the consumer --know thy rights

You should never write a customer feedback on a sunday afternoon . Because not only your siesta will be disturbed but others too . Let me explain ...

Having checked into a star hotel I was surprised that the hot water tap was giving cold water , the room service was quite unfriendly ,unclean laundry . Having been used to better service in most hotels this time I decided to give a feedback in the hotel website . After all being the new age indian consumer I have a right to inform the management that I was not happy .

I had expected a reply mail maybe after a couple of days or that my feedback would be ignored . The " sorry we regret ...." formal reply to the formal feedback . But to my shock within half hour on that sunday afternoon there was knock on my door . Three hefty people walked in and introduced themselves . They told and indeed did their best to rectify the grievances . All were senior managers who were relaxing at their homes . I don't know who was more sorry me or them . Because in that particular hotel the feedback directly goes to the CEO . And he had personally seen to it that the consumer grievance was rectified within half an hour .

Another place .. Another time 1000 kms away . The same consumer was admiring a brand new sportsbike . After the usual five minute enquiry the consumer was asking a few more questions about the new bike . And the saleswoman took the consumer to the manager . For a moment the manager looked up from the paper he was writing . He didn't like the disturbance . After all a consumer who has come to buy a bike should buy it and go . And he was visibly annoyed when a testride was asked . Probably he was thinking "Dude , you buy it and do testride " .

Anyway thanks to countless outings with ladies ( :) relatives ,friends etc ) to textile shops the art of saying No and going to the next shop was reluctantly done . This time being an idiot the consumer asked the same silly questions . The saleswoman took him to the manager . But instead of annoyance he patiently answered all the silly questions as well as arranged a test ride . He personally came for the testride as the mechanic was gone out with another customer . And the deal was signed within a few minutes

These two instances which happened to me in the last one year is just to say that as a consumer give your feedback as often as possible positive or negative and also never hesitate to walk away to the next shop when you are not happy with the service . And thanks to all the ladies (again implying relatives and friends etc ) who taught me the art of walking away after seeing the dresses in many many shops . (have seen few men do it as the last time my uncle and me went to shop for a gift it was done in 6 minutes in a cloth shop filled with thousands of dresses .. I timed it :) )

bangalore days ....NOT the movie

Each city has a character just like people . From the small town feel of Munich to the sleepless Mumbai with its filmy glitz I love to watch the cities in action .

After a long time I visited Bangalore again . Bangalore is one of the few places you can shout out windows vs android and can have a discussion right in the bus . Because the chances are 59 out of 60 people in the bus is a techie . I loved my visit this time especially cos I could watch the city more and even travel along with the techies in public transport . Though not having an extensive high tech metro system like delhi Bangalore has an extensive system of AC Volvo buses which make commuting a breeze . The traffic is horrendous even compared to Mumbai but if you factor that in (read 2 hours ) the city has everything you need .

Being a city filled with young people predominantly its no wonder that there are lots of foodie places as well as adventure places and cafes . The most beautiful cafes which are tastefully decorated I could find in Bangalore as well as every imaginable cuisine . I tried Mexican food (taco bell )and Chinese(Yo china ) this time . But what I enjoyed even more is the go karting at ezone , air rifle shooting at Nishaan club and archery at Bangalore central . Again thanks to the young people of Bangalore these things are popular easily available and needs no membership etc and other formalities .

Inspite of being a big city I found the average man/woman on the street friendly , knowledgeable and decent . Not that other cities are not like that but an educated junior bill gates as your co passenger is always a plus when you visit a city .

And every city has its best time for a ride away from the traffic . If its past 10 pm in Mumbai Bangalore is better enjoyed at 7 am . Nothing like soaking in the cold morning and the greenery of the garden city before the thousand cars arrive in peak time . And lastly learn Malayalam before going there because mallu or Malayalam is second language in this English kannada land ... 100001111 .....from silicon valley of india .. blogger from kerala ....

On kisses and cities

After the recent Kiss of Love protest in Gods own country kerala which became news even in BBC i couldnt help but think about a few random observations in my travels ..

I used to regularly drive along the sealink road in mumbai a beautiful bridge above 8 kms of sea . The approach road is a nice road which is very wide for a driving enthusiast like me .In a city like mumbai where its so densely populated and traffic is bumper to bumper at most places this road is a welcome break . But this stretch of the road is even now populated by more than 100 bikes on the side . These bikes are used by the couples to share romance . Having passed by that place in own driven car and then by taxi transport and never looked specifically public display of affection was very much evident . And to my knowledge no policeman has booked them for "immoral " acts while mumbai police is notorious in catching drunken driving which is indeed worse than any immoral act .

I started my newpaper reading properly in mumbai but the news was hardly ever filled with "immoral acts " . Not that these things were not happening but morality like many things were individual choice in mumbai ..a live and let live city .

In delhi when i went my friend was pointing to huge parks full of greenery by the roadside . He was telling unlike mumbai they have the parks for romance . Coming from kerala where romance is unknown:) :) t smiled when he was comparing mumbai and delhi ..

When i went to jaipur to see the huge forts (they are impressive and a must see ) on the way passed huge parks near the jungle . My friend told recently one couple were surprised by a wild animal while romancing . Of course the "wild animal " attack made news but not the couples romance .

Goa , delhi, mumbai ,jaipur , most places i went couples were left alone . Their newspapers were focussed on better things than sex scandals, secret cameras etc

Time and again i think are they indians or we keralites are indians upholding the indian culture . In our 5000+ year culture we had a morality which was shaped not by any dated victorian standards . In the land of Kamasutra kiss public or private still has a role . False morality does not .. Let me rest my case .. PS : This is my opinion . I am not encouraging or discouraging kissing in public or even in private . My point is individual freedom is most important even in this "immoral " act ...with kisses :)

kiss protest in Gods own country

I was surprised at the news i saw on facebook .
http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/sunday-kiss-day-kerala-kochi-protest-moral-policing-kozhikode-bjp/1/398058.html

These days lots of discussion is going on about morality and what is acceptable and what is not acceptable . But unlike other soceities where at least definition of morality is more defined we have a peculiar problem . Our newspapers are having frequent stories of "penvanibham " in which many men are involved and many of them involve underaged girls and lots of men . Having lived in metro cities and abroad i couldnt see this level of moral degradation even in those liberal soceities .

Just last week we had a famous musician passing a comment regarding a garment as simple as a jeans in the modern era . The instances are numerous where kerala is trying to be ultraconservative while displaying extreme double standards behind the scenes .

It is in this context that suddenly the frustrated youth is planning to celebrate a kiss day . Maybe its a small shock therapy but its indeed need of the hour . There is endless debate in online forums and tv whether this is in accordance with "indian culture " . But indian culture is more rich and unique if we search the history properly (even a wikipedia search will do ) . And the dearth of proper role models in this era for youth makes it more complicated for them . Should they be following the "morally wrong "western standards (thats what the conservative people say here ) or "morally right" behind the scenes immorality ? Should they be hypocrites or be man enough or woman enough to do what they please as long as they dont create problems for others .

India being the largest democracy and since the year is 2014 (not 17 th or prehistoric era )its high time that people have the freedom to choose what they want as long as they dont disturb others . And before really pointing fingers at youth think in private how moral you are in thought , words and deeds . And clean up the underage exploiters before trying to prevent kisses . Public or private i believe, kiss is essential for survival of the species . Kiss of life included :)

Freddie mercury , mitsubishi evo and malavika .....music

It all makes sense now ... I am sure most of you know Freddie Mercury one of the greatest singers in western music . But i was often puzzled why Bohemian rhapsody became so famous of all his songs . Even for music lovers that particular song oscillates between pop/rock , opera and other music genres . Recently on my musical journey analysing music i read freddie mercury had one of the highest "vocal range " in music . He could go from a deep baritone ( wikipedia ) to a high tenor or even beyond . And in addition to his flamboyant stage persona this particular song he was showing the flamboyance of his enormous musical range which cannot be achieved by most singers .

Though i love music somehow i was not a great fan of music competitions on Tv . But recently i stopped with open mouth seeing a contestant in the finals of a music program . It was not the voice alone . But the enormous versatality of her voice which could do all the rapid progressions of classical carnatic music in that competition amazed me . The enormous control of her voice taking rapid turns in tempo , octave as well as "sangathi " made me feel as if i am seeing a high end sports car taking rapid turns in full speed without losing control .

