Delhi one of my favourite cities

                                                            Maybe because i am a proud indian , maybe because i like food so much , maybe because i like open spaces so much or maybe i like seeing beautiful women :)  Delhi is one of my most favourite cities .  And this dialogue is all the more important because i generally dont like cities .
Inspite of my cousins comment " man why of all the places in the galaxy why u like delhi  "  ... Hmmm .. i still love delhi  ..

I have been visiting on and off delhi for past five years .  And each day when i travel on my long commute i cannot but admire the sights on both sides of the road . Be it the Red fort with its beautiful and imposing structure which oozes history even before our independance and to cap it all the national flag on top  .  Nearby you have the humayuns tomb one of the greatest emperors of all time .  And the samadhis of the great leaders of india  including Mahatma Gandhi .  And maybe my taxi has a separate road :) because the roads are so wide compared to other congested cities of india i hardly get into traffic jams in delhi . And the cruise through the india gate area etc and even the numerous flyovers  (i think most flyovers in india )  make the journey itself very pleasurable for a speed enthusiast like me  .

Coming to food like many major cities in india here too you get all the worlds cuisine including my  favourite japanese cuisine .  But what i like about delhi is their basic north indian fare is extremely delicious , palatable for most people especially a south indian like me .  And the greatest paradox is very nice south indian food which is as tasty as its available in kerala and tamil nadu is available in delhi . In mumbai i had to travel for 2hrs in heavy traffic to eat the rice and sambar and that too tamilian version . But in delhi in less than 30 minutes u r spoilt for choices to get tamilian or kerala food .  Not to mention the best kebabs at Kareems (near Juma Masjid )  ,  the numerous eateries at Greater Kailash and new friends colony  ..,.words cant describe the culinery delights here  ..

Did i write about the open spaces in delhi . Ya  new delhi though its a "city " has lots of parks , very wide roads and less tall intimidating buildings  .  And except for certain parts of purani delhi its not congested compared to mumbai , bangalore or chennai  .  Even people who can afford live in real style with lots of independant bunglows in heart of the city . Compare mumbai where even my neighbour salman khan was living in a flat  whereas this poor blogger (myself ) is this moment writing this blog from a bunglow in delhi .

I can write on and on about delhi but delhi metro receives special mention as having travelled in metro in germany  i find considering its in a "poor " country like india  delhi metro is really clean , fast ,efficient and cheap   .  Connectivity is extremely good too  . Kolkata metro is more historic with each station painted with historic themes but cleanliness and efficiency delhi metro is leagues ahead .

Now last two points . The women first (as always :) )  .  Of course maybe the punjabi influence ( i have travelled in punjab too )  delhi women are one of the most beautiful i have seen .  (personal opinion )  .  What is even more interesting is their accent and the way they speak which is very polite  .  Of course you find polite women in other cities too  but here the vast majority are very polite  and when very pretty women  who are relative strangers are very polite i cannot help but admire them  .

And lastly weather (here i dont expect u to agree  ... its very subjective my opinion )  . I love delhi weather . I love it because its the extremes . I love the cold here and happy that i dont have to visit a cold station like munnar just to be in a cold climate  . And when it is hot in summer i like the dry heat which doesnt make my shirt soggy like in chennai, mumbai or kerala .

In this blog because of the recent delhi rape case and also because delhiites are perceived as more "political  and less friendly "  by many from other cities  i still endorse that i like this city very much and regarding people just like the climate extremes i have met some of the best ones in this city and the worst ones also in delhi  .  And i like to be optimistic  .  :)

Please give your feedback on right side form . Thanks for your time 

the fox in the chicken nest ..

                                                                  I was 10 years old studying in alleppey , the Venice of the East .
Though i was studying in a good school which was known for its academics there was two things which were not there in that school . The fine arts ---music and dance and  girls  .

I wanted to learn music and the only way out was across the street . But unfortunately the music teacher was teaching only in the girls school separated from our all boys school by a road .  Even ekalavya didnt have the difficulty to be Dronacharyas disciple as that of the boy from all boys school to join for music classes in the all girls school across the street .  I wanted desperately to study music and that too with musical instrument harmonium and luck was on my side .  The girls school superiors were very known to my moms family as my mom and all her sisters had studied there long back  .  Thus i got special permission to enter the girls school in the morning to study music before the owners of the school arrived -- the girls of course .

