongs to one category ... whether the individuals freedom is allowed . Soceity and most of the laws are there to prevent infringement of individual rights by another person .. Stealing , rape , murder being examples ..  But recently it is good that the concept of fundamental rights are discussed on a large scale on social forums and even in a conservative country like india amendments or at least amendments of the older laws are in the pipeline ( Many of our laws were made by the british )  . Culturally and socially the number of social leaders like Raja Ram Mohan Roy or Swami Vivekananda we had no dearth and i am sure the country will amend some of the laws soon ..There was even a recent judgement on live -in relationships by supreme court . (again a question of individual freedom of choice .. the judgement was positive )  .

Lastly on divorce .. Hrithik Roshan and his wife of more than 17 years are heading towards divorce according to the news . The usual suspects of divorce but whats charming is the statements given by Hrithik in the press . Dignified way of dealing with it ..The same was observed when John Abraham and Bipasha split some time back .  I only heard his interview but still very dignified way of dealing with the split . Splitting is always painful and the "blame game " is human . But dealing with your loved one (if ever you loved ) even in times of split tells a lot about you rather than the loved one ...Anyways i hope it ends well whatever decision they take ..

Any more news ?  No more news  .. Times up :)  Comments please

movie review before sunrise

                                                                How much time it takes to fall in love with a girl and give the first kiss ?  2 hours ....If you dont believe me see the movie Before sunrise .  Its a movie set in the beautiful backdrop of vienna . The male and female protagonists travel in a train as complete strangers and they see an older couple quarrel and they break into a conversation starting with that topic . Soon the guy has to disembark at Vienna train station to catch his flight the next day . And the charming and dreamy guy convinces the girl to also disembark with him and since the whole night is there they walk and talk the entire night .

If there is a movie where the infatuation or puppy love is shown in full glory this is it .  Having seen romances develop over time and over shared joys and sorrows it was a different experience to watch a true infatuation developing on screen . Its nowhere near the love of movie " frida" http://drharoonhmarikar.blogspot.in/2013/06/frida-movie-review.html or the love in "casablanca"  which is about true love the ideal which is selfless though started initially by boy meets girl  . But this movie focusses on the boy meets girl part and you can see the physical attraction carrying them through the puppy love process .
Dont assume this appaappan is against the puppy love but seeing this movie makes me realise how much the chemistry and the hormones shuts off the mind from reality and how easy it is to fall in love .

Ok ,,, movie review again .. Usually my personal ratings of movies have a fairly good correlation with the movie ratings in movie review sites like imdb.com but here though the review sites have given a high rating i personally found this movie just average .  The hero and heroine were beautiful people and it was nice to see the flirtiness developing into puppy love ( i love and also hate that term dont ask me why)  and the backdrop of Vienna (a city i have visited )  was the most beautiful part of the movie  .  Story and screenplay i found just average ..

So to sum up .... see the movie and enjoy it . Unlike me u may like it so much because i am not a romantic anymore and never had been :)   But seriously this movie is puppy love in real time ...See freida and casablanca and this movie and tell me why i tell this movie is average .. 

Mumbai meri jaan

After almost an year visited mumbai for a few days . Being a hater of big cities (i dont like big cities impersonal nature for starters nor the endless traffic ) i was not expecting much in this visit . But as usual going after an year brought out the contrasts between many other cities , the state i am in (kerala ) and mumbai  .

Lets start with the autowala . Those who have worked or visited mumbai knows that its so busy that it is a wonder that the autowalas there are not dying early due to stress related illnesses . Maybe they do . But as a visitor or commuter most of them are so chilled out and friendly that you look again if you are in a busy metropolis . And to top it all they never overcharge and even their metres smart so that night charges come automatically .  At 12 midnight for a charge of 71 rs when you get a 1 rs balance back after giving 72 rs there is no other word than "impressive "  .

Contrast my lovely state where yesterday i paid prepaid charges to an autowala (to prevent fleecing ) and the look on his face was as if i had trespassed on his property or to put it more bluntly like a beggar who has hitched a ride . Not an isolated incident has happened numerous times .

Ok , cars also tell a story in mumbai . All high end models like jaguar , audi and bmw are there along with the poormans cars like alto but on the road they are all equal . Having driven in mumbai i know this for sure . Long back my car had broken down in the middle of the western express highway in mumbai and this city where seconds are precious except for one random person who glared at me all others patiently diverted their cars and drove . If it was in kerala i would surely have been reminded even of my grandfathers and fathers names by fellow drivers ( not all but our states people  has great road manners and they take things personally )  .

I had lunch at french restaurant , dinner at japanese restaurant , next day in punjabi restaurant and mumbai is truly cosmopolitan . Being a foodie i appreciate it that there are 1000 s of good restaurants in mumbai with all the cuisines in the world . You may tell me its a "cosmopolitan" city and dont compare kerala with mumbai . I know but considering the well travelled keralite is there a proportionate number of restaurants which serve the great cuisines in the world in kerala . Agree there are a few (even a sushi place in kochi ) but quality and standards ...no comments . We could do a lot better .

 Mumbai is a very busy city and many people spend hours on the road in heavy traffic (not a great thing whatever the reason ) . But inspite of this the man on the street is more helpful and unassuming than many other places . Mumbai had its share of major crisis like terrorist attacks , severe floods and at all these times the mumbaikar has helped each other in ways which are an example to many other places including my state .
Still i love to be in kerala mainly because this is were i am born and the "place " is so much beautiful and i have my share of friends and relatives here . But still the "man on the street " its mumbai winning hands down anyday .

PS : I havent touched on the marathi spirit instilled by the politicians there for their own gain . But the vibrance of mumbai is its cosmopolitan culture , its history and the native marathis who by and large are very nice people (except a few who are brainwashed by their politicians )  . Would like to have your comments and thanks for reading

My experiments with cooking

I am a foodie to the core . But many years back though on an occasional basis i started venturing into the kitchen . It started with the nescafe shake which was made famous with the advertisements in TV long back with a shaker given free with nescafe . And though theres nothing to go wrong with a cold coffee the final taste depends on how well you shake and the proportions . The more passionately you shake it the tastier it became . And i realised later that the difference between the average cook and the best cook is "passion " .

I never envied rabbits for eating the carrots . Afterall carrot is not a great vegetable but i think the milkmaid free recipe book started me when i was in school to borrow moms grater and started grating the carrots and adding ghee and milk and of course milkmaid to make my first proper dish ghajar ka halwa .. As they say if people eat it without complaining you get passmark . It was passed .

Years passed and i spent only 1 percent of the time in kitchen and that time was used mainly to eat from moms preparations while they were being made . Then i had a eureka moment . I still think i made that recipe myself . (to the best of my knowledge ) . I named it too called prawns nariyalwaala .. (prawns with masala cooked in coconut milk )  . Prawns recipe was followed by crab curry and i made sure that i cleaned it myself .

While these high end non veg dishes was going on i one day made the "simple " vegeterian dish called sambar . In cooking if one p stands for passion the other p is proportion .  I learned it the hard way by making the "simple " sambar . First time i added so much water that finally the entire dish was thrown as it was like a vegetable soup and few people pour soup on rice .  Later i realised the proportions after asking around ( guys are bad at asking not only directions )  and from then on my sambar became edible .