Being the scientific analyst as always i am amazed at how using just the 7 basic notes music could be made . Just like the 4 bases of DNA making all the complicated DNA this itself is amazing . Equally amazing is each instrument of music with its own unique character yet joined in the basics . And how the deeply melancholic note of the violin holds its stead against the guitar . On close inspection however it remains that the "melancholic " violin is the background for most of malayalam movies , even hollywood movies and most songs . And if you felt the guitar is inferior guitar was unique in that it could do most genres from jazz to rock to classical with ease not to mention its ease to accompany vocals .

Each instrument is great by itself ,but even now though its no match for the volume of an electric guitar or a synthesizer or the octave range of a grand piano there is one instrument which is richer , used in ALL genres and till this moment cannot be synthesized in same quality ... its the human voice ... Just as most of music is amazing this fact also is amazing ..

And lastly as per my earlier blog of 101 things to do before you die list .. Make learning a musical instrument one of them if u r at least faintly interested .. You wont regret it .. And if you can sing learn vocals ....

my favorite restaurants

Each persons food taste is unique . And i am no exception . Here i just want to mention a few of my favorite restaurants over the years and why i like it . If at all you are in that city please visit these restaurants at your own peril because my cuisine can be fiery hot sometimes like andhra food , raw food like sushi or fattening .. Disclaimer is to scare the non foodies away so here comes the list :

1. Rayalseema Ruchulu : hyderabad ... Andhra pradesh is famous for both their very spicy food as well as biriyani but i like their Non veg meat dishes very much . And this hotel in the heart of hyderabad near lakdikapul area is awesome . The pleasant waiter refused to take my order for "spicy " food telling that medium spicy would be better . He was right as the medium spicy brought tears to my eyes but the meat was succulent as well as out of the world .

2. Al Bake restaurant , near baby memorial hospital , calicut , kerala : Every weekend i used to go there for years . The broasted chicken made there with imported equipment and the special sauces which they give along with it was awesome . Not to mention the kuboos which completes this arabian meal in zamorins city which had ties with the Arabs for centuries . And their date shake (dont know whether they call it saudi /dubai shake ) is a perfect drink to go along with the broasted chicken which is non spicy .

3 . Toran dining hall , ahmedabad , Gujarat : 5 waiters waiting for you and one of them giving unlimited supplies of gujarati sweets almost forcing you to eat. You have to go there for this amazing experience of the great gujarati thali unlimited . Each waiter serves almost parallelly so u wish u had 5 stomachs and for once you should keep your calorie counter at home .

4. Global fusion restaurant , Bandra west , Mumbai : Amazing sushi at prices which are cheaper than anywhere in the world . Its a buffet only restaurant with around 50 different starters and as the name suggests from around the globe . My favorite is the sushi section and on my first visit must have ate at least a quarter kilo of sushi . Prawn tempura , sliced beef with bamboo shoots all are amazing and believe me they have unlimited baskin robbins ice cream which i didnt eat because i was full with the starters . Eat starters and dont eat even the main food . My advice .

5 . Yokos sizzlers : For registered foodies this may not be a great "find " but i love their steaks and pepper steak is my favorite well done as always . Have tried a few other steak places but found other places blander . And if you eat the tasty vegetables with it it will make a full meal . And washed down with their amazing lemon ice tea .. Dont eat dessert because the key to enjoy good food is focus :)

6 . Ruposhi Bangla , Dacca , Bangladesh : I am generally not a fan of overpriced five star restaurants but this one is an exception . They have many restaurants and all of them offer delicious food and there is a themed restaurant which serves great continental fare .

7 .Roadside thattukada at vellayambalam trivandrum : mainly its nostalgia but i had the most amazing thattu dosa and the rasa vada there when i was in college in trivandrum . Very cheap but clean and awesome taste , this must have been one of the grandfather thattukadas of kerala before "thattukadas " became famous and became an everyday name .

There are many other favourite restaurants and will write about it another time .Meanwhile eat and be merry once a week and rest of the days count calories :)

Music some random thoughts

Mizhiyoram nananjozhukum ........ Manjil virinja poove parayoo nee elam poove .... It was a friday evening of our tenth standard class . Pindrop silence ..Though a "disciplined school :) " and the class was filled with "disciplined " boys meking them listen to a malayalam song that too the emotional kind was not easy task .. And i not being the great singer it was not the voice . But i still remember it was the deep haunting melody and the "feel " of the song accurately reproduced and sung unaccompanied by any instrument .

Music has that power . It conveys what words or even non verbal cues cannot . And inspite of all the Raagas ,octaves , chords , etc is based on just 7 base units . Yes from the most seemingly random noise (for non western music lovers ) of heavy rock music to the carnatic and hindustani music music has a rhythm of its own . Learning it you feel once again like a child making baby steps into a world of its own .

Coming to another random thought it reminds me of the great movie Sankarabharanam in malayalam . In it there is a scene in which loud playing western music youngsters challenge a seemingly "oldie " classical music master . Soon they were baffled at the way he sings the tunes of the western song easily . As a child when i watched that movie in theatre i realised the superiority of classical music with its superb voice control but as a teenager and adult i gradually became a western music fan . But now learning music once again i am realising that scene meant not superiority or inferiority but all music is one in the basics .

Hotel california is one of the greatest songs and nowadays i am struggling hard to master it . Having heard or thought guitar is "easy " i went online and saw the video of it and read the history of the song . Then i realised it took one and half years to produce this song and the 4 or 5 guitars including a double guitar with 12 strings showed that there is nothing "easy " in music . Its a vast ocean and learning humility and practising is the only way to navigate this enchanting sea .

And lastly a random thought about my erstwhile neighbour . Neighbour in the sense that he lived 2 kms from my home but more than 100 years past . He was a great king . But more importantly unlike other kings who appreciated music he appreciated and wrote music .. His name was Swathi thirunal the Maharaja of travancore . I read about him recently and his contribution to music was exemplary as was his contribution to his kingdom including a great legal system and university college trivandrum .

Enough random thoughts ... From Don Henley (Eagles,,,, Hotel California ) to Swathi Thirunal Maharaja music has no colour , no division . Isn't music one more reason to celebrate the unity of mankind across countries and continents ........

From sa ri ga ma to hotel california .......music learning

She was crying ... As a 10 year old i was confused whats the matter for crying .. Of course it was a beginning class of my classical harmonium and we had given her the customary betel leaf as dakshina . An ancient indian practice of respecting the guru and she was overwhelmed when we had given her the dakshina .

For me it was my first proper music lessons and mornings i was enthusiastic to go to her class where she taught me sa re ga ma along with harmonium . The divine atmosphere as well as the music kept me away from the fatal attraction . Since our all boys school didnt have music classes i went for the music classes to the nearby girls school at alleppey with special permission .

When i was in trivandrum this music study stopped except for the one day one hour music session as part of school curriculum . That was interesting not only because we could sing in that class but he used to tell us movie stories . Maybe the lack of time i used to look longingly at the guitar and drums kept in the music class .

Years passed and then i joined for guitar classes . I learnt the basic notation and nursery rhymes under that guru . But to tell frankly i stopped learning because of mosquito bite . Maybe my lack of commitment or the number and intensity of mosquito bites i quit after 2 months .

Years passed and i got a new guitar master . This time he was very good . Learnt the basics of classical music in guitar western style . When i think of him i could think not only for his great classes with full commitment but also of his punctuality . For an owl like me to wake up at 5 am was a problem . But he was so strict that he wanted me at his door exactly at 6 am . Not 5 minutes late or even 5 minutes early . Tried both :) He is no more now and i still remember him when i play the notations on guitar .

Years passed again actually a decade . Hearing the wail of the electric guitar in my favourite songs be it bohemian rhapsody by queen or hotel california by eagles never thought once again i will start learning the guitar .

As they say .... right time has come once again for my left hand to feel the sweet pain of the guitar strings and right hand strumming away ...This time an awesome teacher who is as inspiring as the previous but who belongs to the pop and soft rock genre .. He was a performer during his younger days with these very same songs ... So once again started learning ....

You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave .. (hotel california ) feeling excited and humbled at the same time learning music

Manju warrier .. in the news again

Malayalam tv channels was today mentioning manju warriers facebook post .(please refer it in her facebook page or google it )

I am happy that Manju wrote an open letter to the people reminding them that though a celebrity there are limits regarding how much the public especially the "educated " , "literate " malayali should invest in other peoples affairs . Those living in kerala and who have travelled outside the state knows the key differences of the way a typical malayali (not all ) carries a conversation . Though his own house is on fire there is an extra interest in another persons affairs and on the face negative comments are told which may or may not have a real basis of truth .

In this case why i am particularly happy is these days the actresses of the new generation are more opinionated and are brave enough to talk back . I always believe cinema esp malayalam cinema is a medium of social change . It is hence not surprising that a movie actress who has portrayed powerful roles esp women centric roles where she has stood against hypocrisy has stood up for her rights when her private life is dissected beyond a limit by the "literate " soceity .