Six months went by uneventfully i waking up early morning , going to the girls school , finishing my music lessons and then crossing the border to the boys school .  After six months i became greedy  and told my mom i wanted to learn more .  "Son , what you want to learn ..."  . She asked .

"Dance " I replied .
 She pondered . "Where is the dance teacher available "  .

The solution was ready with me "Amma , the same school evening they have dance class "  .
Known for six months good behaviour they gave permission for me to study dance . Only condition is i had my dance classes separately while all the girls had it separately .  . And because it was a girls school 90 percent of the time i was a mute spectator who was forced to watch the girls dancing .

In the one year i was there i was always a gentleman there and the end result was i could meet my two loves for the first time ---music and dance .  And because of that they gave a guest appearance for me in their group dance as " the boatman "  because a group dance with a dancer boy from the boys school was unthinkable at those times .

                                      Though always a gentleman :) i had a checking inspector inbuilt in my dance classes at the girls school . None other than my sister who was also studying there who along with her friends were in the dance class . Poor sister , she still tells me she had to walk few metres behind because as soon as the gate was crossed and we walked home the fox  with all its timidity had to walk with a particular chicken dropping the chicken at her home  .The chicken was my sisters pretty classmate and the fox was myself .   Looking back maybe  that was my first crush  .




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movie review trivandrum lodge

warning : Adults only and some spoilers





I want to fornicate with abandon  ... A young divorcee is telling to her married friend on her aspirations after her divorce .  I checked the movie again .  Oh God , its a mainstream movie not a soft porn movie .  And pretty successful too in the theatres .

And if you thought that was the only "adults only " dialogue in the movie trivandrum lodge you are mistaken . Its just the beginning .  The movie is allegedly centred around a delapidated lodge called trivandrum lodge situated in kochi  . It shows the life of the characters staying there(played by Jayasurya , Sukumari , Janardanan etc) and the life of its owner (Anoop Menon )  and his only child .

Soon to add further life into the movie our young divorcee also lands .  I have hardly ever seen "malayalam" movies where the sex life of characters is openly discussed .  And just like the film beautiful  this movie also i feel is a punch aimed at the double standards of contemperory soceity . When the kid of the lodge owner is caught in school with a porn magazine and all classteacher is vehemently asking the principal to expel him , Anoop Menon quietly tells two things ..

Can you please show me the evidence  .... There is a commotion and the magazine is missing . Suddenly it is found sticking out from the classteachers pocket  .  The vanguards who are protecting the morality of the soceity is seen as the truly immoral ones .

Next the boys father explains to the principal that his son whom he is very close to tells him everything and he has no need to smuggle a black and white porn magazine that too in tamil to school when its freely available on the internet . Further scenes show the closeness the father -son shares especially since the boy has lost his mother .

                                                     Inspite of the very good acting by Jayasurya and a satire on the false morality of contemporary kerala soceity i wouldnt say the film is a must watch because the direction is average according to me  . It could have been taken much better . So if you want to see how smaller actors like Jayasurya and Tasneen Khan can act really well given a challenging role see the movie  . If you like how new age cinema is laying bare the hypocricies in soceity  (movies  Diamond necklace , beautiful etc )  see the movie . For the average movie goer  i would not recommend the movie  .

the yellow BSA cycle and the rat snake

                                                When i was a child one day in my dads shop when he opened it there was an unexpected visitor .  Some ran with fear few with excitement .  It was a big yellow rat snake . In another place it would have reached the netherworld for Menaka Gandhi was not active at that time and snakes used to get killed on sight  .  But for one man it would have been killed but he caught it and i still remember he put it in a big cage and it was the "pet " for quite sometime in our ancestral home .  His interest in animals was infectious and even this day animals i like very much and i am not afraid of snakes  .

                                                     I like music but i still remember it was not malayalam or even english music that i used to first get excited when i was a child . It was in a language even now i dont understand a word  .  It was in Konkani language and i still remember everyday i used to listen to it  .  Where did this Goan music land in my house for we have hardly any anglo-indian or goan relatives . That too was brought home by my uncle in "those " days when to get goan music you had to go to goa  .

Thats where the BSA cycle comes in .  He went in it and brought the konkani music cassette to our home . Ya whats the big deal .  Think the distance from middle of kerala to goa and in this "adventurous " era people go by cars to goa driving . But he used to cycle this distance mainly as an adventure  though he had some work there .

