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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

An unusual spouse : Money

Ebenezer Scrooge of  Charles  Dickens  famous novel of 1843  Christmas Carol  comes to my mind  whenever  i think about  my tryst with english prose in my  school years  .  That character became so  ingrained in literature that  his  last name has  become  the  english byword for miserliness  and misanthropy  . 

I  dont know  whether  there were so many  Scrooges  in Dickens time  but at least  i see  many  Scrooges  in these times .    Seemingly  its not a vice  by itself  ---afterall  we need  money to survive  .  After  air and water , money is  a necessity  .  But  how  much  money is required  for a person  ?  A very debatable issue   .  Studies in the  United States  have  shown that  beyond  a reasonable  income  covering  the basic expenses  and some  savings  there  is  no  correlation  at all  between  more money and  happiness  .For  example  a person  earning  $ 30000 and  $ 300000 is not ten times  or even doubly happier  .  It  is found that  loving relationships  are correlated  with  greater  happiness  in all  the  research studies.

Does this love(greed )  for money  and  loving relationships go hand-in-hand  ?  No  .  The negative correlation is obvious  but the reasons are not that obvious  . 
                                                                      One of the  most obnoxious  practices  i have observed  in some of  the  "nuclear"  households  is  the  great reluctance  in sharing their food with  others  .  By  some  primitive economic calculation they  assume that  by  not  giving  food  to their guest  or restricting the amount of food prepared  each day  they  cumulatively accumulate  a  lot  of money  .  But  food sharing  being  one  of the  fundamental  trait  of human social bonding  is circumvented  and  these  same  people  after  years  voice  why  they  are  unloved and  why  no  one "is there  "  for them  . 

                                                                           Both  my  grandparents house were always full  of people  and  anyone who came be it  relative , friend or beggar  never  went  on empty  stomach back  . They were joint families and both the  households were rich  .  But  it was not the richness which  made them share  the food with  all  the  guests but their  rich  attitude  .  This was in early 80s ...

Fast forward  to  2000s  ...... Nuclear family  ,  internet  , the era  of Dominos and KFCs  .  But  one thing still  remained the same  ... Food is an integral part of  human interaction and social bonding.  And on a primal level it is still  an integral element of survival  . 

But  these  two decades have made  a  vast change in human mentality  ... consumerism  and self centredness creeped in  , by iteslf  not  an evil , but  not an asset nonetheless  .  These  days i find  two kinds of households.  One is where  whenever  you go  at whatever  time  you  are invited  to partake of  thier food  and they have  no restrictions on the amount of food you consume  .  In other households  there is  a great reluctance  in offering food  as  if each  morsel is a gold coin  .  And interestingly  this attitude  is not towards me alone . On observation this behaviour is reported  by  all the guests to those  households  .  Though  not  done a statistical study  i have observed  that  the former  households  "spendthrifts "  get  back  more than they asked for  .  People visit them  often  ,  they are showered with gifts  ( you tell me  which brings you greater  joy  ---- buying a  5000 rs fishing rod or 15000 rs mobile or getting the same as a gift  from  a  close  relative or friend ?)  and  though there is no love -o -meter  most  people speak  in very loving terms regarding them  . And  the  latter  households  --what about them  ..... Yes  they are  visited  less often  (saving their bills on food  )  ,  they have  noone other  than  their  nuclear counterparts when any need arises  and  they buy their  goodies themselves . 
                                    So  whats the  whole  point in this  ?? Both  these households are living  ...whats my  problem  ....The problem  is :  They complain  that  they are  unloved without reason  and Im speechless  for a  second  . 
And  my  answer  to them is  .... read  Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and pray  that they understand 


                                                                                         

2 comments:

  1. I agree with whatever u have written here!
    it feels so good to know that you are same old haroon.time hasn't changed you a bit.can i ever forget the tasty tasty food that your mom made for us??- neena

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  2. dear monsoon dreams
    thanks for the nice comment . tasty food assured anytime
    regards
    haroon

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