Living in kerala i too am used to hearing and ignoring the usual share of malayali talk . Inspite of being a holy day today i was amused as well as sad when an elderly gentleman whom i am meeting after 20 years was repeatedly focussing on the negative aspects in the conversation and trying to put me down albeit with a polite smile . Just a random conversation ... but after 20 years .. and just after a holy meeting in a religious place how can he be a combination of polite arrogance . Having had my share of aquaintances across religions , states , cultures i cannot but stereotype it as the typical malayali conversation ..

And in the evening i am hearing my favorite actress reply in her facebook post .. Though i am an optimist how many more years it will take for the typical malayali to reach the standards of the other states ---the live and let live ones who are less literate compared to us ?

sundaree .... song review .. malayalam movie shalini ente koottukaari

I am like you in being a lover of melodies . Especially the melodies of 70s , 80s and 90s malayalam cinema . But haunting melodies are fewer and the song sundaree ( meaning beautiful girl ) from the movie shalini ente koottukari is one such . The song is really melodious sung by yesudas . But what is haunting is the actress in the movie shobha . Though the new generation is not familiar with her (i think) she was one of the youngest award winning actresses and was also called urvashi shobha having received urvashi award at national level . She was only 16 at that time and within a span of around two years did many great roles . And just like actor jayan who came and went in a short span of time she too like a glow worm had a very short lifespan . Is it why the song sequence is haunting because she is shown in it ?

Coming back to the song .. though the lyrics are simple(calling the beautiful one )and the song picturisation is simple ( a song sung in a college event minus the tree running sequence ) .. it symbolises an era of malayali beauty when beauty was romanticised starting with the hair .The lyrics exemplify it and with the great musical score goes really well . Malayali mankas are famous for their long hair and sundareee .. nin thumbu kettiyitta churul mudiyil thulasee kathirila choodi ... as the opening line summarises both the end tied long hair of the malayali woman and the holy thulasi leaf put in it which symbolises both romance , beauty and holiness .Shoba with the dusky complexion and of course long hair symbolises the malayali beauty of an era where romance was probably different .

Maybe the song is haunting cos the theme of the film deals with three intense affections( the plot is in wikipedia ). One between brother and sister , another between shalini (played by actress shobha ) and her friend ,and also between shalini and her lover is picturised . Intense human relationships was the theme of all the great films of the 80s called the golden age of malayalam movies and this movie was no exception . And to top it all when i was a child Venu nagavally was one of the first persons i met when i visited trivandrum as a child .who is a main character in the movie ..

So as one of the ending lines in the song ... ozhugi ozhugi njaan ariyathe ( i flowed even without my knowledge ) for reasons unexplained this song remains one of my favorites .. See the song sequence with picturisation in youtube .. sundaree(song name ) .. shalini ente koottukari (movie name ) ...

smile ...

How many types of smile are there ? There is the genuine smile from genuine happiness , the made up smile when you are forced to smile inspite of unhappiness , the fake smile when you hate the person but still want to appear civil and the innocent smile the list goes on .... These days im confused by some smiles . Let me explain .. Some time back i randomly met a friend on the road . Having known her many years back as a bubbly , enthusiastic young woman i was happy to see her still untouched by ageing . She was smiling and after sometime into the conversation as is customary in the eastern part of the world i asked her about her husband and children . She mentioned she was a widow and had a child . Divorces , widowhood etc are inevitable part of life for some people but i couldnt stop but think "why she of all the people " .. She was one of the bubbliest of the persons i knew and I couldnt digest it . And inspite of the dictum of "moving on " i was in awe at how she could continue to be smiling the genuine smile . Though i didnt probe further , she was clearly not in denial , nor was she faking a smile . It was the smile of acceptance of what fate had dished out to her ..

I dont know whats right or wrong with last two years but i keep on meeting people who smile genuinely inspite of undergoing or having undergone personal tragedies . Sometime back i saw a list of a stress rating scale and in it one of the top was divorce and death of spouse . But what about death of a child . Its said that it is a really sad event and including singer chitra who found the inner strength to smile inspite of one of the greatest tragedies . But i know more than one person whose child is having mental retardation . The three possible reactions are : getting depressed , accepting it and living life and lastly denial even if long term . Just as life is always surprising till date whomever i have seen have accepted it for what it is and still manage to smile genuinely .

I know countless people who do smile genuinely inspite of personal tragedies . Of course i hardly have a friend who does a fake smile cos they are not in my circle . Of course being friends many of them do tell about the setbacks they have faced and some of them do cry too (thats normal i think to be human ) .. But finally after sometime when they smile genuinely fully accepting that that tragedy is a part of the sum total of life i am not wondserstruck at their "strength " ... I am wonderstruck at the phenomenon of life ....

drama queen by suchitra krishnamoorthy --book review

She was the teenage sweetheart of boys of my age in teenage years .. I still remember the commercial she did with shekhar kapoor (who later became her husband in real life ) which was very romantic to say the least . Then her songs like zindagi etc . Then she was forgotten . She became shekhar kapoors wife and as is usual the public forgets her . Then , as is the usual story these days , she comes back again . Not with a new song but a new book called Drama queen , her third book .

This is not your typical book . Its a fictional memoir . The book though classified under fiction has all real names involved in her life . Of course her parents whom she calls Naana and Amma , Shekhar , her friends , even Ram Gopal Varma . People were shocked to see her smsing and proposing Ram Gopal varma and his reply which is even more shocking and honest .

Not your typical filmy gossip ,the way the lead character named Suchitra Krishnamoorthi goes through life , her marriage with Shekhar , her mother who tries to control her life even into adulthood , her friends who try to help her in her personal problems and her thoughts about them is honestly written in the book . On one aspect the book laids bare the hypocrisy of conservative moral south indian culture , on another aspect it laids bare the emotional turmoils of a girl who was and is blessed with everything life could offer -- fame , beauty and money .

When you read through it especially with a liberal mindset its very funny as she has a humorous side and laughing at yourself is the greatest thing a person can possess . But amidst the humour it exposes her deepest emotional issues as a single mother who is searching for a man (She got divorced from Shekhar years back ) . The book if you probe deeper on a psychological perspective questions parenting and how seemingly well meaning parents can play havoc with the emotional life of their children .

I think the book is a good read if you like humorously written serious topic . Its not chic lit the genre where u read a book lightly close it and go for an icecream . And of course read the book if you liked Suchitra Krishnamoorthy as a singer , actor (she acted with shah rukh khan too ) , painter or as a pretty girl from Doordarshan days ..

On doctors and patients

Having studied in a government medical college we had to compete for everything . Thanks to the liberal infrastructure spent on healthcare by the government it was difficult to get access to the full teaching facilities . And dealing with the public in many aspects during the course got an idea of soceitys expectations of a doctor as well as what it was ready to give to the professionals . I did a reasonable good job in academics . But in final year surgery posting ,when the opportunity was there to put the gloves and do PR or per rectal examination i decided it just was not worth it .I mean the PR part .

Dont get me wrong ... I was as excited scientifically as well as patient carewise to read an ECG and arrive at a diagnosis and without an iota of disgust was ready to put my gloved finger into some strangers anal passage . But outside the college , i could sense the strong sense of hypocrisy surrounding the profession . They wanted the doctor to do everything for them but when it came to respect it was a conditional respect . A job which to this day i feel is the most noble (including nurses and paramedics , then comes teachers ) was considered inferior to other jobs which were cleaner , quick money earning one and even 9-5 . That was the time when the tech majors had come to india and had started giving fabulous salaries even for freshers so comparison and ridicule was even greater

I was never bullied by my seniors in college except for the friendly introductions but outside the hospital any social gathering people had to tell only the negatives of the profession highlighted .Weekly or even daily media reports of horrible doctors their mistakes , their cruelty , their bribery etc etc were headline news . Of course it took a few years and dealing with countless patients , the people in the society , reading newspapers to get the big picture . And thats when i had my first idea about how hypocritic and thankless people can be ..

Years past .. luckily i had good visuo spatial skills (needed in radiodiagnosis my specialty ), a strong clinical base and of course technical interests (we have to learn medical physics too ) . And though even to this day i am neither disgusted nor afraid of the life giving blood or anal passage , i landed in a bloodless field of radiodiagnosis .In it even blood is black or white in colour and anal passage is shade of grey . One of the most paying specialties even after a diploma i saw the same people give tremendous respect for the money earning potential of the specialty . And for the first time i could see medicine and the interaction of doctors and patients from outside a glass screen (transparent lead glass ) .In private conversations even had to listen to patients criticising the "clinicians " . Each time i think about the surgery opd decades back and switch on again after they have finished their blame game .

