She was just in her twenties .. But she was not coming inside the house . Her mother was working inside but the "class struggle" and her lower economic status was not the reason why she was shunning human contact . She was filled with shame .She was going through a divorce .
In divorce capital of india kerala (refer google) these days every month i hear of a few divorces . Why should i worry ? Then listen to these random stories .....
Girl 1 : A young professional degree girl got married a few months back . Usually girls land in hospitals within a year of marriage for pregnancy related causes but this unfortunate girl landed in a hospital not in gynaec department but Accident and Emergency . Victim of domestic violence . Still she didnt file for divorce . But daily abuses and unprintable words and continuing violence soon made her file for divorce . Got the "divorced" label in a soceity that values continuing marriage at any cost ...
Girl 2 : If our young friend was unlucky second one was unluckier . She is also in her twenties . Young, full of life and waiting for the happily ever after tag . Though little out of fashion these days she got pregnant soon after marriage . Her abuses intensified after this great event because now there was a bond which prevents her from divorcing easily . " Single mom " status is also a taboo topic though we are westernised in all other things .
The way many people get married be it arranged or love makes divorces not an inevitable end .Getting married to high end cars and qualifications and then facing realities after marriage is not rare . Neither is going after puppy love and flirty dialogues and then facing reality .
But the worrying trend is people getting married and then abused within marriages,. Its often by high conflict personalities . (some with personality disorders ) . In this day of internet its your loss if you suffer abuse without at least knowing that sometimes your spouse may be having a personality disorder . Though not in the majority always be aware of basics of psychology before you tie the knot . We screen people for their qualifications and beauty but a little knowledge may save your life .
See the following internet links
http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/understanding/
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/save-yourself/personality-disorders-core-features.php
If your spouse is a constant blamer, a constant emotional or physical abuser always do your homework read up on the net , exchange notes with good friends , see a good therapist and assess the situation and if necessary make big decisions in life . Although divorce should never be done for flimsy reasons if you are married or contemplating marriage or planning to have a baby with a high conflict personality better be aware and take informed decisions .
PS : Just my personal opinion based on my observations . Not psychological advice. Contact experts if marital issues are present .
In divorce capital of india kerala (refer google) these days every month i hear of a few divorces . Why should i worry ? Then listen to these random stories .....
Girl 1 : A young professional degree girl got married a few months back . Usually girls land in hospitals within a year of marriage for pregnancy related causes but this unfortunate girl landed in a hospital not in gynaec department but Accident and Emergency . Victim of domestic violence . Still she didnt file for divorce . But daily abuses and unprintable words and continuing violence soon made her file for divorce . Got the "divorced" label in a soceity that values continuing marriage at any cost ...
Girl 2 : If our young friend was unlucky second one was unluckier . She is also in her twenties . Young, full of life and waiting for the happily ever after tag . Though little out of fashion these days she got pregnant soon after marriage . Her abuses intensified after this great event because now there was a bond which prevents her from divorcing easily . " Single mom " status is also a taboo topic though we are westernised in all other things .
The way many people get married be it arranged or love makes divorces not an inevitable end .Getting married to high end cars and qualifications and then facing realities after marriage is not rare . Neither is going after puppy love and flirty dialogues and then facing reality .
But the worrying trend is people getting married and then abused within marriages,. Its often by high conflict personalities . (some with personality disorders ) . In this day of internet its your loss if you suffer abuse without at least knowing that sometimes your spouse may be having a personality disorder . Though not in the majority always be aware of basics of psychology before you tie the knot . We screen people for their qualifications and beauty but a little knowledge may save your life .
See the following internet links
http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/understanding/
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/save-yourself/personality-disorders-core-features.php
If your spouse is a constant blamer, a constant emotional or physical abuser always do your homework read up on the net , exchange notes with good friends , see a good therapist and assess the situation and if necessary make big decisions in life . Although divorce should never be done for flimsy reasons if you are married or contemplating marriage or planning to have a baby with a high conflict personality better be aware and take informed decisions .
PS : Just my personal opinion based on my observations . Not psychological advice. Contact experts if marital issues are present .
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