kahaani and 22 female kottayam

Language,religion and culture is not a barrier for the basic human nature and emotions . And nowhere is it better illustrated than the world of cinema .

I saw the hindi film kahaani and the malayalam film 22 female kottayam both blockbusters . Though the plot of both films are entirely different both are women centric films . Kahaani is about an almost full term preganant lady coming from london in search of her missing husband in kolkata . From the scene 1 i was thinking why that film was particularly shot in kolkata and that too during Durga Pooja . The final scene gives answer to this for there is a "Durga " -- the hindu goddess in every woman .

22 Female kottayam is a malayalam film about the ubiquitous malayali nurse typically from the eastern parts of kerala which is a global phenomenon . Whenever i saw the trailer of the film i was thinking it was something about the romantic life of a nurse in a faraway land . But the plot is quite different and the ending is also quite different . This is also the story of a ladys revenge . See both the movies as both wont disappoint you .

                     Now thinking away from the movies and thinking about gender equality its known that generally in many places even in this 21 st century women are treated badly . But the fact remains that she is the creator of life and the "nurturer " be it as a mother ,lover or wife . In some ways i feel she is more equal than men .  As these movies show unlike men , women need extreme provocation to be away from her nurturer role and take on the role of the mighty goddess Durga  where she causes destruction with a cause . 
Both the movies address existing social problems and they are a sort of wake-up call to address these issues . 

the good ,the bad and the ugly ...and i am not blogging about the movie

The good ,the bad and the ugly is a favourite movie of mine from western genre . See it if you havent watched it  .  But as i told earlier this is about the good , bad and ugly people i have seen in my life .  Hey i am not going to give that list however in this public forum .

Long ago as everyone else i believed there were only good people in this world (that was when i was a child ) . Then as i grew up i realised people though they behave good, bad or ugly during various times could be predominantly classified as good ,bad or ugly depending on their predominant behaviour .

Due to my extensive travelling and meeting so many people from various regions of varied economic, religious, cultural backgrounds in the last few years my classification changed further . I realised there were of course many good people ( many of them are my friends too )  but i found i stopped finding bad and ugly people(in behaviour not appearance)   . Hey ,come on , has this earth become heaven suddenly ?  No,  i found there were only good people , selfish people .  The point is these bad and ugly people were actually just selfish people.  Let me explain ..

If there are two pieces of bread and one person eats both of the pieces while other person is starving , though it may look like the second person is bad in actuality he is not "bad" in his intentions . He just was acting selfish disregarding the starving person .  As i told in one of my earlier blogs often many people both good and "bad" confide in me and without exception i have found that these "bad" people are just intensely selfish people who dont realise the impact that they are making on others .  And they are really surprised that they are making a negative impression on the victim . Initially i tried to reason with them , but then i realised they were so much self centred and lacked empathy that they couldnt understand other peoples problems by their behaviour .  Though i havent done a statistical study i have found that these intensely selfish people are less compared to the good people . And that is indeed good news .

Now what about the ugly people ?  Is there such a category . Though rarer compared to the "bad " people and the common "good"people this breed is also intensely selfish .Then what is the difference between the bad and the ugly ?  In our two piece bread example while the bad person eats the starving persons share of bread , the ugly person also does similar things -- eats both the pieces of bread .  But the key difference is when someone enquires who ate the bread the bad guy keeps mum while the "ugly" guy points all his fingers at the starving man  .

Has this revised classification helped me in my dealing of people . Yes . Many years back i used to get really irritated with both the not uncommon "bad " people and the rarer "ugly " people . I only liked good people . But nowadays i find even "bad" people confide in me so obviously i have found better ways of dealing with them .  Since i found that they were intensely selfish people but with a few good qualities i started focussing on their good qualities and totally ignoring them when they were in their selfish sprees .  The key was i never started loving them but started tolerating them by focussing on their few good qualities  .

