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Sunday, January 26, 2014

Sunanda pushkar my three little thoughts

                                                              I am late on blogging about her . Call it limited net access but at least in part it was because of my shock and grief . Though i dont have political affliations i liked Shashi Tharoor inspite of the controversies because i felt he represented the new face of indian politics ...the educated politician . And when the guy loved and later married Sunanda pushkar i was happy .Somehow i liked the couple very much and took it as a public symbol of romance and its culmination . I was not following the tweets but suddenly one day the news of her death and that too in a particular unnatural manner came when i visited mumbai . Only they (the Tharoors ) , not even her brother or son knows whether their romance was alive at the time of her death . For a person who read Napoleons letters to Josephine and the british king who gave up his kingdom for the sake of love the end of a romance in this manner was indeed causing grief .

But more importantly the amateur psychologist/philosopher  in me was worried due to some things . Sunanda Pushkar was known as a social butterfly and the life of parties . The last two days prior to her death she was literally confined to a 7 star hotel with no visitors ( CCTV records ) and not having food . Obviously she was depressed . What is the use of being a social butterfly if during your hour of emotional need you have nobody . ?  Of course there may be personality factors as well as the hypocrisies of high soceity which is responsible but still its a striking contrast when you have 100+ "friends " but still have nobody at the time of emotional crisis .  And here the amateur psychologist in me takes over and says that this paradox has been played out in lives of numerous celebrities as well as many common people . And the only solution is being true to yourself and cultivating and maintaining close confiding relationships which are separate from the "friends " you have just to chill out . Also taking care of  "oneself " and realising the limitations of the relationships with others which have varying degrees of conditionality . And lastly as has been the case of a few celebrity examples keep as much as possible the private life away from public life . We still do  not know for certain whether its a suicide or murder but assuming its a suicide , celebrity or non celebrity , we should take care of our mental and emotional health and get help when needed. Having blogged earlier on this topic  and having read on this topic there are lot of myths surrounding this science of suicidology and in this internet age it would be at this juncture would be worthwhile to just learn about this topic from scientific articles on google and prevent as much as possible an important cause of untimely death .

Lastly , the third little thought , is from the forensic interested person within me . Is it a suicide or murder ?
Testimonies of her brother and son etc is of secondary importance only . For two days she was showing classic signs of depression and death was in an environment where no sane person will commit murder .(starting with CCTV footage etc ) . But the injuries on her body and even a bite mark makes the death complicated . Pending the toxicology report i still believe that the cause of death is suicide considering the circumtances and psychological profile of her and the antemortem injuries point to some physical violence which has some bearing on her suicide but not the cause of death . Just my speculation . Awaiting further news .

                                                Be it Jiah Khan(blogged earlier ) or sunanda Pushkar its not the sympathy or public outcry and media speculations that are important . What is truly important is using these paradoxes(from 7 star hotel to autopsy table in hours )   to realise that never dip too much into materialism and the "soceity " but take care of yourself , your emotional health and get help when needed without hesitation . Life is definitely not a fairy tale but such ends are not warranted inspite of breakups in relationships . This blog is dedicated to Sunanda Pushkar at the same time NOT dedicated to suicide which is a preventable malady in most cases .  

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