Again without going to aviyal ( i still dont know it ) graduated to the great biriyani . But this time no experiments i learnt it from the veterans . From my father and mother separately because both had their distinct style of cooking .  To sum up ... i am still experimenting and all are welcome to try it (at their on risk )

Mammootty and the rat snake --- my teachers

Many of my teachers had nicknames . Both when i was in college and when i was in school . None were put by me and i never called them nicknames . As i grew older i realised that just because some of my friends gave some of my teachers nicknames didnt mean they were disrespectful to them .Nicknames like petnames could be due to love also . Anyways coming to some of my teachers .

Rat snake (or chera ) was obviously our biology teacher . I dont know why he wasnt called a cobra or any other name . But when i think of him i remember one day when he asked all of us to draw the picture of a rabbit . Whats there in a picture drawing ?  It was fun . The fun part was however hard we tried the pictures drawn by us (even by the bookworms :) )  resembled other animals than a rabbit . Some resembled a rat . I stared at the picture i drew and i think it remotely resembled a rabbit .  What we were not prepared for was our biology teacher checking each of my friends pictures and many of the poor souls getting a muscle squeeze punishment if it resembled any other animal . And when he reached me he stared twice once at me and then at the picture . It was a just pass as i didnt get the punishment . But it was a narrow escape . Was he called rat snake because he was looking for rats in the picture . I dont know . Anyway he was called chera (malayalam for rat snake ).

Then there was mammootty (not the film star ) and frankly we were jealous of him :)  . Because in our mixed college while we guys were trying all our tricks to impress the girls the girls were getting impressed not by us but our chemistry teacher . He looked like mammootty the film star and he taught well . I used to like his class and i loved organic chemistry . Mammooty had a good class presence too as even the naughtiest of boys behaved well in his class .

Then there was" small" teacher a lady teacher whose name rhymed with small and also was of small built and also she was new to the teaching field . She was my friend . But in the class the poor teacher was the target of as many paper rockets than were put on by the space centre in trivandrum . She was nice but could not control the class .

Then there was "anki " the name of the dress worn by missionaries . Unfortunately our spoken english teacher was nicknamed anki .  He was a nice teacher but again he was particular that the english was spoken just like the britishers did . And the world famous malayali students (including me ) used to mangleesh never rose up to his expectations . And the punishment was a muscle squeeze .  If you wonder what this muscle squeeze was it was a pinching without injury by compressing the muscle in the back of the arm . In those days when our teachers punished us corporally we didnt go to court suing them or even hating them . They were committed and the love -hate relationship came out in the form of nicknames ..,.

I am in teaching field for last 13 years and dont know whether i am called which animal or villain character . But most of my students give me respect and is friends with me . As long as that is the case i dont care whatever i am called .. As they say whats in a name ... is Mammootty listening :)

nostalgia ---baths

                                  Nothing is as refreshing as a hot water bath . Today also did it as usual (proves that i take a bath everyday :) )  . But today was nostalgic about my baths of my childhood ..

                                                             Just like varieties of food (oh God when will i stop this food comparison ) each bath was unique in itself . First there was the simple bath where for hours you start playing with the large metal bucket as big as yourself (these traditional vessels were 6 times the size of our present day plastic buckets ) . Hot water if you wanted was made by using firewood under these huge metal vessels . And the merriment increased when the cousins (all kids of nearby ages ) had a group bath with playing with the water and mock fighting .

Then there were baths which were in the open . If you think we were exhibitionists you are partially right . It was on the side of the family well and the touch of cold water from the well was more refreshing than any pipe water . And the exhibitionism was purely unintentional as the open air bath was just that ... open air ... and we were children :)

Then there was the bath in the pond . It was more exciting as some swimming was involved alongside the fishes and the occasional tortoise . But personally though i was not afraid even of snakes there was one unknown creature we were all afraid of .. "crocodiles " .. No , our pond was never infested with crocodiles . But it was a fear instilled by our mother and aunts to prevent the kids (really a naughty bunch ) from going near the pond unsupervised . And the swim was only when the pond was less full as when it was full it was 3 person depth and scary .

Coming to crocodiles i was lucky enough to swim in the place where sankaracharya had his leg bitten by a real crocodile . That was kalady . When not in rainy season we used to go there to have a swim in the river periyar . Its a beautiful river and has inspired countless malayalam songs too .

And last but not the least the beautiful kovalam beach and swimming in the sea . Every weekend when i was a bigger kid and in early teens used to go there and had a swim . Taste of the salt and an occasional tumbling with the waves makes this bath unique as you need another bath at home to clear the sand which sticks to your body after . But in the excitement who cares ...

And the bath in the sea with my girlfriend :)  ( sorry thats seriously a joke ... only phantom did it with diana ) ...I was a child remember  ...

Three inaugrations and some little thoughts

                                                                      Todays newspaper had a photo of a leading dress showroom in kochi getting inaugrated . It was the latest in a series of large showrooms of them which is led by a successful kerala businesswoman . I just looked to see which big politician or filmstar was inaugrating the huge showroom worth crores in investment . And i was surprised to find that it was she herself and an elderly family member who was lighting the lamp and inaugrating it .

                                                                   Having always admired this lady entrepreneur for her people skills (its not easy to manage a large workforce in the great Gods won country )  as well as her brand building skills this inaugration without inviting a big shot was a lesson in itself .

This is in sharp contrast with the inaugration i attended six months back of a  bottling plant in kochi area . Two politicians were invited for the inaugration and one of them from the beginning to the end was having mobile phone attached to his ear (no exaggeration ) . The bigger politician was repeatedly exhorting the workers about workers rights . People familiar with the work climate of kerala knows that most major industries have shutdown here because of "hyperawareness " of workers rights at the expense of work . and this guy during inaugration invited by the management was trying to leverage his political clout by pointing out repeatedly to workers rights . As an audience i was left thinking how this private firm should have at least invited a filmstar who at least would not have caused them harm by the speech . And as predicted within six months there were three strikes in the factory and hopefully it will get shutdown soon .

Another leading shop one of its biggest kind in south india opened a large showroom in kochi . This time since all our kerala filmstars were not enough so they downloaded a megastar from bollywood paying almost a crore for his visit . The inaugration was a gala event one of the best inaugrations in the state like the big fat indian wedding .  A few months passed by , the bollywood star became richer by a crore , the people had nice memories of the event but what happened to the main thing . The huge showroom which spent a significant chunk of their potential turnover on this over the top expenditure . Within just a few months the huge showroom became bankrupt and now the absent lights and the huge building gives a grim reminder of extravagant expenses causing downfall which was to a large extent preventable .

                                                              A good beginning need not have a politician or a filmstar . Let them do their jobs be it in politics or films . Spend that extra money on your business .Comments welcome as always and share it if you like ..

my goli soda days

                I am getting old :)  Dont give me advice or make fun of me . I am still 17 years young :)

What i meant is i am thinking backwards often especially about the good old days in food .Not that i dont like any of the food these days but some of the items i do miss nostalgically .