I am not a cynic (i hope so ) but frankly i feel so much damage has been done by "external vested "interests . Solutions are not easy but possible to make better this scenario . Medicine is a noble profession when catering to a noble population and its a known fact that as a soceity we have regressed in mutual respect . So for such a soceity at least i prefer to scan or teach . I dont have to do PR or wake up at 2 am as a teacher or trainer earning a similar salary and getting enough respect . (same goes for radiology too in many settings ) . And i personally have the greatest respect for my clinical colleagues who do the best possible even for the most arrogant patient . But still i feel sadness for the senior doctor who goes home to give her free samples to her "rich patient" (a case of misplaced sense of duty ) in the middle of the party instead of enjoying the party as anyone else . Cant we be empathic yet in touch with our times . Shall we ?

How old are you ? Movie cast manju warrier --movie review

I recently only wrote the films reflect the soceity especially good films . Manju warrier needs no introduction as she one of the best actresses who graced the silver screen . With a hiatus from the movies for almost 15 years thanks to her marriage with actor dileep it was a welcome comeback for her with this movie .

The movie tells the story of a small time wife of a small time guy . The storyline initially is typical of the strong woman in college who settles into a small job and a family woman and who lets all her dreams hover around her husband and child . They dream about a life abroad and do their best to achieve that goal . But small incidents take place in their life which has a lasting impact on her perception on life .

The story is inspiring and very relevant . It has a message to every woman especially in their 30s and 40s .. Very realistic and summed many of my blogs together . Manju warrier has acted quite well given her more than a decade long career break . And if i say the movie is a bit personal for her too refer her personal life too from recent malayalam magazines and the internet .

A detailed analysis of the movie cannot be done at this stage without giving spoilers so stopping for now ..And lastly she looks gorgeous now more than when she was younger .. :) See the movie .. Recommended for any woman including the "new age" generation as facebook , skype and parent-child relationship is also touched in it . And for men too who value or dont value their women ...

doctors and clinical establishments act

Monisha Unni was a beautiful and talented actress in kerala . She did many great movies but her career was cut short by a tragic "accident " in kerala . Her vehicle hit an unmarked divider on our infamous roads and she died instantly. Decade has passed since her death and standards of kerala roads are pathetic still and so many people still lose their life in our roads and even the neighbouring tamil nadu has much better roads .This is just to illustrate that kerala is unique in having lots of rules (like putting reflector on divider ) but rules are mainly to harass people and incessant debate but not of any practical public good

The state of our government medical colleges are at par with other government medical colleges in india . They do a good job considering the massive amounts of patients they cater to but still due to "poor infrastructure " and a host of other reasons people still are on the floor often , some get cross infections etc . The private sector with all their alleged business tactics which the public feel they do , give very good treatment often but still people feel they should be punished because they fleece them . Investing crores of medical equipment they are cruel to pass on that to the patients instead of doing charity work . I have blogged earlier on people spending thousands on sarees while cribbing and badmouthing private hospitals for billing them .

Its in this scenario that the government is introducing clinical establishments act . Its great to know that the government is taking steps to ensure that healthcare is delivered to standards . That is not only important for the votebank but a fundamental responsibility . But in a corrupt nation like ours how far should we aim for standards . And who should oversee the standards . ? Kerala is world renowned for healthcare standards compared to rest of india .. there is even a so called kerala model . Of course that model doesnt include the patients in the floor of "government " hospitals .

The rules in the act is extensive and many of the clauses are impractical when read by any healthcare personnel . It primarily targets smaller practitioners who have smaller establishments which do a decent job of patient care with decent levels of cleanliness , decent level of cost and decent level of patient comfort . As both a doctor as well as a patient (i too get occasional small illnesses being a human being ) i know most of the clinics adhere to reasonable standards . Of course they may not be the world class standards of a Mayo clinic . And spending a paltry 2-3 dollars for a drs consultation an average intelligent patient should not expect Mayo levels of standards but still they get excellent individualised care at these clinics .

An extensive discussion of this and talking about the private doctors who are forced to remain in a thankless profession is beyond this blogs scope (i have and will blog on this later ) . But for the time being its high time that the people, not the doctors ,realise that many of the overzealous management of the profession by non professionals will ultimately harm them . % years down the line you will consult the same doctor in a big corporate hospital and you may even have to take a personal loan and cry loudly at the bill . And unfortunately that same doctor will be helpless to help you cos then he would be just an employee ...

my first patient ... on pets

It was with great hope that i put the fish hook into our pond when i was maybe 9 years old . But instead of a fish what caught the hook was a tortoise . Those who know the hide and seek behaviour of tortoise head knows how difficult it is to remove the hook from it . But i tried and succeeded in removing the hook and released the tortoise . Though a slow animal it has powerful jaws and a bite from it can crush bone .Still it cooperated in the "surgery " .

This was not my first animal encounter . I had a dotted cow as my pet when i was a child and with its pointed horns was very scary . But still i used to feed it plantain skin and it used to eat from my hand . It used to roam free in the huge compound of our ancestral home and people were a little scared of it as it had the sharpest horns among the 3 cows there . But children and animals almost always get along cos they both are uninhibited and have unconditional love .

Though i dont have the memory (except my fathers description ) at the age of 2 or 3 i used to put my hand in the mouth of the big german shepherd dog of one of my great aunts . I would beleive it because as recent as 4 years back in mumbai when i was "introduced " to a rottweiler , mastiff and boxer (all fully grown ) of my friend i could sit still when it sniffed my neck . Within a few minutes the rottweiler became my friend and even allowed me to stroke its belly .

Due to conditions at home (they say its difficult enough to bring up a child and teenager like me ) i couldnt have a pet except for some pets at ancestral home which i visited during vacations . But recently got a guinea pig as pet . (again ancestral home ) . Though the internet says it wont bite it was with a little fear that i put my hand in its cage . In strange environments animals do bite if we are not cautious in initial days . But on the second day itself it allowed me to touch it and stroke it and today am holding it and feeding it . Luckily unlike me the guinea pig didnt browse internet and learn the proper manners with strangers .

Its the truth .. Gut feel ,unconditional love and body language and lack of hypocrisy is the realm of animals , young children and a few adults . Luckily even my adult friends belong to that category ..

So since tortoises live long enough more than most humans (i think 200 years ) .. i still hope my first patient is alive somewhere .

paradoxes of love songs

Yeh zindagi usi ki hai Jo kisi ka ho gaya pyaar hi me kho gaya Yeh zindagi usi ki hai

Who has sang this beautiful song from Anarkali ? She has sang for almost all the actresses of hindi film and is called the nightingale of india . She is none other than Lata Mangeshkar one of the or rather the most melodious of indian singers immortalised by her love songs . As anyone in art knows to sing soul renderingly you have to give soul to the music while singing . There is no paradox in Lata Mangeshkar singing love songs for past 70+ years except that she is single .

Now how did i pick it up . Those who follow my blogs know that im voyeuristic when one category is involved : famous people . I read their biographies online . Now before speculations and further analysis lets stop our black and white thinking of single life and go to another famous person .

Dil saa jab saathi paya Bechaini bhi woh saath le aaya" (When I found someone like my heart He also brought sorrow with him)

Known for her poetry as above but much more known for her acting she is also a paradox . Meena Kumari , the actress , who portrayed great roles of love in movies but who had an equally tragic married life . She died of liver cirrhosis brought on by heavy drinking after a tumultous married life . A happily single woman she married Kamal Amrohi and the marriage was unhappy and ended in divorce and her premature death due to heavy drinking .

No no i am not a cynic taking out and presenting the paradoxes in personal life of some celebrities . But seeing updates of my childhood beautiful woman in television Suchitra Krishnamoorthy , the blog of the pretty girl Heera Rajagopal (film Nirnayam ), and countless others i cannot but briefly wonder about the paradoxes of love .

And the real life narrations of the happily single , unhappily single , happily married and unhappily married among my small but wide circle of friends ( they do talk to me on a deeper level ) i wont say philosophically that love is an enigma . When marriages of long duration break up and some join the "single " world (seeing these days ) then too i wont say love is an enigma . I only say hold onto the love you have and cherish it and try to find it if you dont have it this moment ..

the bold and the beautiful ...NOT the serial long time back in tv

Recently i was asked how i write my blogs . Its natural to think that i search for topics spend lots of time researching it and then write . But frankly these days topics just come to me with lot of happenings going around . Of course my daily reading on various topics help too .