What about the "ugly "(behaviour ,not appearance )  people ?  Though rare i found them the worst to tolerate
always . Not only me but most of the problems people had was due to this 5 percent of the population who are intensely selfish as well as scheming .  Since i am no Gandhi or Jesus Christ and I being empathetic get really irritated when these people play havoc with other peoples lives for their benefit .These characters i ignore them like the plague and if still they create too much trouble i make sure that while they are eating the second piece of bread make sure that all the good and bad guys are watching .  The last thing these people want is their selfish methods out in the open  .

It might be  utopian to imagine a world free of selfishness and filled only with good people .. But at least lets make it a little better place by ostracizing the selfish people especially the ones who blame others after their selfish acts .

Doctor X

Long ago i passed the PLAB exam part 1 to goto UK . Sametime i got Radiology PG in india and decided to finish my postgraduation . One day i casually met one of my superseniors . When i told him i got PLAB he laughed and told me " Why anyone wants to go and be a housesurgeon there when you can make millions here "  .  I knew that doctors in india were underpaid in junior ranks though they did great service to the soceity .  But this guy was confidently telling he could make millions .  I thought he was really stupid and joking . I met him again in the span of ten years two more times and day before yesterday met another classmate of him ( a non-doctor ) who told about this Doctor Xs whereabouts  and what made him tick  .

Apparently this Doctor X was the best student right from his school days .  Extremely good at his diagnosis he was equally good at ordering slew of investigations from blood test to CT scans for every case . And he openly admitted  that he used to get commision from the labs and other establishments . .  Even  some leading politicians were impressed by him because he told them I will give you the best diagnosis but i do take commisions from labs  . Because of the dictum you cannot fool all of the people all of the time i was expecting after these many years he would have landed behind bars  .  But i was shocked to hear that he was abroad earning around 1 million rupees per month  . 

As far as i am concerned being not a lover of quick money i dont find his life story inspiring .  But  i  am amazed at his confidence and focus when he told that he would make millions before he was 45 . And a little thought is crossing my  mind  " If  many of the politicians in this country who are relatively uneducated can be extremely corrupt and loot the people and the people turn a relative blind eye to them ,  why dont the people take the initiative to pay these highly educated doctors in government service with the salaries they deserve . "  Maybe that will prevent many from following the path of Doctor X in government service . Doctor X though seemingly unprincipled and unethical did follow one principle " When in Rome do as the Romans do  ".  He saw the uneducated or relatively lesser educated people doing less work and making lot of money by unethical means and he must have thought if they can do it why cant he do the money making even better ?  And these same people must have told him to do selfless service for the least salary when they were looting the public money by corrupt means .  Will there be more Doctor Xs ? 

I have met innumerable people who have told that doctors should give free service , doctors consultation fee are exhorbitant etc . Its an ignorant remark if you actually think of it inspite of appearing highly humanitarian. In these days even if the doctor makes his consultation fee (which is his means of his livelihood after long years of studies ) free there is no use as cost of medication is many times his consultation fee . Is the same free service be asked from medical stores ? Or can you get the most essential thing : free food when you are hungry  ?  As long as we dont get these free and we are living in a consumerist soceity let us pay the people according to the service they do to the soceity . 

On filter coffees and ambulance driving doctors

I am biased but with reason .  Having travelled the length and breadth of the country approximately 100 + times i say Tamilians are one of the most humble people in this country  .  Its not only because i am in tamil nadu off and on for the past one month but seriously this thought runs through my mind whenever i set my foot on this state be it coimbatore,chennai, madurai or kanyakumari  . 

I  know many highly educated and immensely rich people in this state who are extremely humble in their dealings with even the lowest rungs of soceity . And this week i was pleasantly shocked to hear of an ambulance driving doctor . No.. he is not an unemployed one who has switched careers to drive an ambulance . He is earning at least 1 crore per annum  (no exaggeration )  . This guy whenever his ambulance driver is on leave helps to transport patients by being the driver himself .  How many of us are ready to do that  ?  If you say this guy is an exception i strongly disagree . In the same state of Tamil nadu i have seen a big hospital owner ( worth many crores ) sitting everyday at the casualty door . And even a electrical helper boy can go straight to him without any appointment any time of the day .  There are no people to bypass or doors to be opened as he is at the casualty gate .  I have met the occasional disproportionate humility in other states but tamil nadu leads by miles  .  (not that all people there are humble though ...) 