I had blogged about my motorcycle journeys and canoeing and this adventure streak i got from my uncle  (fathers brother )  .  And dont be surprised when bachata music (  from south america ) plays at 100 decibels at my home  . Though my uncle dont endorse the noise levels  :)  this konkani , bachata music streak also i got from him  .

And the belief that music doesnt discriminate between people  , that travel makes you see other people as part of same mankind and loving animals as part of our world is one that i fully endorse  ...

I love goan girls too  :)  more on that later  ...(joking i dont know any goan girl  )  

the eraser ( not the movie )

"Friend shall i erase  you  ?  " One of my close friend is telling me an year back .  I look at his hand .He has a weapon in his hand and his finger on the trigger  ... Knowing him i didnt shudder and i was laughing when i saw the weapon  ... He has a habit of deleting names from his contact list of his mobile of people whom he know but who he has created more trouble for him in the name of "friendship"  than good .

Of course he was joking to me  and both of us were laughing but  i know he has deleted at least a few from his contact list  earlier . You may have your own opinion regarding this.  Though not a very practical solution at least as he says " it gives some satisfaction "  and i have to agree with him...

I have a different version of this  in my habits  .  Being in radiation field we are used to time, distance, barrier whenever we deal with radiation . When we minimise these three variables the effect of radiation is very minimal  .

Look around you be it your personal life or worklife .  You know some people who are really good to others . many who are ok and a few who are really toxic  .  We all have our own methods of dealing with the toxic category  but i have seen many people who unnecessarily be in too much stress because they deal with the toxic people .. (people who are rude to everyone , who make fun of others too much etc  )  .

But just like radiation their effect can be really minimised  by using principles of radiation safety .  Spend minimum time with these people ( give lots of excuses  ... its worth it  )  ,  distance ( avoid as much as possible and preferably sneakily or not so sneakily walk away  )  and barrier (keep other people between you and the toxic person preferably one who is more resistant to rudeness etc  )  .

The other option is as my friend does  ... Of erasing from the mobile contact list  ..

You must be thinking my friend must be left with only a few friends after deleting all the toxic ones .  I think still the world is filled more with  good people that our contact list and even facebook contact list is relatively full  .......

Dedicated to my close  friend ---The Eraser  ...

depth of relationships

                                                                      When we were children we used to regularly go to kovalam beach ..We enjoyed the beach and even used to " swim "  in the shallows  .  We didnt know swimming then and this "swim " was the wading in 2 feet water  .  We thought we were swimmers  though even at that age we realised there was something beyond  .  As we grew up  me and my friends in our teenage years went to the beach and by this time a proper swimmer we used to go farther into the sea swimming  (farther meaning where the legs dont reach the seabed on standing thats all )   .  On both these occasions we enjoyed the beach experience but especially when i was a teenager i realised  though rare people do venture out  further into the sea  .  But that venturing out  into the deeper parts  is not for everyone . Just like the thrills of deep sea swimming and diving everyone likes  but it is not for everyone  because along with the thrills it demands time ,skill and a passion to go deeper  .

Thinking about  relationships  also  i find the same scenario  .  Many people  venture into the shallows ,enjoy the beach and  go back .  Think of it as your casual friends even many of your facebook aquaintances  .  You chat , have a good time  , meet once in a while exchange pleasantries and  go back into your lives maybe to meet or communicate again after a long time  .  Theres  nothing wrong in that  .

Then of course you have your set of closer people who do real swimming  that  is interacting with you  on a personal basis  ,  share with each other whats going on in your lives  etc etc  ..  This is naturally a minority  whom you call close friend  or  a relative  in the true sense  .

Then comes the last category   the equivalent of deep sea diving .. These people are usually of similar wavelength as you  , who understand each other  fairly well  . And most importantly  most of them are prepared to take your concerns as their own often without thinking about themselves  and vice versa  .  If its a  friend we call this  "intimate or very close friend  "  and if its a relative  " favorite  relative  "  .  Its a no -brainer that   these intimate  friends and favorite  relative  could be more than one  too  ...

Like in many families in my maternal family too we have an uncle who is the favourite among all of us nephews and nieces .  Though most of my uncles and aunts are nice and loving  this particular one goes beyond the call of duty  .  Inspite of  a busy business he finds time to be there for all of my cousins and often is so selfless that he goes for his nephews and nieces needs like a parent does . The other uncles and aunts know this and they instead of being jealous admire him as few people can be like him . They are all loving but this person is beyond .