As latest as today after my breakfast heard a thing. A girl from our conservative soceity doing the unthinkable . Getting married to a person from another religion . The pottu or bindi she put in her profile pic though outwardly was a sign of defiance to her religion was more importantly a sign asserting her freedom to choose her spouse . Of cousre many religions have strict codes which say there will be punishment in the nether world if you marry thus , these days youngsters are more interested in following their heart . And as i have wrote in an earlier blog an interreligious marriage is the ultimate cure for all religious intolerance . Because when your son or son in law is from another religion however hostile you are , one part of you will hold back .

The same breakfast conversation led to me witnessing a debate between generations . Two women of two generations were telling their viewpoints about another womans life decisions . It was interesting to hear it . A particular educated woman walked out of her marriage due to the extramarital affair of her husband . The argument was that she should have stayed in the relationship inspite of the breach of trust . According to the elder lady saving the marriage was more important than the loss of self esteem of tolerating a husband who betrayed trust . The younger one was arguing that its a no brainer that she was very right in walking out and that too she should have remarried to a better person inspite of having kids from the former alliance .

With all the "complaints " about the younger generation i do find their honesty with themselves and with others and their less hypocritical outlook to life exciting . As i always believe its women of a generation itself who created their own troubles to some extent . Trying too hard to save a marriage and in the process losing out on their companionship , tolerating abusive husbands who sometimes even have a wife equivalent outside the home are all the older generation of indian womans legacy . Though a man , i find it ethical when the youngsters rebel against this one sided ethics . Of course the multifold increase in divorces as well as interreligious marriages are worrying to the soceity at large . But just like the pain of labour arent they the pain we as a soceity have to bear for a better soceity where companionship and interreligious tolerance is the basis of relationships ..

Pulsar 200NS bike review

I was reading through the question and answer session of a popular bike online site and though compassionate (am i ? ) i couldnt help laughing .. Question was .. Sir , I have a wife and a small daughter and which one should i choose KTM duke , Honda CBR or pulsar 200 NS .. I will be using it mainly for city commute with occasional highway ...

Anyone can buy any bike but this question was too much . Unlike a lamborgini its not safe for a 2 year old to be wedged between husband and wife in a sportsbike which is designed primarily for single ride and if at all a medium built agile rear passenger ..

Thanks to bajaj company and pulsar series now we have affordable bikes which can be used sportily yet can be used in day to day use . After some review searching as usual i bought a bajaj pulsar 200NS where NS stands for naked sports . Just like family name it is to show that it is designed primarily for sportiness , naked cos its not fully fared with all the extra plates on the side .

The bike is tall and looks beautiful with the contours oozing sex appeal rather sports appeal . With the big fuel tank and sloping rear seat and the liquid cooling mechanisms it definitely turned attention especially when it passed the sports enthusiasts territories in the city . Its a tad bit difficult to climb in compared to my previous bike pulsar 150 but thats expected considering its difficult even to climb a horse :)

The engine with its 23 bhp and sub 20 Nm torque is really good . I was especially impressed by its low end torque and it pulls effortlessly . I often felt the roads were inadequate for its acceleration . It has 6 gears compared to pulsar 150 (which has 5 only ) . Gear shifting is smooth though not ultrasmooth . Dont have to downshift too much unless speed is very low . Mainly because i dont speed in busy roads and also because its run in period of engine i drive fairly sedately now .

But when a KTM duke and Honda CBR came close yesterday i just gave a small unleashing (of course within speed limit ) and was amazed at the response . At 2/3 of price of a honda or a KTM duke its a real bargain especially if you are using it for sedate driving also ..

The suspension is stiffer but nowhere as stiff as KTM duke and thats important in indian driving conditions . I sometimes think about pulsar 200 NS like a presentable aishwarya Rai who both walks the ramp as well as goes shopping for you in weekdays .. KTM is like marilyn monroe .. Sorry .. its a bike review so back again ..

Tachometer is analog and speedo is digital .. Front and rear discs are pretty good . Mileage didnt check so far as its new but should give around 35 km per litre . Forgot the handling . With a small knee recess , the lack of central stand , the silencer shifted down and weight kept within 145 kg uniformly handling is superb .

In short for the excellent power to weight ratio and power to money paid ratio pulsar 200 NS is a good bet . My limited experience of less than a week . Again compared to my older bike this bike has a high pillion seat which is also fitting only an agile rear passenger . .. I donno whether to test the hard braking with a pillion rider or solo ride .. Time will tell :)

namukku parkaan munthiri thoppukal -- movie review malayalam (spoilers ahead )

Vineyards for us to dwell or Namukku parkaan munthiri thoppukal is a movie by the film director Padmarajan . It tells about the tale of a romance between two neighbours . Its a beautiful movie a cult classic in malayalam movie . If you expect a hero and heroine dancing around a tree and a typical masala this is just not it ..

For starters our heroine is an illegitimate child born out of wedlock between a house surgeon and a nurse . Knowing it a "saviour " came into their life played by actor thilakan in the movie . Soon they had a child of their own and later this saviour stepfather , our heroine , her step sister and her mom move in as neighbours to a prominent family . By this time our heroine since she was an illegitimate child was effectively treated as a servant . All her marriage proposals as well as career prospects get blocked by the step father . Soon he started molesting her too . It is at this juncture that the hero of the movie mohanlal comes into contact with her and they started loving each other . ...

Their romance is simple with verses from the bible solomons vineyards being used as words in their expression of love . But what is even more romantic is the ultimate vehicle for their romantic escapades .. It may look funny but a tanker lorry as the vehicle for their romantic adventures and that too very beautifully merged into the movie gives it a special character . True romance doesnt look for lamborghinis and ferraris ..

The relationship between the mohanlals (our hero) character and his mother is also noteworthy . She as any church going loving mother is against him loving and proposing the "uncultured " and later when she knows about it the illegitimate potential daughter in law . But as any loving parent knows ultimately the love of the child wins over their own prejudices .
,br> With great woman centric characters like Clara of Thoovanathumbikal (another cult classic ) the director doesnt leave the film like that . The heroes and heroines marriage finally gets okayed after going through all the objections . But the stepfather sensing losing control does the ultimate weapon of control . He rapes the heroine . If it was films of the 70s that would have ended in a suicide of the heroine and the murder of the stepfather by the hero .

Of course as promised our hero comes back to the neighbours house . Of course after knowing everything about the rape . He gets confronted by the stepfather who gets overpowered after a fight . Again we expect a murder . But like arjuna seeking the eye of the bird the heroes aim is not murder . He calls for the heroine . No answer . He calls again . Slowly the door opens and she steps out . The hero asks her why she didnt answer the first call ( as promised many months back ) and then hugs her and takes her to his vineyards many miles away in the tanker lorry .

Dont know whether my blog did justice to the movie but its a very romantic movie and its nice to see once again true love triumphing over every possible odds . And malayalam movies of the 80s were never masala and always had a hint (or more) of reality .. Because art is never fiction but a fictionalised portrayal of reality

the gift of the patient ---helping professions

Long ago there was a red rose in my hand . It was before i knew that "red " rose is for a different purpose . I was innocent then 8 years old . It was for my teacher . Her name was krishnaveni and she liked the gift very much . From her smile i could realise that there are a few things which really bring joy in helping professions specifically medicine and teaching .

Years later i was a practising doctor though the lowest fish in the seniority scale . But i still remember the old man who tried to give  me a few hundred rupees when his wife was discharged from the hospital . During a domestic tiff the wife had taken acid and luckily she survived . The old man was very happy and he being a farmer and not city bred wanted to show his joy by trying to give a  few hundred rupees . It was not bribe . For no one stops on the way out and tries to give  money  . My role was simple i used to visit them and enquire on her health . No treatment from my side ..

Years have past and nowadays whether we acknowledge it or not the helping professions have felt the brunt of the soceital changes .. Of course the doctors and teachers of the new era are not the angels which the patients want ( angels never practised or taught btw in any era ) ... Both sides have their own version of whats wrong with the other side .. In medicine the dynamics are different but having many teacher friends its a sad fact that the excess business intrusion has made even teaching a challenging profession to work these days ..

But even in this chaos its nice to know that there are oasis where a few patients and students acknowledge their doctors /teachers respectively and "bribe " them with chocolates , flowers etc etc to express their joy . You have to be a doctor or a teacher to realise the joy it gives more than the salary one gets .