One of them is the goli soda . The soda which was in a green bottle and which you had a marble in it which you squeezed with your finger to open it . Not that current sodas are filled with anything else at least that had "pure carbon dioxide " and the sherbets with lime had a special taste when made with it . And that gave you good company in good as well as bad days ..In good days i used to have it from the corner tea shop and on bad days ( i mean the stomach upset days ) this soda with lime and salt with ginger calmed my angry stomach .

And then there were the green and red parrys muttais(toffees ) . Maybe the hard caramel it was hard work to crush it with your teeth and savour the taste unlike the readymade toffees which melt in your mouth . Of course the poppins which was its friend is still available but these green and red parrys muttais disappeared long back .

There was a short period when i was studying in a good private school but 10 minutes in lunch hour i was literally begging . In those days we didnt get pocket money and we were not allowed to buy the fruits which were salted and sold near the school for a few paise . So many of us used to go and literally beg her for a piece of fruit and they used to give us a piece more out of pestering . Nowadays also we get those fruits like mangoes but fruits like lanthapazham etc i hardly see these days . And the taste of a fruit got after intense begging/pestering is different . Even more sweet was the ice mittai not the company made but delivered in bicycles with boiled semiya topping . Thought to be "unhygeinic " they were totally banned by our uncle who studied in same school years back . But occasionally i tasted this heavenly ice stick keeping an eye faraway whether my uncle was around .

Naranga mittai , gas mittai etc in the big bottles of  the ubiquitous teashops made our day . But still when my aunt from america long ago asked what i wanted from there i was about to tell " Coca Cola " because that was not available in india then . Now we have Coca Cola but i miss all those which i got in my childhood . Not with a sense of loss as we have lots of tasty things these days but i want at least the green parrys mittai . Is it greed ?  Tell me what you think :)  

medical moments 7---the two sides of pain

                                                             He didnt protest . He didnt even  wince . But he gave me a sad look which i still remember .  Though 99 percent of the sadness was at the world and himself as he was just out of a failed suicidal attempt the remaining 1 percent was because of me .  A well built youngster of around 18-20 years that didnt help because i was trying to take his blood sample for the third time . And being my first  attempt in the procedure i failed . But that day i decided i will not contribute to pain of a patient to the best of my ability .

Though never interested in invasive procedures blood sample taking including that made me keenly interested in taking a deep interest in skill development just to avoid paining the patient . And maybe that failed first attempt helped me to do the procedures assigned to me including lumbar puncture and suturing with as much patient comfort as possible . My skill improved tremendously at these minor procedures by the end of housesurgeoncy .

Fast backward many decades . I was a small boy eating as much chocolates as any other . And soon the time came to get a tooth pulled out . I still remember the day because i saw heaven on that day . It took me years later to realise that the anaesthetic hadnt fully taken effect on that day and the dentist was a little early in pulling the tooth . He was a nice man but didnt check whether the anaesthetic had fully taken effect . And like many i too developed a dentist phobia after that . But years later i realised that some doctors are more tuned to patients pain than others .   And like i wrote yesterday on choosing a doctor its important that you should choose a doctor/dentist who is as interested in curing you as in doing the procedure with minimal pain .
"Please lift your finger if you have pain " shows the ability to empathise with you in addition to the medical knowledge .

Though these days the public often quote Hippocratic oath without even reading about it when questioning doctors ethics,  in one aspect i think Hippocrates can be quoted

One of his sayings : "Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.".   And though as discussed in medical moments 6 , this comforting by words depends on patients expectations also which can vary , the comfort by minimising pain to the least is a realistic expectation in these days of good anaesthesia . And yes , if your doctor or dentist is insensitive to your pain , dont complain that ALL doctors are bad but look for another good doctor .  (there are many out there these days ... )  

Comments welcome and share it if you like ...

medical moments 6---choosing a doctor

Decades ago when i was a medical student i used to accompany one of my elder relatives to her doctor . He was a nice doctor but i didnt like him . The reason being he wont talk . Buzzling with curiosity i wanted him to discuss how he arrived at his diagnosis , why he treated the way he did etc . I was not to blame because inspite of the private visit (he was a retired senior physician ) i wanted him to discuss my relatives case in detail . I would have told my elder relative not to go to him but there was a big problem . She liked him so much and also his treatment was working very much . And jokingly we used to tell that she was in love with him .... One day i asked her why she liked him (as a doctor of course ) so much  ... And the answer shocked me ....,HE DOESNT TALK MUCH . I like it that way .

Medical practice has changed so much in recent years and following it very closely i find theres so much change in the doctor patient relationship . Actually its inevitable because of many reasons a few prominent ones ....
1. Inspite of tremendous advancement in all fields of science including healthcare it still hasnt progressed as much as the "demand " . As a brief example most of the tests have an accuracy less than  100 percent while even educated people  expect 100 percent accuracy in diagnosis .

2 . cost of healthcare has gone up at least in part due to costly healthcare equipment . And while the average person wants to enjoy all the benefits of these fascinating technologies few are ready to pay for it . I have personally seen people who spent 10000 rs for a dress who cry spending 40 rs for medicine .  The same goes for lifesaving surgeries which are often available even now in india cheaper than many home appliances ..
3. I have also witnessed the same people who wants doctors to be ethical and humane but sitting around a table and discussing multicrore project of hospital and discussing ONLY the business aspect of it . ( And none of them where doctors  )  ..Most healthcare is owned by businessmen who have the same ideals as soceity .

                                                                  I mentioned these points because the "trust " in the doctor patient relationship has definitely lessened ( I will not say its gone as im optimistically pessimistic in most things )  and the "fault " is on both sides of the equation . Now all this lack of trust and the loud voiced discussions about the "bad doctors "  gives way to confusion when the time to find a doctor for any of your illness comes near .Because here discussions turn into panic .
Some suggestions :
1. Get a referral from a family friend doctor . In that way he/she will have your best interests in mind when choosing a specialist . Also he will have a good idea about specialists expertise and experience .

2. Trust your instincts when assessing a new doctor . In medicine call it the "placebo effect(refer wiki )  " the doctor patient relationship is also important for cure . But instead of complaining that all or most doctors are bad its important that you choose one depending on your personality  . Just like i told in first para i have seen many patients who want a brief explanation not all the possible complications and others who want to hear everything .

3. If you are not comfortable and for life changing therapies get a second opinion . This doesnt mean keep on shopping around for doctors too much (i mean going around more than 2-3 doctors ) .

4. In healthcare a doctor is expected to have ultimate knowledge , the ultimate communication skills  and the ultimate ethical behaviour . But practically this ideal can never be reached because doctors are representatives of the soceity they represent . So when choosing a doctor also have reasonable expectations .
5 . Read up on the internet from good sites about your health and illnesses . And use it as an aid in your understanding of the illness to make informed choices . All too often i have seen on one extreme educated people who have zero knowledge on their illness and on the other extreme so much partial knowledge only to question  the doctor (not question about the illness )  . Yes , why i mention this is if you are in current generation choose a doctor who talks logically and friendly to you about the illness and answer your questions (not questioning ..). But always remember the time limitations of a consultation which the poor doctor is helpless about . So ask the most important questions and forgive him/her for not being too talkative because of the big queue outside

                                                  So in this era  the onus is on the patients to make informed choices , take more active part in their illness including taking some  responsibility for the bad outcomes . And exercise your choice wisely so that you yourself can collectively weed out the unethical ones from the real good ones ( there are many )  . And above all have realistic expectations especially since even today diseases dont respect neither the doctors nor their patients and doctors should be blamed only for their mistakes and not blame when the real culprit (the disease ) does its job .  


