Today i met my friend . I was gifted a box of foreign chocolates , a box of plum cake and it was not my birthday . A few months back i was gifted a shirt by a leading brand . Then also it was not my birthday . And knowing this person very well i know that the gifts are an extension of affection . I have numerous friends and most of them are not this "gifty " . We live in a highly "non -materialistic world " ( intentently sarcastic comment ) so my friend as well as myself are a rarity and we are " materialistic" giving and expecting gifts ...
Before considering us as freaks of nature consider a few more freaks too ... Last month i was in my uncles home ( a great gifter himself ) . Suddenly there was a boy standing outside with a large packet and a smile . Their neighbour had just returned from gulf country and the neighbours son was giving us the gift they had brought from gulf to my uncle and family . Opened the packet it contained foreign chocolates and out came some creams , some branded perfumes even a Mont Blanc pen (whew...) Is this what they call love your neighbour like your brother ? Next day even more "shocking " news . This neighbour had gifted some other neighbours and even the fisherman ( whom they knew well ) a gift (not Mont Blanc pen ) . I asked whether the neighbour was visiting india back first time . Aunt told that whenever they come from abroad they bring gifts to many .
My non -earning favourite cousin out of his pocket money once gifted me a parker pen . (again not on a birthday or special occasion ) . It was just out of affection and he could spare some money out of his pocket money .
Why i am writing this blog is because of two reasons :
1 These days i am not seeing that much gift bringing by foreign returnees . Is it the recession or has cost of perfumes gone up drastically ( I am sarcastically materialistic here )
2. Because the friend was asked by me not to gift me too much . For because of gifting though i know very much is due to affection i find the difference too stark . Affection should be in mind only . It should not be expressed in gifts and even if you are should buy the cheapest or duplicate ones so that hard earned money is saved .
Lastly i am a highly materialistic person ... Because i am one of the persons who came half (yes exactly half no exaggeration ) of my suitcase filled with chocolates for others when i visited from gulf . So for the rare few who continue showing part of your affection through gifting please continue to do so but realise that you are a dying breed ...
Before considering us as freaks of nature consider a few more freaks too ... Last month i was in my uncles home ( a great gifter himself ) . Suddenly there was a boy standing outside with a large packet and a smile . Their neighbour had just returned from gulf country and the neighbours son was giving us the gift they had brought from gulf to my uncle and family . Opened the packet it contained foreign chocolates and out came some creams , some branded perfumes even a Mont Blanc pen (whew...) Is this what they call love your neighbour like your brother ? Next day even more "shocking " news . This neighbour had gifted some other neighbours and even the fisherman ( whom they knew well ) a gift (not Mont Blanc pen ) . I asked whether the neighbour was visiting india back first time . Aunt told that whenever they come from abroad they bring gifts to many .
My non -earning favourite cousin out of his pocket money once gifted me a parker pen . (again not on a birthday or special occasion ) . It was just out of affection and he could spare some money out of his pocket money .
Why i am writing this blog is because of two reasons :
1 These days i am not seeing that much gift bringing by foreign returnees . Is it the recession or has cost of perfumes gone up drastically ( I am sarcastically materialistic here )
2. Because the friend was asked by me not to gift me too much . For because of gifting though i know very much is due to affection i find the difference too stark . Affection should be in mind only . It should not be expressed in gifts and even if you are should buy the cheapest or duplicate ones so that hard earned money is saved .
Lastly i am a highly materialistic person ... Because i am one of the persons who came half (yes exactly half no exaggeration ) of my suitcase filled with chocolates for others when i visited from gulf . So for the rare few who continue showing part of your affection through gifting please continue to do so but realise that you are a dying breed ...
very nice one.........munavr
ReplyDelete:) thanks for the comment
ReplyDeleteBest way of expressing love is by gifting . we humans need love , care and affection. Love is spoken , its not in silence. I don't know how far people values relations , well i have seen both the ends. If you love some one , let them know how beautiful they are ....make a call , share time with them or invite to ones home . What we see here is the presence of joy you share with your loved ones that's mattering .Had you noticed smile on a baby's face , when you gift a toy to them .....that speaks of gift :)I have to say something here ....gifts indeed... As soon as i got to know my bds final year results , my fav cousin ( the blogger ) got me a shirt (fav brand ) . He knows how happy i am at that moment , that was more mattering . He had gifted me a lot of things , but the greatest gift will be his presence in my life. Once i lost my watch and was planning to get new one. My cousin from Dubai , noticed that i wasn't wearing a watch.And asked ''Do you got a watch rauf '' He then call'd his wife and said her to get a box from the bag .....presents me a watch. He said not to loose it , as it was from a hard earned money. I was touched . There is an uncle in my dad's side who values relations.Whenever i visit him , he takes me to the best mall in the city and gets me branded clothes.He says ma cousin (his son ) enjoys shopping from the same mall.I can see he makes no difference with me from his son , when he wants to give the best. I understand love for one another is primary and a gift is a secondary thing to communicate. Prophet Muhammad p.b.h said ''Exchange gifts , for it increases love.India is a developing country and the gulf , Swiss chocolates are here in plenty than they does.......so may be that's the reason chocolates from abroad is missing aavukha :)
ReplyDeletedear dr , thanks for the long nice comment .. When i review about the fantastic new airports in india esp bangalore and hyderabad i will describe the extensive foreign chocolate section there . But still its a pleasure to get it as a gift instead of buying it from there . The gesture of gifting is more important and i am happy that you and your family is really ace in that ...
ReplyDeleteI think the gesture of 'gifting' falls into multiple categories. There are people who gift because they expect something in return- I have seen this too often in Kerala. I absolutely detest such gifts because they undermine the value of the relationship.
ReplyDeleteThen there are people who gift because they wish to portray to others how well-off they are. I hate to say that I have seen a lot of this category of people too in Kerala.
The gesture of 'gifting' only carries value when it is born out of love. That reminds me of my 12-year old neighbour who designed a heart from moistened and dried paper tissues, colored it using all her creativity, and gifted it to me. It also reminds me of an elderly woman who had come to see me at the hospital, and who hesitantly gifted me a tiny sweetmeat as a token of gratitude. She was poor and she was anxious if I would accept it. I was touched beyond words.
I think the love behind the gesture counts more than the gesture itself.
Also, I do agree that when it comes to children, it is a delight to shower gifts on them and see the happiness on their faces!
Vidya
thanks for reading and comment. gifting expecting return gift is really deplorable. And it remains real pleasure to do genuine gifting just like a genuine smile
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