The good ,the bad and the ugly is a favourite movie of mine from western genre . See it if you havent watched it . But as i told earlier this is about the good , bad and ugly people i have seen in my life . Hey i am not going to give that list however in this public forum .
Long ago as everyone else i believed there were only good people in this world (that was when i was a child ) . Then as i grew up i realised people though they behave good, bad or ugly during various times could be predominantly classified as good ,bad or ugly depending on their predominant behaviour .
Due to my extensive travelling and meeting so many people from various regions of varied economic, religious, cultural backgrounds in the last few years my classification changed further . I realised there were of course many good people ( many of them are my friends too ) but i found i stopped finding bad and ugly people(in behaviour not appearance) . Hey ,come on , has this earth become heaven suddenly ? No, i found there were only good people , selfish people . The point is these bad and ugly people were actually just selfish people. Let me explain ..
If there are two pieces of bread and one person eats both of the pieces while other person is starving , though it may look like the second person is bad in actuality he is not "bad" in his intentions . He just was acting selfish disregarding the starving person . As i told in one of my earlier blogs often many people both good and "bad" confide in me and without exception i have found that these "bad" people are just intensely selfish people who dont realise the impact that they are making on others . And they are really surprised that they are making a negative impression on the victim . Initially i tried to reason with them , but then i realised they were so much self centred and lacked empathy that they couldnt understand other peoples problems by their behaviour . Though i havent done a statistical study i have found that these intensely selfish people are less compared to the good people . And that is indeed good news .
Now what about the ugly people ? Is there such a category . Though rarer compared to the "bad " people and the common "good"people this breed is also intensely selfish .Then what is the difference between the bad and the ugly ? In our two piece bread example while the bad person eats the starving persons share of bread , the ugly person also does similar things -- eats both the pieces of bread . But the key difference is when someone enquires who ate the bread the bad guy keeps mum while the "ugly" guy points all his fingers at the starving man .
Has this revised classification helped me in my dealing of people . Yes . Many years back i used to get really irritated with both the not uncommon "bad " people and the rarer "ugly " people . I only liked good people . But nowadays i find even "bad" people confide in me so obviously i have found better ways of dealing with them . Since i found that they were intensely selfish people but with a few good qualities i started focussing on their good qualities and totally ignoring them when they were in their selfish sprees . The key was i never started loving them but started tolerating them by focussing on their few good qualities .
What about the "ugly "(behaviour ,not appearance ) people ? Though rare i found them the worst to tolerate
always . Not only me but most of the problems people had was due to this 5 percent of the population who are intensely selfish as well as scheming . Since i am no Gandhi or Jesus Christ and I being empathetic get really irritated when these people play havoc with other peoples lives for their benefit .These characters i ignore them like the plague and if still they create too much trouble i make sure that while they are eating the second piece of bread make sure that all the good and bad guys are watching . The last thing these people want is their selfish methods out in the open .
It might be utopian to imagine a world free of selfishness and filled only with good people .. But at least lets make it a little better place by ostracizing the selfish people especially the ones who blame others after their selfish acts .
Long ago as everyone else i believed there were only good people in this world (that was when i was a child ) . Then as i grew up i realised people though they behave good, bad or ugly during various times could be predominantly classified as good ,bad or ugly depending on their predominant behaviour .
Due to my extensive travelling and meeting so many people from various regions of varied economic, religious, cultural backgrounds in the last few years my classification changed further . I realised there were of course many good people ( many of them are my friends too ) but i found i stopped finding bad and ugly people(in behaviour not appearance) . Hey ,come on , has this earth become heaven suddenly ? No, i found there were only good people , selfish people . The point is these bad and ugly people were actually just selfish people. Let me explain ..
If there are two pieces of bread and one person eats both of the pieces while other person is starving , though it may look like the second person is bad in actuality he is not "bad" in his intentions . He just was acting selfish disregarding the starving person . As i told in one of my earlier blogs often many people both good and "bad" confide in me and without exception i have found that these "bad" people are just intensely selfish people who dont realise the impact that they are making on others . And they are really surprised that they are making a negative impression on the victim . Initially i tried to reason with them , but then i realised they were so much self centred and lacked empathy that they couldnt understand other peoples problems by their behaviour . Though i havent done a statistical study i have found that these intensely selfish people are less compared to the good people . And that is indeed good news .
Now what about the ugly people ? Is there such a category . Though rarer compared to the "bad " people and the common "good"people this breed is also intensely selfish .Then what is the difference between the bad and the ugly ? In our two piece bread example while the bad person eats the starving persons share of bread , the ugly person also does similar things -- eats both the pieces of bread . But the key difference is when someone enquires who ate the bread the bad guy keeps mum while the "ugly" guy points all his fingers at the starving man .
Has this revised classification helped me in my dealing of people . Yes . Many years back i used to get really irritated with both the not uncommon "bad " people and the rarer "ugly " people . I only liked good people . But nowadays i find even "bad" people confide in me so obviously i have found better ways of dealing with them . Since i found that they were intensely selfish people but with a few good qualities i started focussing on their good qualities and totally ignoring them when they were in their selfish sprees . The key was i never started loving them but started tolerating them by focussing on their few good qualities .
What about the "ugly "(behaviour ,not appearance ) people ? Though rare i found them the worst to tolerate
always . Not only me but most of the problems people had was due to this 5 percent of the population who are intensely selfish as well as scheming . Since i am no Gandhi or Jesus Christ and I being empathetic get really irritated when these people play havoc with other peoples lives for their benefit .These characters i ignore them like the plague and if still they create too much trouble i make sure that while they are eating the second piece of bread make sure that all the good and bad guys are watching . The last thing these people want is their selfish methods out in the open .
It might be utopian to imagine a world free of selfishness and filled only with good people .. But at least lets make it a little better place by ostracizing the selfish people especially the ones who blame others after their selfish acts .
Yhea ! i agree to this totally. The thing is that ''we cannot change the world we are in , but we can be better with people who are in this world''.Fact that we are humans, we should not be selfish and sharing compassion on our fellow mates makes us unique from other species.Avoid company with selfish centered people and help only the helpless.Even a selfish guy doesnt wish to have a friendhship with the same :)
ReplyDeleteRauf here......lol
ReplyDeletethanks for the comment . Yes selfish people create problems both for others and even for themselves . I have seen many who ask finally "why i am not happy ? " and "why am i alone " ...
ReplyDelete