"Reflecting on his career in medicine years later, Dr  Michael Crichton  concluded that patients too often shunned responsibility for their own health, relying on doctors as miracle workers rather than advisors . "...... And luckily we got the Jurassic Park novel and lots of others because of this decision . But we want a few of the good ones in the field to fight the deadly diseases . 

Comments welcome 

Kite runner movie review

                                     Always in the best seller list and in the bookstands this heading always fascinated me . Recently though a little lazy to read a book (im always lazy :) )  i saw the movie of the same name . I always wanted to know who this kite runner was .

Its a movie illustrating the friendship between two boys in Afghanistan . One of them is the masters son and another is the servants son. But that doesnt stop them from being kids indulging in games including flying kites in rural  afghanistan . The servants son likes his masters son more than himself and that is illustrated  in the movie . But the masters son basically a coward gradually feels insecure and plots against his friend . The child actors have acted well . While this friendship and its trials are being played there are other relationships like father-son , master -servant etc well played out by the other characters in the movie . The movie is slow paced (dont say i didnt warn you )  but that helps in imbibing the subtle relationships being played around .

In the later part of the movie the sons grow up and one becomes a famous writer and seeks refuge in the USA . Meanwhile the son of his friend is caught by religious  fundamentalists . What he does further is shown in remaining part of the movie ..

As you know the book is written by doctor turned writer Khaled Hosseini and the book is a best seller . As it happens with movie adaptions some changes will be there but the authors idea , theme and demonstration of human relationships is very good . And the background setup in rural afghanistan , the soviet invasion etc is neatly interwoven in the movie . But i think the screenplay and direction could have been better to make this a great movie because the latter part of the movie is not believably picturised .

To make a long story short this movie if you are a real action fan is not for you , else you may like it ..  But definitely read the book ..  Comments and feedback please and share it if you like ..

Marriage and emotional abuse

                                                                     Do you know why movies like titanic and casablanca are so famous . Its not because of their photography or their acting (though that all is too good ) or not even about Kate Winslett .   Its because its about true love the ideal we all aim for in our relationships .  Now lets be real ... Movies are movies and reality is different . But being an ardent reader of autobiographies and with a keen interest in psychology as well as having a wide range of friends who are married , single and some divorced its but natural that i think about this occassionally about the male -female relationships around me be it the puppy love , the not-so-puppy love and the holy grail the marriage .

                                                                          India is one of the countries which has the least divorce rates . But recently the trend is changing rapidly with kerala becoming the divorce capital of india multifold  growth in divorce rates .  And though we prefer to shut a blind eye to the negative things including divorces these days many of the divorces happen soon also . There are cases of divorces happening in weeks to months after marriage . And divorces are not rare at all even around yourself and has become part of conversations these days .  I often used to think why for flimsy reasons these youngsters divorce and why cant they face reality and take the good along with the bad  . Yes even in the most ideal marriage lots of flexibility , understanding etc is required to make the marriage work .  And there are many happy marriages around .

But why this pro-marriage person is worried is not because of all this . Its because these days some of my married friends who are "happily married " are telling their not so happy stories .  Those who know me knows that i never prod anyone for their personal lives unless they share it . And some of the stories are shocking . One of my younger good friend is telling about after her recent marriage she was hospitalised after domestic abuse and the daily verbal abuse by her partner which is unprintable . Another friend of mine getting emotionally abused on a daily basis and putting up with it for the "sake of children and parents " .
Yet another friend putting up with the extramarital dalliances of her partner .

Having written earlier blogs on this topic why i write this one is for a specific cause . Marriage still is a great institution provided it is entered into for the right reasons by the right people . But marriage is not an excuse for getting abused be it physical or emotional . Though fights etc are part and parcel of marriage a persistent abuse from one partner warrants family counselling from a good therapist . This is all the more important because sometimes one of the partner could have narcissistic or any of the other personality disorders . And surprisingly the "victim " of abuse may also be part of the problem with severe self esteem issues which allow their partner to abuse them . With so much information available on the internet and books these days ( check out  http://drharoonhmarikar.blogspot.in/2013/03/book-review-fifty-50-marriage-by-vijay_4506.html             ) its high time in this twentyfirst century be happily married for the right reasons or at least evaluate yourself and the situation realistically with the help of a good therapist . Since india still prides on its low divorce rate  compared to western cultures we should still try to uphold our tradition ( Am i sarcastic here , maybe )  . But " abuse " in marriage in whatever form is a wake up  call to think about not only your situation but also yourself as  a person and make informed decisions .(be it 1 day or 10 years )

And lastly i am pro-marriage and also against divorces for flimsy reasons and where flexibility can solve many but not all problems . And i also realise that our great soceity looks down upon single moms and divorcees . But i think there are ways to be assertive in any interpersonal relationship and the concept of free will . Is my thinking because i dont like abuse in any form as its a violation of anothers independence or taking things too personally because my friends are getting affected .  Could be both .Would love your feedback in the feedback form on the right side . Thanks for reading ..

Alleppey beach ---Venice of the East in Gods own country

                                                                  Though i am a mountain man (i meant i like mountains like munnar and wyanad not that i resemble a mountain gorilla :) )  beaches are beautiful in their own way . And alleppey beach is one of the beaches i love not only because its a  nice beach and easily accessible (just 200 metres from alleppey railway station ) but because it oozes history . There was  a famous port here and was very important in erstwhile foreign trade .

Ok as the merchant of East venice (alleppey was called like that ) you land at the railway station by early evening . You can take an auto or better still take a long walk to the nearby lighthouse one of the few lighthouses constructed by royal family of travancore . The place was a weapons arsenal and later converted to a lighthouse . You can have a beautiful view of the beach and the quaint town of alleppey from the top .  Entry fee is peanuts (Rs 10 )  ...Yes price of a packet of peanuts  . In very few places in the world you can get entry into a nice lighhouse at this cost . And in the same well maintained compound you get a museum where hundreds of year old equipments are kept as museum including telescopes , communication equipment and even the older lighthouse "coconut oil " powered light of more than a century back . Amazing . Again entry cost Rs 10

Stay on top of lighthouse for sometime enjoy the breeze do some beachwatching and people watching (Nice to see people getting excited when on top of a lighthouse coming from different lands)  .  Take some photographs especially of the old bridge over the sea .

Its time to climb down now and go to the beach proper . Dont ask me whether this is Rajasthan but there are 3 camels for camel rides . Unless you are a puritan who will only camel ride in a desert , hop onto a camel and do a camel ride seeing the nice beach . Take photographs of the pier , take photographs of the signal house and walk along the beach road and if u like parks there is a small park nearby .

You should not swim in this beach due to currents . Watch the sunset and then have some peanuts (that too costs around 10 Rs ) and go back with memories of visiting a historic beach in the spice route ...

