First is an article i read on outlook money about women and money . In that magazine usually dealing with the stocks , investments etc there was an article by a world famous financial analyst on women and money . In her interview she was discussing more about relationships and how after marriages many women even in the developed world have women being given household budgeting responsibility while the man takes care of the major financial decisions . She was telling that in an equal relationship that was a very unequal way . Also the concept of the housewife "asking " for money from her spouse again in a supposed to be equal relationship . This is further complicated by the fact that stay at home moms do so much work which is not only limited to taking care of children .
Second is an article i read in psychology today which explained the relation between las vegas and abusive relationships . It explains why many women and men stay in abusive relationships . In a gambling machine no one stays for long if always u get negative result . But if u get one positive result like winning a large amount of money once in a while you continue gambling .. In the same way one reason of people staying in abusive relationships is when they get intermittent positive reinforcement . Even if the overall trend is negative the intermittent rewards make them believe that all will be well in future and stick on with the relationship . The article says we should look at the overall trend .
Should you be aware of what your husband/wife does in his sparetime ? Yes and no .. There should be adequate personal space in marriages so that the marriage is healthy . But anything the husband or wife does that affects the relationship is a big NO . Even though i am against over religiosity and its rituals i do admire the pious people who are humble and do the rituals and lead a good life and still remain religious . I have seen some like that . Recently one of them was missing from work for a long time . It was known for long that she supported the family inspite of the husband who didnt look after her but spend the day gambling . Not a rare phenomenon of irresponsible husbands who live off their wives . Marriage is sacrosanct ..But he had an additional habit which impacted not only their relationship but her very life . He wanted to enjoy life more and started mainlining or intravenous drug abuse with his gambling company . It was not known whether it was complicated by womanising .
One fine day the pious woman had infection which was not coming down and tests showed she had hiv . And the husband also tested hiv positive . Luckily children were negative . She escaped death so far and probably is getting antiretroviral treatment but this was one gift which her husband could have avoided inspite of his irresponsibility towards family .
Without being sexist , i know women who have husbands who are womanisers . Of course this is deeply unethical considering that most marriages are based on trust and in the west also except cases of polyamory(refer net pls ) by mutual consent infedility is taboo . But these days its high time that people look at not only the emotional impact of extramarital liasons but also the medical angle . I hope no one wants gifts of HIV from selfish hobbies of a partner especially when one is in a committed relationship .. Or is there difference of opinion there too .. with the usual excuses of staying in abusive relationships ..
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