Then there is the other extreme ... The friends who dont even say hello even for one year eventhough they are in your facebook list  .  Initially i thought this was my unique (most people hate me :)  )  experience but on enquiry in my close friend and relative circle found that this attitude by some people is not uncommon  .
And recently i even got some who want to be in my favourite list  too when that is occupied by many people who are really close to me  .

So  just like the sea  , remember many of us have minds and only few can appreciate the depth of it  . So either jump in after making a real effort  or  wade in the shallows  .  But  be clear of where you are cos  each is a very different experience  ...(have u seen a beautiful coral reef in knee deep water ... i havent  .. its found little  deeper  )  

Teacher ....

               Long ago that is approximately 15+ years back  , i was surrounded by at least 30 murderers , rapists , and arsonists  .  They were all staring at me as i was the centre of attraction .  It was in central prison poojappura . I was naturally not attacked as i didnt provoke them but for an hour there was only total respect from them not even a single verbal abuse  .  For the simple reason  ..... I was there for an hour teaching them .

Looking back on my teaching experience in last 15 + years in  varying settings including engineering colleges , medical colleges , prison , one to one at home and on a reasonable variety of topics from purely medical to purely computers ( i used to help my dad in teaching computers even during predegree and later on my own   )  the above stands apart in the type of students i taught  .

As most teachers can identify with me though i was paid 500 rs for that short lecture so many years back ( i was a student then so thats a good amount of money in those days ) it was not the money that gave me the intense satisfaction but the process of teaching and connecting with the student group  .

Though each person is different and has his own way of being a teacher  personally for me  i feel  :

Teaching is more about expressing your knowledge than your level of knowledge . If you look around your past the best teachers were the ones who expressed their knowledge in simple terms rather than the ones who had enormous amounts of knowledge but could not express it properly in simple terms . Nowhere is this stark contrast very evident than in big lectures where some people who captivate their audience have been found to have lesser knowledge than many others who have great amount of knowledge but cannot give an interesting lecture highlighting the points let alone face the people  .  I am saying this from personal experience of being in the audience as a student  many years back and later meeting the same people in another level  .
Does it make them lesser teachers ?  Never  ... they are great teachers .. for the art of teaching demands skill in teaching and expressing whatever knowledge you have clearly rather than becoming 100 percent knowledge bank ( called database  :)  )

In one on one teaching as well as in small crowds some degree of personal interaction goes a long way in you becoming a more effective teacher .  I am not saying every five minutes ask what food they had in the morning etc  but connecting in a level of human-human interaction with lots of active interactions from both the student and teacher . Otherwise in this computer era why dont the students choose computers as teachers  .  In this respect i was shocked when i was offered a teaching assignment from morning to evening ...Ya my same boring face for an audience from morning to evening . Here too a significant personal interaction when the audience feels you are interacting them on a one to one level even though its a group helps to minimise the  sleep ..    I still dont know how they didnt sleep during those 8 hours (even with breaks )  ...

A sense of humour definitely helps  and if you can say interesting anecdotes and examples  it would definitely help to keep the students glued to their seats  .  In this respect ( though not recommended at all )  i remember my malayalam teacher in my boys school in tenth standard who used to tell adult stories .He was popular too  .  That is unethical but without going to adult stories there are a million ways to make the class interesting with interesting examples  .

Most important  for a teacher i feel more than all the above is a "passion"  for teaching . Its difficult to fake it  .  I dont think everyone has it  but if you have it , it can be developed .  I had blogged earlier how i really used to enjoy studying  . At least in part that is due to my teachers in school whose passion for teaching was transferred to the students .  (  except the young  malayalam teacher  : was it a veiled xxx education ??  )  .
I still remember the excitement i felt when organic chemistry was discussed , the making of english phrases (we had to study oxford english )  etc etc and still remember both the subject and the teachers who taught those .

In an ideal world teaching will be in the top choice among careers , but since it has never been never a top choice career  it shows that the world is far from ideal .  But without being pessimistic if you have the teaching flair  there are so many ways in which you can use your teaching skills without becoming a "teacher " in your  resume .  Even a corporate trainer though earning in lakhs is still a teacher  :)  And yes without being hypocritical you can be  a great teacher  and earn decent money and gain great respect  if you  have the flair in you as well as make intelligent choices  ..Best wishes

Appreciation an art

                                                                "  Thank you Sir " we understood very well what you taught . Because its not mandatory in my field to thank me as i teach "customers "  each thank you is genuine and i like it much .
 "Your moustache looks nice "  :  it was not one girl but two girls together who was telling this to me   .  They never became my lovers so dont mistake me :)  but the point was that appreciation still rings in me though it was said many years back  .