Though generally i find most of the people who profess religion strongly to be hypocrites ,paradoxically   for the above observation about tamil nadu  my explanation is their strong religious background .  I feel these people have imbibed the true essence of religion or spirituality in that they consider themselves nothing before the supreme power .  That attitude maybe explains the extreme humility found in this state of india  .
If you are "truly " religious 1 crore per annum doesnt make you any superior to anybody . 

And regarding filter coffee ... if this biased human (myself ) says that tamil nadu filter coffee is the best in india  and the most value for money (even better than the barista and coffee day ) and you disagree with me  ...
I have no comments ...
fan of MGR ,Kamal haasan and Rajnikant 

sylvester stallone and some little thoughts

I loved first blood ... Its one of my favourite movies .  But this blog is not about first blood but about the recent tragedy in sylvester stallones life  . His son is no more .  Todays news has told that stallone has asked for more compassion from the public or rather to respect his childs memories  instead of dissecting his death  .  My deepest condolences to this father . Even this ultimate macho man has opined that the death of a child is one of the ultimate pains a human being can endure . 

Recently i saw a 70 + year old man who was a highly influential doctor  . Though he never got angry at me he was noted for his fiery temper .  On the initial days of my aquaintance i felt angry at him because he used to snap at many people for smallest of reasons .  But within few days my anger turned to the deepest sympathy for this man (note his age also )  a few months back lost his only son in a tragic accident .  Losses at any age are not pleasant but you dont have to be a father to understand the impact of death of an only child especially when you are elderly  .  

The famous singer whom i admire Chitra also recently lost her only daughter in a swimming pool drowning accident . When that happened the public too had their greatest sympathies for her , because not only she was a great singer Chitra was known as a great person too


Human life is full of paradoxes or rather at least i find it because so many people confess their life to me .  To give an example recently i met a man who is deeply sad .  This man was born into  a well to do family  but his parents "presented " him to his grandparents when he was just a few months old .  The reason : they were busy making money  in a foreign country .  When he grew up they showered their gifts etc to his younger siblings and literally ignored him . Now around 30 years of age  his parents even refused to allow him and his wife to enter the family house and currently are in the process of making a will to exclude him from family property . 

. 

Whats the message from these four incidents ?  I dont know . But i feel these should prompt us to think in a more balanced way towards life .  In balanced i mean give the right balance in life in relationships , earning a livelihood and spirituality . To make it more clear , counting relationships in quality than quantity , avoiding money as the sole goal in life except as a means to live a life and being spiritual instead of the rituals which these days symbolify religion . 

Because i see so many people really chasing money  -- my only question is how much money can compensate the loss of a child ?

haroonkerala@gmail.com

How to kill a zebra ... a lions perspective

I love animal planet and the great photography and direction of its programs .  Though its about animals i have learnt many a life lesson observing what animals do . 

I am always fascinated by the lions hunting their prey .  Though very powerful beasts their planning and skill in hunting reminds me about the ideal way of approaching lifes challenges .  I am not telling you to stalk the challenge like a lion does but understand the factors which determine the outcome in any of lifes challenges ..

                                                       They (the lions ) do meticulous planning in an attack . There are even specialised ones who are the strikers who bring down the prey , ones who do a mock attack to make the prey run towards the striker etc .  And coming to the striker itself  though powerfully built they know clearly that three things are key to success :  the technique , intense focus and attacking the vital areas. 