Btw i forgot the story : was the merchant of venice the good or the bad guy :) doesnt matter ...

the cyclone and some little thoughts

                                                          The cyclone which hit the south eastern part of india recently luckily didnt cause much casualties . But considering the fury of nature these days be it the tsunami which hit southeast asia or the hurricanes in the USA each of this makes us think about how powerless we are in spite of all progress in science against nature .

For a moment think about yourself . Having been told to evacuate in a few hours your house and on returning back you realise that you have lost everything which you have earned for many decades . Just because we are not in that state doesnt mean that anyone of us is immune to it . Isnt it a humbling thought when we realise that all our material gains and our vanity amounts to nothing even in this 21st century where we think we own the world . And its all the more relevant because many of us these days have pride proportional to the material things we amass .

And some more little thoughts ... I heard in one of the radio FM channels the anchor asking the audience what they would take if they are in the same situation and could take only one or two things only  and reply by sms . Many were telling money ,passport etc and some were telling letters from close people , things to remember etc ... It would be an interesting thought to think what you would take if you are in the same situation . Is a letter from a close person more precious than passport ?  Of course its a question of practicality versus emotionality and depends on personality but i was randomly thinking a lost passport can be replaced but a lost letter or something given by close persons can it be replaced ?

And lastly having lived off a suitcase (rather a bag ) many times in travel and also having read numerous accounts of travellers who have travelled extensively around the globe though we think we need so many things actually we can survive and even be happy with very few things . And these can be packed in a few hours too ... Because though its unfashionable "philosophy " we came into this world with nothing and will leave with nothing . And these calamities should make us realise our real place in this world .  Need not agree but i think about this whenever pride rears its head in myself or anyone i encounter in my day to day interaction .

Fox crime tv channel

                                         I am still searching for the person who called television the idiot box .  In moderation television viewing is nice  . Especially channels like discovery , national geographic and depending on your taste Fox crime . Hey a channel on crime ?  Yes there is its called Fox crime on satellite television .

Those not familiar with it let me explain . It contains a series of programs some of which is fiction , some real and some fiction based on real events . There is CSI miami which in each episode shows a crime scene and  how the police detectives track down the criminal using intelligent police work . Though fictional it shows the complexity of tracking down a criminal and the modern tools of crime detection . But who steals the show is Horatio Caine the chief detective who has a personality as good as James bond minus the women . His one liners , his sensitivity to the victims of crime as well as excellent detective skills makes this program too good . The plots of each episode till now (i have watched around 10) is very good too and in some episodes the motives of the "criminals " also makes you think.

Then there is the practice a program on fictional court drama on lawyers . Having a keen interest in law it is nice to see the arguments for and against a case often sensational being played out in court . What makes each episode even more interesting is the ethical element in many of the cases where the lawyers (as well as the viewers ) are called upon their value system . To make things more complicated each of the lawyer has their own personal stories and it is very interesting how they have to delicately deal with that aspect when arguing the case .

And lastly the police women of some US cities .. This is not fiction but based on actual 911 calls to police ans how they deal with it . This is also interesting as a viewer seeing how the personality of the police officer influences how they deal with a crime situation . As has been supported by crime statistics the black minorities is disproportionately involved in crime and this is also seen in the program . And as a viewer i couldnt help but observe how when an attractive white policewoman with an attitude (one particular policewoman) wherever she goes to defuse the situation ends up calling the entire police force around ultimately . While another policewoman in most of the situations is able to defuse the situations just by talking empathetically yet firmly .

At least for me (dont know about others ) this channel helped to understand the challenges felt by frontline professions like police and lawyers who work ethically . And even some criminals motives and their solutions . And btw where is the person who told television is idiot box ?  I want to shoot him :) :)  

medical moments 5 .... little knowledge is a dangerous thing

                                                                   I miss those phone calls . It starts off as an inquisitive call asking about some serious medical illness , its treatment options etc and which requires me not only to use my knowledge which i studied as well as some websearching at reputed medical sites .I like intellectual challenges but as soon as that information is given soon the discussion turns to the inaccuracy of medicine , how such and such patient died due to doctors mistake and all the negative talk on the medical profession .

Having seen the profession from three sides ... as a doctor , as a patient and also as a teacher working along with doctors ...( i teach radiologists and technicians )  i do see very well both sides of the coin . As i have blogged earlier the human body is the most amazing piece of machinery much more complex than any engineering marvel ( i work with both unlike most doctors )  .  And still inspite of tremendous advances in medical science each day we are discovering new things not only about treatment but even about the body .
Its really amazing if you spend time learning about it even by spending some time on the internet (as there are lots of patient-knowledge sites by reputed medical centres ) goes a long way in getting a good picture of the subject .

But there is one problem . Even at this moment some diseases have 100 percent cure (if detected early ) and some have 100 percent mortality and most diseases come in between . And also its a fact that most of the tests done have their on risks and benefits  .  Here is the issue .

We have a life where there is no guarantee of the next moment (even when travelling as a pedestrian on road ) or even sleeping in our bed at night (earthquakes etc .. ) but whenever people undergo a treatment or a test they expect 100 percent results (its foolish but thats how it is ) . The really wise accept the risks and go ahead seeing the bigger picture of life but many dont . The really wise also read a lot and also realises the limitations of humans when doing treatment on another human and also makes informed decisions

But mostly i am apalled at the levels of knowledge of highly vocal people who are excellent in their careers (often in the scientific domain ) but have rudimentary knowledge of medical science which these days even a kid can get from google .And other than a cursory search they dont read about this subject which is a manual of the only "machine " they really own --- their body  .   Doctors know from day one that they are not dealing with a subject where all the possibilities are known (because the body is not designed by them )  . And even after spending millions of dollars on drug research all sideeffects are not known because thats the way of science . (even basic laws of physics have changed in many cases over the years )  .

                                                                          Since i am not giving away any shortcuts to knowledge when all have access to the internet a brief discussion on CT scans is relevant as an example . In olden times many lives were lost after accidents as doctors could only diagnose a head injury by external symptoms and often by the time patient starts getting worse it was often late for surgery . The CT scan test in a few seconds could diagnose the brain bleed and help to diagnose this early and saves lot of lives . But its a procedure involving radiation . And before anyone gets hyper on radiation we should realise that radiation is a thing we are all exposed to even when we are in our house or outside  ( from radioactive gases in air , cosmic rays etc ). But CT scans do deliver a  radiation dose . So now what is the choice .... Should we do the test to save the life or dont do it because of radiation risk . This is where risk versus benefit comes in .  Just like walking on the road the possibility of reaching safely is much greater than dying in an accident . Similarly the benefits of Ct scans outweigh the risks depending on the patients condition . This risk -benefit ratio is a complicated subject but the general recommendations are clear in medical sites for patients (by reputed instituitions )  .

Why it is or not followed in a given case depends on many factors especially in our society especially since these days at least a part of medical care is determined by patient demand in a consumerist culture .There are patients who demand a CT scan , there are patients who cannot wait till morning for observation of head injury and a host of other reasons . Further complicating things is the kickback or corruption indulged by some doctors (coming from the same consumerist culture these days )  in ordering CT scans.

Medical profession is one built on trust and knowledge(with all the limitations ) . And in the best interests of the patient and the doctors it would be best that patients start learning about medical science in the same way as the good doctors (there still are many )  realising that humility and knowledge goes hand in hand .. Not arguments which till this date i have seen only from people with the least knowledge ...