I have had the opportunity to practise in both these professions as well as in different regions in urban , suburban as well as some overseas stints . Of course partly it was in direct patient contact but also as a radiologist which though in ultrasonography gives you the "feel " of the patient to some extent . Considering me as a constant i could realise these finer things do depend also on the persobality of the doctor/teacher but these days more importantly on where you practise .. To take some random example however you are good in an urban set up in kerala with the " over :) know it all patient " you can never feel the comfort say practising in an interior area of tamil nadu or many parts of india . Even in kerala i found the northern states (except kannoor ) suburbs to be really nice for doctors ..

Of course i never got a red rose from a patient :) but i had my share of the best loving students and patients in both the professions .. To tell the truth i chose where i worked very wisely and stayed clear of " over knowledgeable " patients as well as students who thought money brought cure and knowledge . As long as money is the main focus of soceity both teachers and doctors would do well to choose where they work and in which settings .. Comments pls ....and share if u like

Oscar Pistorius and Reeva Steenkamp

Its a tale of romance . Its a tale of murder/homicide/accident . Its a tale of undying human spirit .Oscar Pistorius tale is all this combined

Those who are following the international news about this high profile case of Oscar Pistorius may or may not have checked up wikipedia regarding both these people . If not do it now . Oscar Pistorius is a world champion in sports . Only thing is he doesnt have both his legs below the knee . Impressive . He symbolises the undying human spirit in fighting against the odds . But what fascinated me further was this double amputee after becoming world champion in paralympics with prosthetics dreamed further . He wanted to run against fast runners , the able bodied ones which are fast even for non physically challenged . In that too he won one medal .

Reeva Steenkamp looks stunning . Shes a model and quite accomplished woman in the social circles . Inspite of Oscar Pristorius being world famous considering her background she must have been a woman who could see beyond his physical challenge to love him and date him . She was his girlfriend . Of course in contemporary materialistic soceity many go after fame but she could have got many non physically challenged people as partner . In all probability she was a great woman and theirs was a romance in the true spirit (my guess ) .

She got shot allegedly by Oscar pistorius and currently an intense court battle going on whether it was murder /homicide or was it an accident . Through a locked bathroom thinking there was an intruder Oscar Pistorius shot four bullets and unfortunately she was in the bathroom at that time .

He is literally being ripped apart in court inspite of his defence that it was a case of mistaken identity and he thought that they were being attacked by intruders . And South Africa is notorious for armed robbery .

The exact truth may never be known and Oscar may or may not win the case . ( News is rife that he is very emotional in court and also that he is acting ) .But reading through his undying spirit and the gut feel about their romance i only can wish him well giving him the benefit of doubt . Afterall fate has given him the worst blows before at the age of 11 months and no human court can punish him more than that .

Your comments pls and share if you like

movie reviews --- thanutha veluppan kalathu and kariyilakattu pole - two murder mysteries

After a long hiatus i saw two older malayalam movies by the great PADMARAJAN . It was coincidental that both were murder mysteries.

Thanutha veluppan kalathu (on a cold morning ) is a murder mystery where people start dying under mysterious circumstances . The common thread among all is the victims mouth being filled with the chakiri or the inner lining of coconut husk . The pace is compelling and the lead role by mammootty as the investigating police officer is nice . There is a branch of forensics which deal with psychological profiling of the killer and mammootty leaves no stone unturned to find the killer . The serial killer has a reason for choosing the victims in this movie and the motive is beautifully shown in latter part of movie . I dont like to give spoilers but a good watch if this genre fascinates you .

When men are suspected of murder it is compelling but when three women are suspected the movie takes a different meaning . That is where kariyilakattu pole excels . Here one famous film personality is found dead at his residence . Three women are suspected and mohanlal as the investigating officer is seen more as a listener than a interrogating police . How each of the women tell their story and in doing so unravels the complex psyche of women makes this story beautiful . Of course the finding of a ladies slip on and a kerchief makes the murder seems so easy to solve but in the end the twists make the murderer seem so elusive yet so near .
Both are padmarajan movies and he was known in his analysis of complex human mind . I suggest both these movies if you are detective movie buff and kariyila kattu pole for anyone who loves serious cinema .

the red cheek and the new generation

Buses do break down . The guy was a bully .. He hit her lightly on the cheek . She didnt like it and expressed her displeasure . You know these type of guys . They persist bullying because in their narcissistic world only they have rights . He again hit her with a comb . Again she told she didnt like it . The third time he lifted the comb there was a cracking sound . Neighbouring classmates told there was steam coming out of his ears . But one thing was sure . Her retaliatory slap on his face was strong as well as a fitting blow to his ego .

World continued the same . But there was one less bully in that school . He left the school in disgrace and the cause is not exactly known but at least one percent is due to the slap . The retaliatory slapper was my young cousin who im very proud to say is the future if we want a better world .. When i asked whether she wanted a barbie doll as gift she told a bike thats another issue but the "slap " is symbolic and the right way to treat a bully .

150 years back there was a lady who instead of saying yes to the huge sum of money offered every month for being a passive ruler of her country choose to say No .. Her name was Rani of Jhansi . She knew the might of the bully which came in the form of East India company . She died fighting a war she knew for which the odds were heavily against her .. And she was a woman too in that Male chauvinistic era ..

Just as near as a few months the headlines is filled with increasing physical assaults on women in india . Now the media is so tired of reporting it that they have minimised the reporting . Of course punishments have increased but still i sometimes wonder inspite of being the "weaker " sex wouldnt it be great if women (also men ) stand up more for their rights and do not accept the bullies anywhere by being passive .

Wont a slap or walking out of a chronically abusive relationship set an example as great as Rani of Jhansi slicing the britishers with her baby strapped to her waist .. I donno .. Just some random thoughts

the gift of the husband ....serious blog

Why do you get married ? Each person has different aspirations from it and the reality can be same or different from the aspirations . Anyway a few random snippets ...

First is an article i read on outlook money about women and money . In that magazine usually dealing with the stocks , investments etc there was an article by a world famous financial analyst on women and money . In her interview she was discussing more about relationships and how after marriages many women even in the developed world have women being given household budgeting responsibility while the man takes care of the major financial decisions . She was telling that in an equal relationship that was a very unequal way . Also the concept of the housewife "asking " for money from her spouse again in a supposed to be equal relationship . This is further complicated by the fact that stay at home moms do so much work which is not only limited to taking care of children .

Second is an article i read in psychology today which explained the relation between las vegas and abusive relationships . It explains why many women and men stay in abusive relationships . In a gambling machine no one stays for long if always u get negative result . But if u get one positive result like winning a large amount of money once in a while you continue gambling .. In the same way one reason of people staying in abusive relationships is when they get intermittent positive reinforcement . Even if the overall trend is negative the intermittent rewards make them believe that all will be well in future and stick on with the relationship . The article says we should look at the overall trend .

Should you be aware of what your husband/wife does in his sparetime ? Yes and no .. There should be adequate personal space in marriages so that the marriage is healthy . But anything the husband or wife does that affects the relationship is a big NO . Even though i am against over religiosity and its rituals i do admire the pious people who are humble and do the rituals and lead a good life and still remain religious . I have seen some like that . Recently one of them was missing from work for a long time . It was known for long that she supported the family inspite of the husband who didnt look after her but spend the day gambling . Not a rare phenomenon of irresponsible husbands who live off their wives . Marriage is sacrosanct ..But he had an additional habit which impacted not only their relationship but her very life . He wanted to enjoy life more and started mainlining or intravenous drug abuse with his gambling company . It was not known whether it was complicated by womanising .

One fine day the pious woman had infection which was not coming down and tests showed she had hiv . And the husband also tested hiv positive . Luckily children were negative . She escaped death so far and probably is getting antiretroviral treatment but this was one gift which her husband could have avoided inspite of his irresponsibility towards family .

Without being sexist , i know women who have husbands who are womanisers . Of course this is deeply unethical considering that most marriages are based on trust and in the west also except cases of polyamory(refer net pls ) by mutual consent infedility is taboo . But these days its high time that people look at not only the emotional impact of extramarital liasons but also the medical angle . I hope no one wants gifts of HIV from selfish hobbies of a partner especially when one is in a committed relationship .. Or is there difference of opinion there too .. with the usual excuses of staying in abusive relationships ..

A taste of thunder ... ponmudi trip .. trivandrum

One of the reasons i am in love with trivandrum kerala is because it has so many beautiful weekend getaways so near .
I have gone numerous times to ponmudi but each trip is unique and nice . This time i went in my bike and as always bike trips are always exciting . As they say in trivandrum vazhi chodichu chodichu pokam after drinking a bonji ... i did the same minus the lime juice (bonji ) . The route passes near kowdiar palace via peroorkada then going all the way to the suburb nedumangad and then vithura and kallar . There is a place called golden valley on the way which has the jungle river kallar passing through rocky ledges . Like all jungle rivers kallar has different character in different seasons .
After vithura the hairpins start around 22 of them and bikers need not be reminded of the thrill of banking on mountain roads with a eager to accelerate pulsar bike . After the climb which passes in between forest , very thin patches of tea estate , rocky landscapes it soon flattens out to show the sheer valley deep below . Of course a photoshoot is part of the journey . And rememeber this studio of nature is just 1.5 hrs from trivandrum city . We reached the summit and though a little hot in peak of summer the journey was cool .

