a girl and a house ...

Long ago I was going on an arranged date with a girl in Mumbai  .  Arranged date meaning a potential arranged marriage  but date in the sense that we could go out for a one to one meeting so that  we could know each other better .  Though a malayali by origin this girl was born and brought up in Mumbai .Each time  when the topic of settling in kerala was brought up she stared at me as if I asked her to settle in sahara desert . Being used to the beautiful gods own country  I was surprised why she was staring like that  .. I asked her  why  she didn’t like settling in the paradise on earth  . Then she told me something about my beloved malayalis which  is true even to this day  though it’s a generalization .  They  interfere in other peoples affairs , pass negative comments on your face and also behind your back  and even decide when your child should  be born  ..Usually quick to defend anything ( I should have been a lawyerJ  )  in this aspect  even to this day  I cannot argue for the people of my state  as what she told is very true .  And this is not a random observation by a random girl but the same has been told by countless people to me as well as by my personal observation and experience . 

Recently one of my friend of friends put up his houses picture a beautiful house which he constructed with his hard earned money  . He came from a background where he built up his wealth by hardwork and was very proud of this achievement  .  The first comment on the social network forum when he put up his houses picture was a negative comment saying he has false vanity in putting up the picture .  Unfortunately the commenter discounted his intelligence which gave a fitting reply to this negative comment  . He replied to her (who happened to be a beautiful woman ) that  the house which he built by his hardwork is something he can be always proud of  while beauty which she had is something not to be proud of since she just inherited it from parents genes . And a detailed explanation of how such negative remarks is not civil  especially in social forums  .  And you guessed it right  .. both are from Gods own country  ..

I have  stayed extensively  outside the  state  and even the country  and  has been approached occasionally by single women ..  But  only twice I  was approached by  married women   and both of the approaches happened in this highly moral state of all the places on earth  .  Luckily  my  sense of morality  is very clear  that  I  find it  immoral  to have an extramarital affair  because that amounts to cheating  .Maybe it was random but i think why these approaches happened mainly in kerala where compared to other states we are supposed to be extremely moral  .

  I  can go on and on about  many kerala experiences . Some unemployed people asking about  the finer aspects of my career in a negative sense(when they have no career on their own)   ,  about why I  walk this way  , why I smile or do not smile  all  these things happen much more commonly  in kerala than any place  I have visited  .  Years  of experience in dealing has made me  really tough  and even amused by these half intelligent remarks  . 

But  still  I  wonder  why  our  people  peep into others houses when their house is on fire (  which often is )  …. Am I irritating by this blog  ?  Sorry , that’s also a malayali trait  . 

Afterword :  Most of the internet savvy  people of kerala  do not  represent the above people  .  Also its not about everyone  in kerala . But I find  kerala has above average share of the above traits  compared to people of other states.  And lastly  I do not  expect a miraculous change by my blogging .  But  I think  it  will help at least some people  in the receiving end  that  theres nothing wrong with them  and  also for the  bold ones  to  talk back  to the  perpetrators of this crime of putting down other people and  judging others  .