empathy

You like falooda ?  I do  . Now imagine while you are visiting a house you are offered falooda . Like me you will be very happy . Now imagine in the same house a diabetic visits whose sugar values are very high . He offered him falooda and next day the diabetic landed in hospital with diabetic coma . Unfortunate  and could have been avoided .  How ? Ask him what he wants instead of giving him  what "you " like .   Of course you may tell me i like him so much  thats why I offered him "my " favourite food .

And though a foodie hopefully you must be knowing where i am heading at  . Its a thing called "empathy " .
Empathy is the capacity to recognize feelings that are being experienced by another human being . Just like each human beings needs and wants are unique one mans medicine is another mans poison .  In our day to day interactions frankly how many times we empathize with other persons?  The capacity to empathise  is variable between individuals but isnt it a quality which we should all cultivate to some degree  ?

I have observed on numerous incidents around that most of the significant problems between people is due to lack of empathy .  At least for some people this lack of empathy is a conscious thing  -- they are too selfish about themselves that they consciously dont empathise with others or their feelings  .  But at least some i have observed that they dont know what impact their behaviour is having on other people .  Its here that cultivating a little empathy will go a long way towards making a closer relationship with others .  And those who are in close relationships know very well that  its this empathy factor and trust that is the basis of real close relationships be it wife , friend , lover , parent etc etc .

Going further let me narrate a small story : There was a little boy who wanted to buy a puppy . He went to the person who sells puppies and to his amazement took out a limping puppy among a litter of 7 puppies . The curious pet owner told him why you are taking this limping lame puppy which cannot even run and play with you  .  The boy smiled and showed his leg with the scar  where a surgeon has put a rod inside his leg for an old fracture . He replied " I understand his pain because i am also  like that  "  and took the lame puppy .

You dont have to be lame to feel for the lame puppy but a little thoughtfulness will help understand others .
Especially in close friendships the intimacy level increases when the person feels that the other person is understanding him instead of imposing his value system on him/her .

And to the reader (if he had the patience to read so far  )  i have a question :  what can you do to a relationship in which someone feeds falooda consciously  each time inspite of  the person telling many times that he is a severe diabetic  ?? You must be knowing the type who doesnt listen to you properly and tells insensitive comments in addition .. Is it great love / ignorance or plain arrogance ?  And what if that relationship is with someone  which cant be severed ?

Till my next blog try to be more empathetic and see the results (of course making sure some people dont misuse your greater empathy  ) . And please answer this vethaals above question  (he asks questions to vikramaditya in indian mythology)