Nowhere its demonstrated clearly than when in one of the scenes the lion is seen biting the throat and then propelling itself 180 degrees with the jaw firmly clutched to the large prey animals throat .  Lion understands that though its poweful it requires not only its teeth and claws to bring down large prey especially cape buffalo which can even kill the predator .  Thus to bring down a 800 kg + victim it uses its entire bodyweight (200 kg approx)  .  The point to be learnt from the lion is never underestimate a problem though you think that you are equipped to deal with it  .  To quote a simple example many  very intelligent students do poorly in the exams because they underestimate the task at hand thinking that their brains alone will do the job .  And taking lifes challenges as another example , you must have seen people who come out of the ultimate challenges victorious when they were even handicapped . The  key here was they used their full body weight or in other words used cent percent of their limited abilities to tackle that problem . 

Have you seen any lion killing its victim by biting its cheek .  Clearly its not possible or rather extremely unlikely  .  Usually lions go for the throat , the windpipe or the spinalcord (yes their teeth have a gap behind so that while teeth sever the cord the gap fits in the vertebrae .  ). Lesson learnt in life from it ? 

Just like the lions approach for any challenge or wish in life the key thing is identifying the vital areas to attack  .  There is no use in randomly biting the cheek or tail  .  (in lion language )  .  eg :  from real life  .  Do you know what is the weakest spot if you want a gym body  or even want to trim down your excess fat . Is it the bench press or spending 3 hrs on the gym .No  .   Its one simple thing  " overcoming the initial inertia in hitting the gym "  . If thats tackled God save me if you dont lose your excess fat or look muscular in 3-6 months . Similarly for a non-physical challenge like having good friends its no use chasing each and every random aquaintance to make your friend . Instead it is best to understand yourself and concentrate on  one or two people whom  you want to make real friends and spend quality time with them instead of the 100 + random people whom you come across . 

Meanwhile watch animal planet to learn some lessons from these beings who in many way are much more refined than us in their approach  .  Agree or differ ?  Comments plz...

Satyameva jayathe and some very little thoughts

I saw two episodes of Satyameva Jayathe by Amir Khan and am really liking the themes he has chosen and the way it is handled where the topics are well demonstrated with interviews etc . Hats off to him for he is an exception among celebrities who has always stood for social causes unlike many celebrities  who make extra money during their sparetime with their ads promotions  from slippers to curry powder .

Today i saw an episode on untouchability and the treatment of low caste people in certain parts of the country .  There was some scenes showing low caste people being not allowed in temples and when the low caste rallied with a member of partliament who was from lower caste the main priest to avoid confrontation simply locked the temple door and left .  (Does Gods house have a closed door ?  I dont know ) 

Last week i was talking to a new found friend of mine . He was not from a lower caste but from a casteless religion -Christianity .  His observation was different . Apparently the church he visited had benches inside and depending on the type of clothes he wore the seats next to him were occupied or not . When he wore clean but simple clothes the particular church with many rich patrons had difficulty in people sitting next to him . But these days when he wore branded clothes his sideseat was always occupied .  Being  a devout Christian he observed that Christ is seeing all this from above  . 

Organised religion as the above examples show has never stood by the weak or downtrodden .  My observation has almost always showed me that wherever organised religion is professed there exists strong hypocrisy .  And one of the most blatant example of this is that sizeable  number of people killed during the last thousand years was in the name of religion ---- and all major religions teach to love another. Isnt there a paradox here ?  There is no paradox  because religions say love another of the same religion . And various religions have even descriptions of which people go to hell and that includes the non-believers in that particular religion . 

What is the solution ?  For one religion organised or unorganised should be made personal . Why should there be a large collection of believers when the main connection is between you and God ? 

Another solution which i had always thought but today was endorsed by a famous documentary director in todays Satyameva Jayathe episode . Encourage inter-religious and intercaste  marriages . How can you speak in bad terms about another religion when your spouse/in-law is from another religion ...

And correct me if i am wrong here .... I was very impressed by the Golden temple when i visited punjab and not only the free lunch concept but i didnt find a gate there blocking my way when i entered ..