a true keralite ...my childhood games

                                             When i was a kid there were no mobile phones to chat endlessly to my friends . There was no facebook and only when i was in high school computers just peeped into our world .  But as my younger cousins ask me " Werent you bored then ? "  . The answer is No . Because we had our games and our toys .  My dad owned a toyshop and i was an avid reader too but  the thing i most enjoyed were the games which didnt need any equipment or only the cheap equipment .


And starting with the kochanga cricket where we used to make the makeshift bat from the stem of coconut tree leaf and the ball was the young seed of coconut tree . The rest of the rules of cricket apply including the sixer .  And wicket was a coconut tree .  The paradox was we were playing this game in an upper middle class school in trivandrum all of us with tie and shoes .  That was fun .

While an adult i enjoy driving in the highway . But if you ask me there was one thing which was more enjoyable when i was a kid . That was taking a used cycle tyre and using a stick make it roll and run behind it .  Having a large ancestral compound helped matters by providing the "racetrack "  but the poorer people also used to enjoy as much by doing this on the side of main road . And in those "good old days "  it was not below anyones dignity to run behind a used tyre on the road .

Of course we used to play hide and seek like the kids still do these days but one game we played whenever space was a minimum was called "njondi pidutham " in malayalam . Its simple you the catcher is supposed to hop behind the others and try to touch them . The catch is that the catcher is supposed to hop on one leg while the others can run around in two legs .  No equipment needed but still remember the faces of the friends whom i played this with .

The first steps of business as a vegetable vendor was also learnt in childhood .  Only thing is the leaves of the garden plants are the "vegetables " and the makeshift balance to weight it was made from two cocnut tree husks and a stick  .  Chilli powder was crushed brick .

I wouldnt say the good old days were the best but i still would say good old days were cheap and best because at no cost we could get as much happiness as our kids get now with a samsung S4 or iphone 5 .
And yes i am proud of Gods own country in "some" ways at least in that i used to get the entire cricket equipment from coconut tree which symbolises kerala ..

PS : Though still i play table tennis never got the joy when our bats were our notebooks( the symbol of studies) when we first started the game when we were in middleschool during exam time ..Any explanations

Frida movie review

                  Beautiful movie ....Having watched the film yesterday i am still mesmerized by it in so many ways . Its a movie based on the mexican painter Frida Kahlo who is one of the greatest women painters .  I am not a connoisseur of paintings but seeing this movie i am intrigued by the life of the artists which goes into the paintings expressing their deepest emotions .

                                                             The film (some spoilers ahead)  starts with beautiful mexico landscape many decades back and a house where a huge bed is getting shifted by workmen . Soon it is revealed that the bed which is being transported has a lady lying in it .  Apparently she is going to her art exhibition from her sickbed and since the doctor has ordered stay in bed because of very poor health she has found a novel way to attend her exhibition . All her life when lifes cruelties dealt a severe blow she fought back and expressed herself in her own way  ... mainly through her paintings . Having undergone 35 surgeries after a major accident in which she was crushed and impaled through her pelvis if we think that her life journey had just this challenge it was just the beginning .

The movie is also a paradoxical tale of romantic love .At the age of 22 she fell in love and married the 42 year old Diego Rivera a mural painter . The marriage was against her mothers wishes which makes romance more exciting is the usual story . But more importantly Diego was a notorious womanizer and apparently according to the movie she agreed to it too as she wanted loyalty if not fidelity .  The movie shows the romance or rather unilateral romance by her inspite of the terrible challenges . Salma Hayek has shown it beautifully capturing her emotions as good as the canvas and her paintings  . See the movie for another facet of romantic love and ultimately after 12+  years it ends in divorce .   End of story ? No  ... Afflicted by gangrene and with her toes amputated , an alcoholic and in poverty it was her turn to be proposed again after an year by her former husband and they get married again till her death at the age of 47 .

The movie buff in me ( the fighter and the romantic in me really liked the movie ) was even more thrilled by the beautiful picturisation of the Mexican landscape almost 80 years back . the Spanish music in the background ,the costumes . Acting by salma Hayek is simply superb and the screenplay and direction is good .

I cannot rate this movie as I feel humbled by it and the life behind it Frida Kahlo ..

Sanjay Dutt, Sreesanth and Victor Hugo

                                                                  Whenever i see movies both bollywood and malayalam the court scenes show a lady with blindfolded eyes with a weighing scale in her arms .. the symbol of justice not looking at who the person is, a symbol of impartiality of justice system . 

Recently the Supreme court has upheld the conviction of Sanjay dutt in  the case in association with illegal possession of an assault rifle AK 56 .    And more recently the arrest of the young man from kerala our Sreesanth on case of match fixing/spot fixing ( the difference is immaterial )  .To tell the truth i am not a fan of both of them . And it was amusing to read the arguments Sanjay Dutt had put forth to avoid strict punishment . Apparently there was a string of movies had to complete and many crores were at stake . Honestly  i was surprised at how such an argument can even be uttered when ordinary  people who are newly wed or even  have dependant parents are taken away to the gallows if they commit a crime . And if they cannot complain is Sanjay special ? And that too for the excuse that movies are at stake ? 

