Foreword : I am happy with most of my relatives . This blog is not about the vast majority of them especially when i have found them exceeding my expectations in love and even non judgemental nature . This blog is dedicated to my close friend who taught me how bad relatives can be and also many others who told from their experience that blood is not always thicker than water ..
Inspite of going nuclear at least in india many of us have close ties with the extended family . Having lived for a few years in joint family and also nuclear family and also having stayed with close relatives i know very well the joys of relatives . And some of them have treated me like their son (its a great feeling ) . When i went to mumbai i saw other families at close quarters and realised that in many families certain individuals are really unselfish in that they are so loving that they treat their kin (brothers cousins nephews etc ) so well that we doubt where is the "nuclearisation " of the 21 st century . I would classify these wonderful human beings as the good relatives . Just like the wildbuffalo herd in animal planet ( pls bear with my animal planet examples ) whatever the external stresses these individuals make sure that the family feels secure from all threats .
Maybe the increasing privacy of 21st century or the materialism if we classify relatives of most people (i am making a wild guess here ) the majority of relatives are neither good nor ugly . They are neutral . Neutral in the sense that they are there friendly and for an occasional visit but are really "not there " for you when you are in real need . I have no complaints in that because as humans we cannot gel with every soul we come across especially when materialism and competition makes "I " more important than "We " . Only thing is it would be wise if we realise who are our neutral relatives so that they are neither overtaxed or underutilised in your matters . Whenever you feel a need for deep emotional love and bonding or feel like giving deep emotional love it would be wise if you go to the good category than the neutral category of relatives .
Lastly the ugly category of relatives . Its also a minority luckily . But it is very important that such category is identified and dealt with accordingly . All families do have such individuals . But if you are not careful in assessing your relatives this minority category has a habit of making you very pessimistic about blood relations . Its not rocket science to recognise them . They look just like everyone . But whenever a rumour is spread about you if you take a little time in checking the source often it points to these individuals . Its not surprising that the same individuals are implicated in rumour spreading not only about you but many others in the family . This is one category of the ugly ones : hyaena of animal planet comes into my mind .
There is also a category of these ugly relatives who behave exactly like the hyaena . Hyaenas attack only when you are weak . They are ok and friendly with you even extra friendly when your going is good . but whenever you have a problem be it economic ,healthwise etc etc they attack you and feel happy at the extra misery they impart by their verbal insults (sugar coated often ) .
Having lived in this world long enough ( ya i am a very old man :) ) over the years i am yet to find a bad person . Seriously according to me the so called bad persons are the ones who have above average selfishness in them . And when you have above average selfishness ist not surprising that you find joy in other peoples suffering . And the vast majority of individuals have average degree of selfishness thereby they are neutral about others because they have themselves to think about . And the good relatives are the ones who are least selfish and who are resposible for the phrase "blood is thicker than water "
So once again thanking most members of my extended family who belong to the good category and my empathies to the close friend who have more hyaenas than can be handled .... ( its difficult to handle a pack of hyaenas .... see animal planet you will understand ) ...
Inspite of going nuclear at least in india many of us have close ties with the extended family . Having lived for a few years in joint family and also nuclear family and also having stayed with close relatives i know very well the joys of relatives . And some of them have treated me like their son (its a great feeling ) . When i went to mumbai i saw other families at close quarters and realised that in many families certain individuals are really unselfish in that they are so loving that they treat their kin (brothers cousins nephews etc ) so well that we doubt where is the "nuclearisation " of the 21 st century . I would classify these wonderful human beings as the good relatives . Just like the wildbuffalo herd in animal planet ( pls bear with my animal planet examples ) whatever the external stresses these individuals make sure that the family feels secure from all threats .
Maybe the increasing privacy of 21st century or the materialism if we classify relatives of most people (i am making a wild guess here ) the majority of relatives are neither good nor ugly . They are neutral . Neutral in the sense that they are there friendly and for an occasional visit but are really "not there " for you when you are in real need . I have no complaints in that because as humans we cannot gel with every soul we come across especially when materialism and competition makes "I " more important than "We " . Only thing is it would be wise if we realise who are our neutral relatives so that they are neither overtaxed or underutilised in your matters . Whenever you feel a need for deep emotional love and bonding or feel like giving deep emotional love it would be wise if you go to the good category than the neutral category of relatives .
Lastly the ugly category of relatives . Its also a minority luckily . But it is very important that such category is identified and dealt with accordingly . All families do have such individuals . But if you are not careful in assessing your relatives this minority category has a habit of making you very pessimistic about blood relations . Its not rocket science to recognise them . They look just like everyone . But whenever a rumour is spread about you if you take a little time in checking the source often it points to these individuals . Its not surprising that the same individuals are implicated in rumour spreading not only about you but many others in the family . This is one category of the ugly ones : hyaena of animal planet comes into my mind .
There is also a category of these ugly relatives who behave exactly like the hyaena . Hyaenas attack only when you are weak . They are ok and friendly with you even extra friendly when your going is good . but whenever you have a problem be it economic ,healthwise etc etc they attack you and feel happy at the extra misery they impart by their verbal insults (sugar coated often ) .
Having lived in this world long enough ( ya i am a very old man :) ) over the years i am yet to find a bad person . Seriously according to me the so called bad persons are the ones who have above average selfishness in them . And when you have above average selfishness ist not surprising that you find joy in other peoples suffering . And the vast majority of individuals have average degree of selfishness thereby they are neutral about others because they have themselves to think about . And the good relatives are the ones who are least selfish and who are resposible for the phrase "blood is thicker than water "
So once again thanking most members of my extended family who belong to the good category and my empathies to the close friend who have more hyaenas than can be handled .... ( its difficult to handle a pack of hyaenas .... see animal planet you will understand ) ...
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