PS : I will definitely comeback with the kickbacks which complicate medicine practice in another blog but this blog is directed at patients who should make informed decisions especially in this internet era and shouldnt say " I didnt know " and try to blame the person who is between God and U . Even as a doctor i respect the good doctors and find its the noblest profession and WE as a soceity has commercialised the profession  ..(thats also a blog this week )  ...

Comments please ......

Disclaimer : this is not medical advice .. 

utility value ...on bicycles and choices

                                                    In my tenth standard my dad presented me with a BSA SLR bicycle . It was in my favourite colour black , sporty in its looks and very comfortable to ride . But even at that time of limited choices ( this was the prehistoric 20 th century )  there were three main choices . One was the large bicycle hercules  extremely sturdy and strong and could easily carry two people or heavy luggage . Then there was BSA Mach 1 the bicycle with racing handle where you have to be in  racing position to ride it always and with thin racing tyres to give that extra speed . Then there was the BSA SLR which had sporty looks , above average speed (why these guys always are into this speed and acceleration thing :) )  .
Not only because it was a gift by my dad i was also extremely happy with my bicycle . But being human i "occassionally " envied the few classmates who came in a Mach 1 BSA the racing bicycle .

Fast forward many many years . Recently i rode a racing cycle on the road(not my own ) . Actually i went shopping on it . It was not a Mach 1 (i think BSA has stopped Mach 1s long back ) but one with 20 + gears and imported . It was fine as soon as i went in the road people stared at it as it was extremely sporty and the looks itself showed it was built for speed . After checking the acceleration soon it was time to pedal in a relaxed way and do away with the racing position ( not very comfortable for a long ride ) . And then it hit me . The brakes are available only in the racing position else its a juggle each time you have to brake . Then the second thing .. No bell . The third thing .. No sidestand for parking ..List was endless the thin tyres costing almost as  a motorcycle tyre will not tolerate the unexpected gutters .  And the last thing was no mudguard . Imagine in the rain on a muddy road .

To tell the truth the acceleration on the open road was great . But the rest of the journey was quite difficult .
And this racing cycle was a "road variant " of a racing cycle like our good old Mach 1 of yesteryear .

                                                                  For a long time i choose my gadgets looking into their utility value and my personality . Of course they have to be sporty , reasonable value for money , high in specifications which i can fully utilise in my day to day life . Like in everything the middle path of choices may be the best choice .. at least it has been for me ...

PS :  Dont cancel your Rolls Royce or Jaguar order in kerala especially .. I love those cars but look where you are going to drive it too ... Or maybe i am jealous :)  

enjoying the moment --music

                                                               

                                                           Long ago during my school days we looked forward to the friday last period . During that time the talented ones used to present mimicry , monoact or even quiz programs for the entertainment of the class .There was no prize for any of these events . For a million dollar i cannot do mimicry ,neither could i conduct a quiz program . Being an audience was ok but every friday i felt like i should also do something .  I had done speeches for competitions with shaking knees but in an all boys school in the entertainment hour no one is in mood for a speech that too a shaky speech ..( threshold for howling is rather low too )  .

And then one day it happened . I gave my name for singing . Not that i was a great singer but having sang along my favourite malayalam songs at home (not in the bathroom :) )  i thought why not sing it in front of the whole class . No accompaniment is a challenge without any guitar or drums . But i went for it . I faced the class and started humming and soon the words started flowing in the tune of the song i had heard and sang along n number of times . I still remember the moment when i was immersed in my song oblivious of the surroundings . There was no target prize , not even the recognition of my classmates . Those 5 minutes only the music mattered and i could realise that expression was evident to my classmates .  What i was not expecting was the applause from my classmates and many of them told me they enjoyed it so much especially they felt so much into the music . I also got paper written with words of appreciation from some .
Over the years though not a "singer " i have sang on stages with accompaniment and also in family gatherings . And before that incident i had took part in umpteen number of stage competitions of light music , poem recital etc  .. But i think that particular friday i realised that its not the prize or not even the applause that was the most important but immersing yourself in the moment and enjoying it yourself.... the moment

And i think on that day my trembling knees disappeared on stage .  The song btw was Mizhiyoram from  movie Manjil virinja pookkal ( flowers which blossomed in the snow ) a beautiful piece of music .. Check youtube ..

kerala tourism some more places

                                                        I sometimes feel i should be banned from travelling outside my beautiful state . Because inspite of being a keralite i have still not finished seeing all the nice places in kerala . Each time i am in my homestate i realise that ...

Just a few months back on a lazy afternoon my cousin suggested we make a bike trip in a royal enfield to an elephant sanctuary . This was at trivandrum and i was surprised that such a place even existed near trivandrum having gone to places like kovalam beach and ponmudi hills n number of times . In a red thunderbird we went out and there it was quite close to trivandrum there was an elephant sanctuary surrounded by forest and a lake near kattakkada .  We saw baby elephants rescued from a mountain stream , wild elephant training place where it is converted into "non-wild "elephant . We had elephant back rides and there was even facility to feed elephant for a small fee .  The point is kerala has at least two elephant sanctauries one at kodanad and another near trivandrum .

Then there is Ravi Karunakaran Museum the worlds largest private collection of Swaroski crystals .  To tell the truth i am not a big art connoisseur ,But i was spellbound by the magnificient collection of swarowski crystals in beautiful colours and they told me some are costing more than 3 lakh a piece . The museum has hundreds of these some of them rare and exclusive to them . In addition the museum has an ivory collection and kerala antique collection . All this worth more than 20 crores + belongs to one family . The museum is at alleppey .

Kerala is full of beautiful beaches but i like especially the thalassery beach , the poovar beach and alleppey beach and kovalam beach . Of these the poovar beach is a little secluded and has rocks which gives it a scenic beauty . Maybe because i am a mountain person i like this combination but im sure you will like it too especially since its far from the maddening crowd unlike the busy beach of shankumukhom in trivandrum .

And yes i forgot ... travel north and go with the history textbook in your mind and you will step into the place where the first European set foot on india . Yes , Vasco da gama landed at Kappad beach north of calicut . If you are a history fan its a must visit but dont expect to see anything spectacular there other than a small monument marking the event . And of course have a coffee at the nearby hotel . I liked the place maybe because i am a history fan ..

There are countless other places in kerala i am yet to explore .....I am not paid a penny to market kerala tourism ( i swear :) )  but i think for 1/10 th of the cost of a european tour you can take back enough memories visiting kerala ... Or for people like me 1 litre of petrol on a enfield bike ... Welcome to Gods own country  ...

Bhagat Singh and marriage ...

I always admired Bhagat Singh .  If you think he used violence to try to get indias freedom and lost his life in the process thats just part of the story  .

He was a young man with real guts and a vision and opinion which we dont find even in 60 year olds . He was in his early 20s and he had clear ideas about so  many things including about religion , society etc .  But this internet historian was shocked when he even had an opinion on marriage .

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/bhagat-singh-had-called-marriage-without-equality-a-legal-form-of-prostitution/425051-3.html

On death row he had wrote a 400 + diary and in it he had wrote on so many things and one of them is about marriage "without equality " being a legal form of prostitution .Coming to think of it wasnt this young man right even in this .Havent you seen marriages where the woman in the family is doing the role of a maid and called a wife and the husband who is chosen for his financial capacity maintains her as the domestic help cum babysitter  .

