depth of relationships

                                                                      When we were children we used to regularly go to kovalam beach ..We enjoyed the beach and even used to " swim "  in the shallows  .  We didnt know swimming then and this "swim " was the wading in 2 feet water  .  We thought we were swimmers  though even at that age we realised there was something beyond  .  As we grew up  me and my friends in our teenage years went to the beach and by this time a proper swimmer we used to go farther into the sea swimming  (farther meaning where the legs dont reach the seabed on standing thats all )   .  On both these occasions we enjoyed the beach experience but especially when i was a teenager i realised  though rare people do venture out  further into the sea  .  But that venturing out  into the deeper parts  is not for everyone . Just like the thrills of deep sea swimming and diving everyone likes  but it is not for everyone  because along with the thrills it demands time ,skill and a passion to go deeper  .

Thinking about  relationships  also  i find the same scenario  .  Many people  venture into the shallows ,enjoy the beach and  go back .  Think of it as your casual friends even many of your facebook aquaintances  .  You chat , have a good time  , meet once in a while exchange pleasantries and  go back into your lives maybe to meet or communicate again after a long time  .  Theres  nothing wrong in that  .

Then of course you have your set of closer people who do real swimming  that  is interacting with you  on a personal basis  ,  share with each other whats going on in your lives  etc etc  ..  This is naturally a minority  whom you call close friend  or  a relative  in the true sense  .

Then comes the last category   the equivalent of deep sea diving .. These people are usually of similar wavelength as you  , who understand each other  fairly well  . And most importantly  most of them are prepared to take your concerns as their own often without thinking about themselves  and vice versa  .  If its a  friend we call this  "intimate or very close friend  "  and if its a relative  " favorite  relative  "  .  Its a no -brainer that   these intimate  friends and favorite  relative  could be more than one  too  ...

Like in many families in my maternal family too we have an uncle who is the favourite among all of us nephews and nieces .  Though most of my uncles and aunts are nice and loving  this particular one goes beyond the call of duty  .  Inspite of  a busy business he finds time to be there for all of my cousins and often is so selfless that he goes for his nephews and nieces needs like a parent does . The other uncles and aunts know this and they instead of being jealous admire him as few people can be like him . They are all loving but this person is beyond .

Then there is the other extreme ... The friends who dont even say hello even for one year eventhough they are in your facebook list  .  Initially i thought this was my unique (most people hate me :)  )  experience but on enquiry in my close friend and relative circle found that this attitude by some people is not uncommon  .
And recently i even got some who want to be in my favourite list  too when that is occupied by many people who are really close to me  .

So  just like the sea  , remember many of us have minds and only few can appreciate the depth of it  . So either jump in after making a real effort  or  wade in the shallows  .  But  be clear of where you are cos  each is a very different experience  ...(have u seen a beautiful coral reef in knee deep water ... i havent  .. its found little  deeper  )