The point is to be appreciated is a thing any human irrespective of his background likes . But though all of us like appreciation honestly think how frequently we appreciate other people verbally  . I am  not  telling the customary appreciation which is done and the flattery which some people do in the guise of appreciation . But true appreciation is an art and it gives joy both to the person who is giving it and the one who receives it  .And for many years i make it a point to always appreciate whenever i feel someone deserves appreciation from the peon to the high ranking person especially when someone really does his job well .And in this aspect (never done as flattery  )  i have got only positive feelings and as a sideeffect some friends too  ...

Though my subject of postgraduation( radiodiagnosis ) is a well appreciated subject in medical circles ( for its flexitime , latest technology contact etc)   and in nonmedical circles (for its high salary etc  )  while studying it i still remember the greatest appreciation came not from the people i met  .  It came in the form of a phone call from my uncle in United states whose voice still rings in my years when he told his great appreciation in my choosing this subject  ( he was a photographer )  . Today i am not surprised as so many people appreciate me on choosing this specialty but at those days it was a rarity to get a really positive appreciation especially from other side of the globe  .

To make a long story short ... For those who dont appreciate others "verbally" (appreciation in mind is not much use  ) pls start genuinely appreciating the positive things in others  .  Without exaggeration my cousin who was in kolkata genuinely appreciated some friends mothers cooking and from that day own he has always had best homecooked food (not flattery  mind you  ) .

And those who appreciate others already  pls continue that good habit  but dont overdo it  as the guy who always go to the pretty girls and say " You look pretty  "  ... Leave it to the seniors :)  joking  ...Say it at your own risk  :)  

delhi rape and some little thoughts

                                                     Exactly  five years ago  i was speaking to my friend who is a girl from mumbai  . Casually chatting as i was new to mumbai then she remarked that after a long journey by bus she reached at 2 am at home .  "What  ... 2 am midnight   ?  "  Werent you afraid  ?  I asked  ..
"This is mumbai  ... Here we girls feel safe whatever the time is  .  "she replied  .

3 years ago  :   Gurgaon near  Delhi  .... I told my friend  " Hey man  ...Nice cool place  ... I am going to eat out  at 9 pm  "  .  " Be careful  "   ....He replied  ...

" What ?  Its only 9 pm  "  I told him  and i am a man  ..

"Boss ... It doesnt matter  ... Its not safe  ..."


                       No  i wont say point blank that Delhi and Gurgaon are bad places for safety of women and all other places in india or even the world are safe for women  .  But considering the statistics it remains true that certain regions of the country are relatively more unsafe for women .

But can rape be prevented  by cordoning off certain regions of india  or even by offering stricter punishments alone  .  Murder is punished (of course only if rarest )  by  capital punishment  but has that alone reduced the murder rates in any parts of the world  . The circumstances under which and motive of murder and rape are much different  of course but the point is  severe punishment "alone" is not going to stop this menace  .

The key thing is  a change in attitude towards women in this patriarchal soceity  .  (  If anyone still tells me we are an equal soceity  check at the boy: girl ratio of babies born in many parts of india )   .  And if  you tell me men alone are the perpetrators in the second class attitude towards women i wont ask you to look at  the saas -bahu serials but a serious rethink on what really happens in making women gender unequal  .And if you really go into rape in many cases its not only a crime of animal passion its a crime of control  of one person over another  .

Considering  the overwhelming response in facebook as well as protests  against that violent incidence of gang  rape its very clear that the public overwhelmingly is very concerned about this  . Of course speedy trial and speedy justice is the need of the hour in these cases .  But i feel still the most important factor is a serious rethink on what status we as a soceity gives to our women  .

In one of the articles in the newspaper  one woman journalist  was telling how she was groped during a protest  .  And paradoxically that protest was the very protest  of recent times against the rape of that innocent girl  .  Though overwhelming protestors have the best of intentions and this could be a random incident by a random miscreant among the protestors  .

But  the skewed sex ratio  , countless "  innocent " remarks against women and even these gropings arent they a serious wakeup call for  us overall regarding the status of women in our soceity  ...  ?

Hoping for peace for that innocent girl in the nether world  i wish all my friends to always speak up against any form of abuse be it physical , mental or sexual by anybody  so that may her soul rest in peace  ...