  When our soceity even to this day condemns the poor prostitutes who sell themselves for surviving ,the double standards are evident when many of marriages are financial transactions in the name of love . Son -in laws who get bought with a huge dowry  ,  daughters who get physically abused and made to work in kitchen , loveless marriages which are sometimes existent because the monetary benefit keeps them going all make you think . And decades after bhagat singhs death in soceity at least in contemporary kerala these things are still existent .

Career satisfaction and marital satisfaction are two things which we cant know from outside as you all will agree . . And as soceity let us promote healthy marriages instead of what bhagat singh in his 20s talked about  ...

PS : With economic freedom of women things are definitely seeing a sea change (i hope ) but still considering the lakhs and crores involved in  modern marriages i still think theres some relevance for the article in ibnlive .

child abuse laws and decreasing marriage age

       http://www.mangalam.com/opinion/98928

         

                                As our soceity is trying to be more civilised we are trying to do our best to protect the rights of women as well as building up a healthy soceity .

Even for fixing marriageable age there are many reasons which are logical . In progressive soceities the marriage age is increasing and the increasing physical and emotional maturity that it brings is well documented  . Even the age of 18 is quite low for an emotionally mature relationship  . Of course to get a fat dowry and use the girl as an object of sexual desire 18 is an appropriate age .  But considering that these same girls are pressured to have a baby in one year as if its a marathon places extra mortality risks as well as a child who is borne into an emotionally immature parent  .

It is in this setup that a group of people (of course of the male sex) are trying to reduce the marriage age.
Logically thinking i dont know to what age they want to reduce the age and for what ?  Firstly its well known that a teenager is in many ways resemble a child and in no way can be mature enough for marriage . For getting their carnal desires satisfied teenage marriage is an excellent method especially as hormones as higher but is it in favour of the girl . Especially when india is trying hard to better the sex ratios , the dowry harassment issues etc etc isnt it barbaric to go back to the dark ages .

Anyway when religion these days is mostly misrepresented for vested interests our only hope is the "parrots " as mentioned in the article rising up and telling the tormentors that their days are over  .  Other option is get married as a child and cook for your modern  knight in shining armour and bear his children from early teenage onwards .

Your worth and pride

                                             

  Today was watching an interview of John Abraham on Mazhavil Manorama channel . Throughout the interview what fascinated me was the way he handled the interview in an very simple manner just like an ordinary person being asked questions . Since he is from bollywood i expected at least a minimum of the "make believe drama " but i could fine none . Even the malayali pride was amiss given his malayali roots .  (his father is from kerala ) . And for skeptics who may still think he is acting simple for the interview i have heard from close sources(when i was in mumbai )  that they are quite simple as a family.
And the icing in the cake was the answer for what he was looking in future spouse....the girl should be simple ..See the interview its very nice

I have met a handful of people who are worth crores in assets , extremely well qualified and very down to earth . I have blogged on some of them one in his 70s another in his early 40s . But the latest addition is a young lady in her 20s .. Extremely well qualified and a heiress to a 200 crore empire (no exaggeration )  i was surprised at how she carried herself . Each time speaking to her i cannot imagine how she can be so down to earth because 20s is not the age when true wisdom makes you understand that pride is a sign of insecurity .

Speaking of pride over time i have observed a few things :

The really wise and really educated people (especially who came up by their merit ) are quite humble . (eg: former President Abdul Kalam )

The quick rich people are usually but not always shows off their pride in material goods

Most of the rest who show pride have some source of deep insecurity . For example they may have crores in assets but may be 10 th standard fail . Not that it matters but this insecurity manifests itself as false pride .

                                                                      And lastly in  major religions its clearly written that pride is a major sin . So let us be humble .....

PS : Driving around in a BMW is not pride but driving in a maruti with attitude is pride :) and i have seen many of the latter types . Hence the blog ...

Immanuel movie and some little thoughts

Some time back many years ago i was sad as a movie buff . Malayalam movies of the 80s had finished off all the film plots that there were no more plots left for future movies . And the "masala "movies were getting so predicatble that i stopped watching malayalam movies . Then came the new age movies like beautiful , 22 female kottayam , diamond necklace etc which made malayalam movie watching a joy again ..

Coming to Immanuel or Emmanuel (some spoilers ahead )the malayalam movie by Lal jose starring Mammootty and Fahad Fasil is another movie which is away from the "masala genre " . The films plot centres around the protogonist an ordinary man named Immanuel played by Mammootty who loses his job in a small time publishing house as the owner had to leave due to mounting debts . But before he left he gives him a reference to a new age insurance firm . So our hero joins there and works hard among a bunch of youngsters . (Mammootty was always classified as a youngster btw:))  But soon he is in frequent ethical delimmas. The  new age tactics of focussing on profits and excel sheets and compromising on well being of customers and ethics gets to him and he is torn between earning his daily bread through hard work and the ruthless methods of insurance world. The plot is not extraordinary and the acting is quite down to earth not only of Mammootty but also fahad fasil . I am surprised at there is no dearth of roles for Fahad Fasil in new age movies depicting narcissists and people who would do anything to rise up for material gains  .

Like diamond necklace this movie is quite realistic and thats the beauty of it .  Some tempo is lacking but can be excused as the movie is more realistic and reality never goes in fast forward .

Lastly hmmm... being an ardent reader of finance magazines for last 3 years ( though poor )  i am always surprised at how even the smartest people are outsmarted by insurance agents . From the telemarketing insurance salesman who picks up the time when we are most engaged in our job and disturbs without asking permission to the extremely well dressed manager who fixes up the appointment and tries to hardsell a policy by playing on our lack of knowledge i often think why certain jobs exist  . Unless you choose Immanuel as your insurance agent .

My rating of  movie 7 /10  

my "american " friend

                                                                 I have been to China and though there were many interesting things one important thing was missing . Facebook . By policy facebook is banned in China . I was ok with it as they were clear about it as freedom of expression is limited by policy in china .

                                                            Four years back my friend ( i have many friends in Europe , the arab world and US) from US called long distance . That call lasted for almost an hour . He was telling me about starting a diagnostic setup in kerala and because he was a little out of date i told him clearly that his idea is good but we are using the latest equipments here at par with USA . Anyway being the ideaman he was he was thrilled about the initial nitty gritty of starting a high end multimodality radiology setup in kerala . I finally asked him whats the actual reason as he has gone with great hopes to USA . He briefly told me that his further appointments in US didnt take place so he thought of why stick around there while great opportunity was back at home .  These long distance calls was there for a few days .  Then after a week or two there was a brief call .

It was ok if he had told me that after a struggle he got the further appointment of his US radiology course or post . But i was shocked that this person turned 180 degrees and was telling all that is wrong in india in radiology . Agreed healthcare including radiology is not perfect in india but 90 percent of what he was telling was plain wrong . Since it was only a few years since he left india i could only surmise that this person has learnt to be a hypocrite after reaching the other side of the earth .