Sreesanth always known for his haughty manner and off the field unpopular acts was always on the negative radar even of the cricket watching crowd . And though he apparently committed a "soft " crime of matchfixing ( making a fool of millions of watching public  )  i often wonder whether the greed was warranted . For in addition to the millions of rupees he get by playing millions are also raked in by product endorsements . And even a cursory google search ( dont these people use the internet ? ) should have told him that what he did was a criminal act with stringent punishments under indian penal code .

And why i put the great French author whom i admire very much among these two people who have betrayed the public trust inspite of their immense riches is to show the paradox  .

Victor Hugo in his famous novel " Les Miserables" has the lead character punished for almost a lifetime in prison for a crime .  His crime was stealing  a piece of bread to suppress his familys hunger .  Whether we value justice or mercy i hope inspite of their fame and charisma i think both these " famous " people should be punished with no leniency and thus making sure the lady with the eyes blindfolded is able to make us proud in the Indian penal code .

PS :  Latest news is the betting had strong links to the most wanted criminal of india .. dawood ibrahim . And hopefully our angry young man Sreesanth  will be an icon in our justice system with really serious charges slapped against him like MOCA  ( google please ... its interesting to know the laws of our country  )  .  Thanks for reading ...

Apparent suicide of actress jiah khan

http://in.news.yahoo.com/bollywood-starlet-jiah-khan-found-dead-apparent-suicide-083416557.html

I missed that movie Nishabd( bollywood movie )  .though read reviews about it for its unique theme and the new beautiful actress was well appreciated for her role in it   And today came to know about her death by apparent suicide .  Even her costar Amitabh Bachan was shocked and twittered "Why "  ...

The cause of an individual suicide is often not what it seems to be ...(wikipedia for details of suicide causes ) . Though in our simplicistic view a jilted relationship or loss of job is obvious cause then why people with perfect jobs and perfect relationships commit suicide .  And why majority of people who are in bad relationships , unemployed for decades and even people with no arms or legs  dont commit suicide .  If we say they have better mental strength  again statistics and available data on completed suicides prove us wrong  .

Long ago i was in the autopsy room staring at a freshly brought body a well built handsome man in his 20s ...  Though in 4 th Year MBBS and less of a thinker those days i was thinking why this handsome guy commited suicide  .  I just looked to the other side .  One half of his body was very muscular but the other hand which had escaped my attention on first glance was having some physical challenge  .  The point of this is as in all problems in life the first look (often the final look for most people )  will miss the real  cause .

Even in that particular case if i jump to the conclusion that the physical challenge is the cause of his suicide read this story  ...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic

Then what causes suicide .... Do children commit suicide .. which age group commits suicide more .. is it really the elderly as commonly thought  .. Though the science of suicidology has lots more to learn many answers are already obtained .

And maybe its a paradox that i blogged about mental illness just yesterday  90 percent of completed suicides have underlying mental illness as cause especially illnesses like bipolar illness .  Again if you think bipolar illness is a rare illness again wikipedia for the celebrities who have this disorder  ... The karate champion , the comedian and one of the most beautiful actresses all of them you have seen in the best movies all have bipolar illness  ..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Claude_Van_Damme#Personal_life
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Zeta-Jones

None of my friends or relatives so far has fallen prey to this largely preventable malady  ... But i know of cases of attempted suicides in my friend of friends circle ..  And the only way to prevent this great loss to both the individual as well as their loved ones is to know about the proper causes and get proper treatment without the stigma .

As a soceity we can do the following  :
1.  Create a suicide hotline which is easily accessible and efficient  ..
2 . Better utilisation of mental health services including for "depression " which is the common cold of mental illnesses but deadly
3 . Eliminate the stigma of mental illness ( Remember long ago  leprosy also had stigma )
4. Be supportive or at least dont create problems for others  (  Kerala has 3 times suicide than national average ..Reasons in my earlier blogs  )

Dedicated to Jiah Khan ...as a movie buff  ...

personality disorders ....

                                                  It was long ago  .....I saw an experiment by a person which if it happened this day and age would have landed him in prison.  He took a cute cat attached two electrodes to it using his low voltage generator and was trying his best to shock the cat  .  Probably poor connections or the cat was lucky the experiment failed .  Then i didnt realise it but as i passed MBBS and had a pet interest in psychiatry  i realised the cat was really lucky to have escaped from this man .  He was suffering a classic case of personality disorder .  In retrospect his behaviour and almost all his actions strongly suggested a personality disorder .  But  the lack of awareness and also because he was a high functioning person he merged with the soceity contributing to the soceity positively economically but adding his negative contribution to soceitys illbeing  .  If you think his subordinates or family members were luckier than the cat let the belief save you  cos i know the truth  ...