Thanks to my adventurous company i couldnt rest in the top of ponmudi . Mr lazy bones (me of course ) was asked to climb the nearest hill . I protested to no avail and after a mutton puffs and a glass of water i climbed the nearby hill trekking all the way up . After reaching the summit saw that there was easier way on the other side . But the climb was worth it ..

Return journey was exciting . Half way down it was raining heavily and soon thunder started in full swing . Though not recommended i didnt stop the bike and travelled in the rain for almost 15 kms . When thunder was too much made a stop and had a hot chai and omlette in the nearby hotel . Omelette was the lunch at around 4 pm .. Asking the way back to the nice local people of suburbs (i am excellent with routes :) ) finally reached home by evening after travelling nearly 100 kms to and fro . Adventure , natures beauty and nice helpful local people and my bike .. what else you need .

And you thought i was in love with trivandrum because of the beautiful princess of travancore royal family .. :) I havent even seen her ...But trivandrum is a beautiful city .. If you want to really feel kerala culture you should come trivandrum ...

From udumalpet ..... hospitality redefined

Recently i visited Coimbatore on an official trip . And i have gone on countless official trips in india and abroad . Of course in some cities i have met friends , had dinner with them and enjoyed their company . Having used to the comfortable life of a corporate job i am used to comfortable transport , star hotel stays etc . But this time all that came to a standstill .

"Our driver will pick you ". My host was telling me . I politely declined . But no amount of declining helped my case . On the early hours of morning 5 :46 to be precise the driver failed to turn up . It can happen . But what i was not prepared for was the hosts husband itself within 7 minutes coming personally and picking me up . He personally took me for coffee and arranged accomodation for me . Took me for breakfast and for the entire three hours spent quality time talking to me .

Whats the big deal ? Hes your host . Its his/her duty .. you may tell me ... But tell me i am meeting him for the first time and a busy businessman for whom each second is important neednt spend 3 hours for an "aquaintance " .

My troubles had just started . During the day time he arranged a driver for me for standby support inspite of my protests . Any shopping , any visits the driver will take me . Again remember i am not his long lost friend or a close relative . But hospitality is beyond all these things . Is he a rajput :) I looked again ? I have blogged on the legendary rajput hospitality after my jaipur visits . But he , my friends husband is from south india .

Evening is further complicated by my friend and her husband . They insisted that i stay in their lovely apartment and be their guest . I am protesting in malayalam , hindi and tamil . But who is listening ? :) They are asking why i should stay in a hotel when they are there to host me ? I have no answer ..

The icing on the cake is when my friend and her husband came travelling from their town udumalpet to coimbatore travelling and gave a fantastic treat at one of the best hotels at Coimbatore . It was a lovely evening and she made sure that i was at home in her city . She even brought her kid , husband and family friend to greet me . As is a known fact in food the presentation of food and the ambience increases the taste and the food was extra tasty because of the warm hospitality and the relaxed attitude of the hosts .

I dont think words on a blog can put the feeling i had after enjoying their hospitality from the moment i landed . Not that i didnt get hospitality at other places . But as they say "exceeding expectations " is rare . And this case was more unique because she was neither my classmate, best friend or close relative . She was My senior . And I never had this level of hospitality before . And as a keen observer of humans ( read my blogs ) and feedbacks from common friends i have only one explanation ..... Though Rare some people are very nice . And they do express their niceness and hospitality is one way of expressing it .. Thanks Senior from Udumalpet ...( i have only one senior from there :) )

some snippets from indian mythology from Parashurama to krouncha pakshi (bird)

The value system inculcated in indian mythology which is a 10000 year old culture is relevant to even this day . Though i can write pages about it just a few random snippets to stimulate your reading unless you already know .. Do you know the tale of karna and Parashurama . Of course as everything its a beautiful tale but one particular scene lingers in nmy memory . Once the guru of karna , parasurama was peacefully sleeping in his lap (indian mythology considers Guru almost equivalent to God ) . A blood sucking bug bit karna on his thigh but he beared the pain and the bleeding because his guru was sleeping in his lap . But soon the guru woke up when the wetness of blood touched the gurus face . Instead of appreciating karna the guru got so angry because only a kshatriya could bear this much pain and bleeding and remain unflinched . Karna had not revealed that he was a kshatriya as that guru only accepted brahmins as his pupils .

Its a complex issue but one thing stands out in this tale . The gotra virtue or family virtue is demonstrated in actions of a person not words . In modern times we give focus to " person from good family " . But time and again we see only few people who live upto the " good family tag " in their actions . But observation shows people from many old families do indeed show their good family virtues even when they become poor or gets exposed to temptations . As in parasuramas and karnas story the true gotra or family spirit and values is in the blood . Of course karna got cursed by his guru that is another story .

Work or worship is more important ? Is it ok to give more importance to worship when God has told man to work hard ? One tale comes to mind . The sage who had lots of thapassakthi (penance giving power) . Once he got disturbed by the chatter of birds and he got angry and one look the birds got fried and died . Another day the sage went to a family womans house to collect alms . The woman was busy serving her husband food and she saw the sage but made him wait . She served her husband food and then only came to give alms to the sage . The sage was so angry and stared at the woman hard to burn her . But nothing happened . The woman smiled and even told the puzzled sage that she was not the poor bird to get burnt . She was doing her duty to her husband and for her that was her worship or power . Poor sage he got so confused and was even amazed at how she could even guess the bird episode . This also has current day relevance as even in the great religions its told that work is indeed worship. Not the workaholism but doing ur duty is equally or more important than doing rituals . Of course rituals can be done without compromising work but work is never second place ..

The story of King Bimbasara and ajathashatru where the son orders the execution of his father to get his kingdom but was deeply remorseful when next moment he heard his queen delivered a baby boy is more thought provoking . These days especially have seen innumerable nuclear family concentrating more on their children . But as indian mythology shows the cycle never ends when these same parents become old when they get neglected by their children who concentrate only on their offspring ..

Heavy stuff ? These are all from childrens tales of amar chitra katha and our generation read these and their relevance became known as we grew older . Would love to hear from my generation for whom amar chitra katha entertained as well as inculcated a value system . Do children still read these stories ? I donno ...

On sambar and thunder

I stared at the MRI scan . And then again at my friends mother . Though a radiologist i am not there to "report " that scan . But multiple thoughts were going through my mind . Trained for years as a doctor the first thought was the blackness of the MRI image with the whiter areas on one side . Blackness was self explanatory knowing her history only too well as she was bedridden for a long time due to a massive stroke after an accident . But the whiteness near it indicated a new stroke which she had later on . Impressive the scans showing exactly what it was in just a sheet of film . But i was more impressed with the natural force and the human brain which inspite of these terrible insults still retained enough power . She was still bedridden and her speech areas were affected but still she could recognise me , listen to me and talk to me though very few words . MRI image showed massive areas of brain injury but still she or specifically her brain had enough power in it to recover . Of course modern medicine helped tip the recovery in her favour with good care and medicines but still more credit is to be given to the brains and bodies enormous powers for recovery with time .

Then the thoughts of her came from my childhood . She was one of the people who made the sambar my favorite dish and fed me along with her son whenever i visited her home . She was a nice lady and a humble one too . And as life goes on as human beings we should take both the good and the bad . For the first time ,though sad ,i was ok with not being offered the sambar or not even tea at their household .When the woman of the house is in bedridden who will give the food ? . But i was happy that i could visit her and give back in a miniscule way my time .
On the bus journey further i saw a sight i seen for the first time . It was some festival time and the huge crackers and giant poookkuttis (a form of cracker which sends sparkles high up for hundreds of feet ) were doing their full show . It was a giant show of manmade splendour in the form of crackles . But suddenly the sky was crisscrossed by a giant thunder which lit up the entire sky . In its splendor all this manmade splendor was nothing in comparison .

Theres no take home message except this . Inspite of all the latest high technology and our belief that we have arrived in controlling everything we still is nowhere in front of mother nature . That includes both the thunder , the secrets of the human brain and the tsunami . So lets be humble .. Just a random thought . awaiting your comments

The extremes .. people

These days when i hear people generalise including "All people are selfish " i dont partake in adding further comments . For compared to my younger days experience has taught me that people are as different as day and night ..