Then there was my senior last year who was telling so much about his golf course membership and some private jetliner in USA that i almost believed it . Only thing is this senior we could never imagine holding a golf club even if Tiger woods was the coach . And he was chatting so much about golf and the other material benefits that i was thinking how a bookworm (he was literally that ) could change into Tiger woods after crossing to USA .

Definitely most of my friends are not like these two examples but something is there in the culture there which emphasises the values especially hypocrisy and materialism .  A casual search of internet itself will reveal USA has more issues with crime , racism , etc etc ... Not that other nations are better but USA is supposed to be the best with the most resources in the world be it technology wise , finance wise and even principle wise ( democracy , fundamental rights etc etc )  .

The point is the whole world looks upto the USA as in technology etc etc it leads (no doubt about that )  . But its sad that the nation which cant even keep its cities reasonably safe from crime ( they call it inner cities) is trying to become the international policeman .....And we all have seen what was the efficiency of the relief work when hurricanes struck in poorer neighbourhoods ..

And lastly though you may not believe it i am not anti-american . For me America represents the great presidents like Lincoln who stood for what they believed in and people like Martin luther King Jr and the american civilians who protested the vietnam war ..Not the war hungry governments who are hypocritical and some of my "friends " ( a minority ) who become hypocrites the moment they land in US shores .

Would appreciate feedback ..

PS : Many of my good friends and one of my best friend is in US ,.. This is not about  you  ...But i had to write this blog sooner or later because of these two incidents and also about the multiple inputs from different sources about USA .

Thank you teacher -- teachers day

Today morning woke up with an sms in which someone had written extensively thanking me in detail for being her teacher . Though not a great follower of pleasantries the genuineness of the message and the sincere appreciation helped me realise once again the unique joys of being in one of the helping professions .
--teaching .

Teaching is not only about teaching a subject .As any good teacher knows its making the student rise upto his full potential . And in that process both the teacher and student grows . Yes how many times we have been prompted to think when the intelligent student asks a curious question prompting us to learn further as a teacher . Looking back i still remember a few teachers who shaped me .

The first one was a nun  when i was 5 years old .  And surprisingly when i remember her i remember the smell of fresh watercolour paint and the flower for though highly academic she taught me drawing and painting . I learnt the lessons of looking at the world around , enjoying individual talents etc at that age .  And she used to smile a lot  ...

Then the teacher who was friendly but strict in my fourth standard and at that age i didnt understand that she was tough to me to make me better .  She was my classteacher and strict though friendly . When i became a teacher i realised her value ..

Then there was my mentor and teacher in postgraduation who went beyond his duties and became a personal friend and mentor .

Each of you will have a few teachers who have made a real difference in your lives .  Cherish them and a select few be a teacher as its one of the few professions where you can see a flower grow and blossom .
And for people like me that satisfaction comes before money (i do get paid too btw:) )

Happy teachers day ..

good old days Onam

                                              From sushi to steak this foodie eats all the food in the world .. But surprisingly one of my favourite food is Sambar the pure vegeterian curry . And of course as in everything its origin is in my childhood ....

In both my maternal and paternal family we made excellent food but once an year (not that we didnt visit otherwise ) we used to get specially invited to our neighbours house in perumbavoor . It was a hindu family and there it was the beautiful pookkalam (made of freshly plucked flowers ) , the muthappan (made of clay ) and my aunts favourite friend and her family smiling with sandalwood paste on their forehead . Of course in this festive occasion the sumptuous meal had the tastiest sambar i have ever tasted in my life . It was not only because my tastebuds were growing at that time ( maybe 7 years ? ) but main reason was the food was given with the greatest love by these friendly neighbour . In those days there was no television to advertise onam ( for getting people to buy expensive dresses or jewellery ) and no ready made onam kit .  Not that these are not ok but nothing beats the smell of fresh flowers, the totally free atmosphere (no mobile calls to attend )  , the interreligious unity .

For once i feel i could go there and have that Onam celebration decades back .... And yes though i love the internet and mobile phone of modern day at least in Onam i do prefer the good old days in everyway  ...

Happy Onam in advance 

Crying father and doctor --- Syria

                                                              Was seeing the footage on tv today of the chemical attack in Syria . A father hugging his two daughters with no visible injury and crying loudly in arabic .  Soon he had to move away as both of the kids were dead . It is always the case where death is more gruesome when the bodies are so lifelike ....victims of chemical attack ..

Then they were showing the footage of a young doctor who was doing relief work and in between gave a brief interview to the reporters . Later he was crying too for just after the attack when his colleagues went into the area of attack some of them died because they didnt know initially that it was a chemical attack .

                                                               Like in everything the gruesome attack raises questions on who did it with the speculations as ever . And the US is planning to attack syria too .  With the largest stockpile of weapons in the world its not surprising of this move from USA. In the channel they were mentioning that US attacked Iraq also in the guise that they had stockpiled chemical weapons .

I dont know whether US intervention will decrease or increase the bloodbath but as a casual observer one thing is clear . US interests in this region is not humanitarian because we seldom hear of US intervention in impoverished african countries which have horrible atrocities in civil wars .  So i think oil , oil pricing etc is a key interest in these interventions .

Typical of developed economies US has lots of internal problems ( healthcare inequality , crime rate etc ) its high time that US intervenes more as a big brother than an international policeman .  With infinite access to diplomacy , the sanctions method , UN is it only by an aggressive military intervention that US can help the west asian region .

Any way in the days to come probably we will see more children dying on television . And again i am thinking aloud can the american public prevent these actions by widespread protests especially since its well known that many of the returning soldiers from these wars like vietnam , iraq etc come back with post traumatic stress disorder which destroys their lives and their families . Also even many people think that Israel (backed by US as always ) is behind chemical attacks .  Anyway the end result is fathers who lose their daughters and doctors who lose their colleagues in preventable tragedies ...

Now you know why i prefer animal planet or discovery channel or the movie channel . Not that i cant watch people dying but i think many are preventable and man is more cruel than all animals .  Even lions which kill the little ones when they take over a new pride pale in comparison because we are more intelligent than them . Or is it ?

Becoming an idiot :)

If you felt that i am gradually becoming an idiot and peeped into this blog post you are wrong . I am already an idiot :)  .... The point is for last few days i am hooked to the idiot box and naturally one who is hooked to it  has to be an idiot .  But lets see what the idiot box has to offer you these days .  I am talking of course about the television .

Though a movie buff i had only heard about alfred hitchcock and his short movies or plays or episodes which are airing these days in television is so classy that i think how he could do that more than 50 years back . The innovative style of presenting , the excellent screenplay and the twist all make it a must watch .  Programs like CSI miami has got enough brains behind it that i think whether they are doing real crime scene investigation or not with the realistic forensic scenes and believable courtroom  scenes.  And just last week saw another channel which shows court scenes where Jehovahs witness who receieved blood and sued was played . All very believable and really well taken  .  

And of course my all time favourites the discovery , nat geo and animal planet (where i got my animal instincts :)  )  i still do watch .  And the movies the english ( Rambo . Bruce lee and schwazzenegger included ) and the malayalam ones all pure fiction but has got enough to make me blog about some of them before (check the movie review section ) . 

All in all either i am hibernating after my days work or i am becoming an idiot ... You decide :)  Anyway i am enjoying it