Knowledge is power  . Because if we learn (internet from good medical websites ) and observe we find many of the problems seen in soceity on all scales have their route in psychiatric illness of a few members of the soceity  . http://www.injurynet.com.au/documents/Article%20-%20Personality%20Disorders%20in%20the%20Workplace%20Series%20-%20M.%20Unterberg%20-%20Business%20%20Health%20-%20June-Oct%2003.pdf

Though this is an extensive article check specifically the examples of the drama queen (histrionic personality disorder ) and the narcissistic personality disorder (the bad boss and even some coworkers  )   .  They are interesting and dont tell me you havent seen such types in your personal and professional lives .  Nowadays the workplace influence of these personalities is increasingly being discussed even in social forums and increasingly competent organisations are taking effort to recognise these individuals and take corrective action .

But the saddest part is when these personality disorders affect personal lives . Imagine a close relative with any of these disorder .. (Mind you they hardly look like "your " concept of the mentally ill  ) .  And inspite of the social stigma and the denial of the soceity various forms of "minor " mental illnesses make upto 20 -30 percent of population personality disorders included .. ( google for details  )   . And just like fever and cancer are different  each is fascinating in its biochemical and social basis but devastating when it occurs  . And the paradox is that because of stigma few of the public in india know about it but many know the effects of "unrecognised " illness in the social spheres in which they interact  .

                                                                               I will revisit this topic soon because these days taboo topics are opened up even in tv  .. first with discovery channel but nowadays even in our conservative malayalam channels  .  And with the tremendous knowledge , support groups , treatment options available etc its high time whenever a problem occurs in professional and personal spheres which is significant high time its looked into in a psychiatric angle .. For at least some of them is caused due to individuals with undiagnosed mental illness many of them high functioning .

PS  : All problems are not due to psychiatric illness .  But if you observe carefully and talk to multiple people have problems with the same person and if it fits an established pattern it would be in best interests of all to get that person to counselling or treatment  .  Psychiatry has made tremendous strides and if you still believe it is practised like as in "One who flew over the cuckoos nest "  time to check the year on your calendar ... Its 2013   ...the age of functional MRI where scanners have started reading your minds  ...

marriage some random thoughts

Today was reading O Henrys short stories and i selected one story at random and read it  . Probably mere coincidence but that one, the "gift of Magi " ,was about the love of a couple .  And we should remember that Henry wrote this short story 100 years back when marriage was not viewed primarily for "companionship " and " love " but rather more for its social and economic reasons .But even then his stories were highlighting the beautiful love and companionship in marriage .  Even Henry had his marriages based on love the first one he proceeded inspite of opposition as his wife had tuberculosis a deadly disease during that time and long after she died he got married to his childhood sweetheart .

Now fast forward 2013  .  Not at all a tv addict  i just chanced upon two talk shows yesterday and today on kerala malayalam channels . I vouch that it was pure coincidence that both the programs happened to  be on marriage  .  ( Seems like everyones minds is on marriage these days  )  .  The themes of both programs was very good . Yesterdays one was focussed on a couple a karate couple with karate kids .  Apparently all of them were blackbelt karates ( impressive )  . But the drama /immaturity that followed i found hard to believe .  After 15 years of marriage with two big kids and seemingly happy from outside the husband a 5 th dan karate was crying on tv  saying that he was grossly unhappy that his wife still told him that she didnt love him 100 percent  . Apparently she loved him 50 percent only ( i  checked my ears  ... this is adult mature conversation or kindergarden kids ?? ) . And the reason for the 50 percent was she had a lover 15 years back and she couldnt marry him due to family opposition  .  Anyway i am optimistic that the topic of marriage is being discussed but a little sad that seemingly "happy " couples on the outside were really worse than kindergarden children in their relationship goals  .  Having seen quite a few like that i am not surprised however  ..  

If yesterdays was a bad dream todays was really a nightmare . A popular talk show with lots of audience and a dozen experts in the field : topic is should pre-marital counselling and advice be given to newly about to be married couples . Nice theme and relevant topic .  But what i was not prepared for was the way the talk show proceeded .  Adult men in the audience  consisting of men and women telling long lectures on  orgasms , that sex is the only basis of marriage etc using all the malayalam words in all its vulgarity(mind you this was the audience shouting as if they were the experts on both sex and marriage  )   .  For a moment i thought whether it was some adult movie  .Then i thought whether it was some paraphilia  (refer wikipedia )  support group  .    And the worst part is most of them were answering with no relevance to the questions asked .  Assuming that the audience is picked at random and since multiple adult men were telling in vulgar language the details of sex  and thats the only basis of marriage i couldnt help but conclude that in kerala soceity at least a sizeable proportion of older men have very perverted views of marriage .  The experts were relatively silent thanks to the talk show host who was more excited in hearing this nonsense than conducting the show properly . 

I have written a few blogs on the uniqueness of kerala soceity in some things and it was disturbing to see really perverted views on a subject which as an educated group should discuss with greater understanding  .  

And i am strongly for pre-marital counselling . At least then we can to some extent prevent such perverted minds from developing and creating trouble for the future spouse .  The other option is at least read O. Henry stories which shows marriage is based more on finer emotions and bonding rather on the  animal instincts  which comes only number 2 priority in really happily married couples .. 

Comments welcome ...