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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

the airhostess on her knees .... personality disorders

                                                     In all my 6 years of flying at 35000 feet only once i have seen an airhostess on her knees .  Nope she wasnt cleaning any spilt orange juice or checking the lights on the walking path . But the poor girl was apologizing to a passenger for a terrible crime she committed . Apparently she failed to hear a request for water and gave it after a few minutes delay . She was berated for a long time for this "crime " by this middle aged lady . I would have not thought about this further had i not seen this lady from the time of check-in . She had quarrelled with the check in person , even a fellow passenger during the walk towards the aircraft . Having been in  professions  of both medical and teaching for more than a decade and years of reading psychology it was a high probability that this lady was having a personality disorder .

Last month on one of the occasions when i boarded a crowded bus in kerala where people where trying their best to adjust to the rush without quarrelling for space . Unfortunately a lady took the back door and entered the bus . She was ok but suddenly there was terror in her eyes . She was berated in front of the entire crowd for taking the back door . This was not saudi arabia with gender codes and religious police but a conductor of the bus shouting at the top of his voice , ridiculing her . In the end she went out of the bus . Again i observed the man the conductor . Instead of becoming calm he was quarrelling with every other passenger for some silly thing . I thought he will go scot free but after an hour i saw the conductor running from the bus . Apparently someone had laid his hand when he reached the front of the bus .

Human behaviour is complex , interesting and sometimes challenging . No wonder  psychology is an interesting subject and those in professions which deal with people a working knowledge of psychology will help a lot .

Coming back to personality disorders , you have seen them all . As long as you have interacted with fellow beings you must have observed that some people are unlike others . They enter into conflict for the silliest of reasons , perpetually blame others and some of them lack empathy for others . It may surprise you that some of these high conflict personalities are having a mental illness called personality disorders . The extremes of this group commit violent crimes like murder but most of them have charming personalities , have a good job and many are married too . But the people who are in contact with them often suffer immensely be it in professional or personal sphere . Since most people do not have a working knowledge of psychology (surprisingly an hour on google will give lots of info) they go through life suffering without knowing . Though psychopaths and Antisocial personality disorder is the extreme form there are personality disorders like Narcissistic personality disorder , Borderline personality disorder which are equally devastating to the people who interact with them . Refer each of them on google and sometimes it could save your life ..

The prevalence of personality disorders is at least 9 percent or more so that at least 1 in 10 have the disorder http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/science-news/2007/national-survey-tracks-prevalence-of-personality-disorders-in-us-population.shtml. And unlike other mental illnesses they dont look crazy or may not even look anxious or depressed . But these are real disorders clearly mentioned in medical literature but found among your friends , colleagues , spouses and even parents . And though the origins of these disorders are unknown  it is thought to be  due to a combination of genetics and bad childhood experiences (research is going on  ) often not always their families have some degree of dysfunction .

 http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/understanding/             has some information regarding this in addition google.com can provide lots of links . This is a complex  topic but am writing this as i have seen in many case people (not only the airhostess) who doesnt have a clue when dealing with such people who though having a known mental illness due to lack of insight doesnt seek treatment . And as in everything from common cold to cancer knowledge always helps in dealing with it ..

PS :    this is not medical or psychological advice . Just my reading and observation and you too the reader can read and observe and send me your comments .                                                  
                                                                       



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