I remember the first week of my postgraduation . I was literally homeless .. Not that i didnt have the money . But a new city for the first time in my life and not easy to find quick accomodation . Many who have gone out to work or study knows this experience . I was surprised to find suddenly to see people whom i scarcely knew before becoming extremely hospitable . And i was equally surprised to see some people whom i knew for many years being "just friendly " but not helping much . Later after i got used to my independant life away from home assessing personalities became a survival skill . And i realised that the extremely hospitable person was a very nice human being and for very nice human beings duration of friendship is not important .

I have a bad habit .. I talk to maid servants . Actually in addition to being friendly its a way to know people of a different social class better . (Mind you i dont talk to young maids so dont mistake me ) . Even here i find stark differences in personalities . When one of my relatives died recently two maids had entirely different reaction to his death . One who knew him for more than a decade was asking repeatedly about when and why she is not getting her share of rice after his death . While another maid who just knew him for a few weeks took the pains to board a train and visit the grieving family all at her expense .

As practising doctors we know the patient extremes who are thankful even if the patient dies as long as we do the best while those who are so demanding and ungrateful inspite of the best efforts .

Though i never believe in tit for tat in any relationship its always prudent to assess the personality especially the "niceness " factor .. And be nice and hospitable to the nice people and ignore the rest .. Similarly invest in relationships with nice people and less selfish people because our time is limited and we should use it prudently .. Your views please ...

The "introduction " to medical college campus life

During my time as a first year there was no ragging in campus . Not that it was the separation of seniors and first years as was the case years later and the physical ragging of years before our time was the best . We were "introduced " by seniors or rather we were asked to introduce ourselves to the seniors . Of course there were a few conditions . We had to sing a song along with the introduction and that was one of the first places were we could try our singing skills . Of course unlike the stage here it was cumpulsory . How can you refuse when a college bus full of seniors ask you to sing a song . Those who couldnt sing called Yesudas God closed their eyes and sang .

Once i was happy that my friend and me could get a seat in the front of the bus (usually it was packed ) . Here the senior didnt ask us to sing a song . But it was a simple question "Describe first night " .. I still remember i trying my best to prolong the first night so that the bus reached the destination (the medical college trip was around 20 minutes ) without giving out the details . (I also thought why he was asking the details . Didnt he know ? Also how he expected i to know ..As a 17 year old ) .

Along with these stresses :) there was another real problem . From day one the seniors were asking us to remove the moustache . Most of my classmates removed it after a few days but i somehow didnt do it along with my another friend . My seniors were friendly so i was sure they wont harm us but still we were a little scared .. The standoff lasted for more than a week but one day they threatened to bring a shaving blade as i was not complying ( unlikely they would do it retrospectively thinking ) .. The next day i removed my moustache . But only one guy in the bus didnt remove the moustache and he became political leader in our class .. And as runner up i didnt get any consolation prize :(

Since i knew a senior girl who was my neighbour afternoon there was sessions of introduction by her classmates the all girl gang . Compared to guys they were sweeter but still "junior introductions " are never easy . Grilling questions but manageable .

Then there was the medical strike and occasional police arrests for participating in strikes . We were scared for two reasons . If you participate in the strike you may be arrested by police but if you escape the strike you may get caught by seniors . Devil and deep sea . I still remember once sneakily escaping into the college library a safe zone .

I dont know how many of my classmates were underaged married as one session was "marriage ceremony " conducted by seniors as part of introduction . No need of dowry , no parents required and no consent too . They choose random girl and random boy and ask to marry . Unfortunately or fortunately i never got that opportunity ..

When i look back at medical college life I who is against oppression and compulsions enjoyed that period mainly because all my seniors did the introductions in good spirit and all became my friends after that period . And there was never a threat of physical ragging or even emotional abuse . i write this specifically because recently i chanced on a link to my seniors id . Name was ok . But when i double clicked the photo it was a shudder as well as a warm sense of finding a person from the past . Yes he was a senior one of the many who made me "introduce " myself . And the countless other seniors i dedicate this blog to them :)

death of my uncle

It was expected . With hepatic failure with hepatocellular carcinoma multicentric progressing to hepatorenal syndrome (in laymans terms liver failure progressing to both liver and kidney failure ) death was inevitable . And though one of my favourite uncles from childhood i too was prepared . And being an intense believer he too was ready for death .

As i always say these days especially i think about the person how anyone was before death and naturally the feelings occur proportionate to how close you were to the deceased person and equally how he was as a person . For me i still remember him as a person who instilled the scientific temper in me . As a young nerd (me ) i was thrilled by my science classes in school and whenever he visited us we used to discuss what i had learnt . I a student in awe at the physical principles of the universe and the ticking of the biological organisms and he listened intently to me discussing these things with him . Though not a PhD at that time (he got it later ) i from day one saw him as a scientist . His field was agriculture and in later years when my questions grew in intensity he lifted up his hands and told " I am a soil scientist " .. It was not a frustrated person brushing my questions but an honest person who was brutally honest ( i like honest people not drama kings ) . This is another character i liked in him . And a good scientific person should also know his limitations .

Later on this soil scientist went to nigeria and i still remember he travelling miles to post his letters in those days to send his wife letters . But once every few months he wrote to me too and always remembered to send me stamps for my stamp collection (i still have it ... Memories and stamps do remain always ) ..As the years passed he later came back to india not as an NRI with attitude but back again as a soil scientist . Humility is another character i admire .

His daughters got married and he got two son in laws who befitted him as he was a pious and good man . He as well as i was lucky as we could see each other in the days when he was sick but still conscious .

And his funeral was one of the few funerals i attended . I was there when i stared at his face though dead . I dont believe the face of the dead body reflects a person as the religious say but i felt a calmness in that face . I attended the burial too and i personally feel as a celebrity autobiographer reader people can be buried with their most favorite possession just like jimi hedrix got buried with his guitar . In our religion it is not allowed . But as the soil got put over the corpse i couldnt help thinking about how the soil itself was the greatest tribute to the soil scientist whose work life revolved around soil . And the other tribute his good memories .. they remain with us ...

PS : Be good when you are alive because the real tears and good memories are important . And live everyday like you will die in the nth hour especially the over ritualistic religious people and the over materialistic people . For in the end just as life death is also the ultimate truth ..

childhood memories

I am defintely becoming an old man .. (or rather already is :) ) . For why i am reminiscing on childhood again and again . Just some random thoughts .
As a child my knees have scraped the church floor often and i still remember the tranquility of the church studying in a christian school . At the same time i remember the religious chants of muslim priests in my ancestral home and remember the tranquil atmosphere there too . And to make matters even better used to occasionally go to the temple with the childless couple in the neighbourhood at the temple in our housing colony ..I dont know whether it is allowed but children is beyond religion and all the boundaries get drawn when you become an adult .For me that boundary never got drawn

And my childhood began and ended with Amar chitra katha the book which defined my childhood . whatever value system i got was at least partially derived from those books which showed my 5000 years old indian culture. From the good vs evil war of mahabharatha to the numerous stories from harischandra to tales of Buddha the 100 + volumes defined What is good and evil to me .

And the little boy though not a hindu couldnt help but had a deep admiration of the hindu culture which persists to even this day . Of course as an adult he saw that petty politicians cashed in on it without realising the true essence of the culture but for me hinduism was always way beyond all this .

And if you think as in a mammootty movie whether i am a hindu , muslim or christian what can i say about the bible stories read to us by our dad every alternate day . This was in addition to the quran meanings .
Childhood memories and impressions are very important .. Theres more to write just on religion and childhood memories .. Maybe another time .. Im interested in your childhood memories .. share it if you like in the comments section

Good old days

"Da , dont talk like a girl ...the gossiping kind " I hissed . Still he persisted . Any other person would have got the full elephant charge(me of course the charging elephant ) for asking personal questions suddenly crossing the boundaries .

But he never got charged . In fact we talked for a full three hours . He was my classmate from school and this was the "updation process " going on . Catching up after all the years . Being a registered nerd during my school days my friends are all amazed at the change in me discussing topics quite different from physics , chemistry and biology .

But what i am amazed is the taking off from where we left decades back and again meeting just like the school days . In the last few months i met the pilot , the marketing managers , the senior engineers etc . But it felt like just the same as it were when we were school kids minus the mock physical fights , the cricket with young coconut seeds etc . What i am even more amazed is not only we are discussing chera , kiski , vembala etc(nicknames of teachers ) and good ol times but also about the current things . And no its not the typical "man to man " talk of cars and girls :) but about personal things . And the initial hissing by me was when one of them probed a little too deep for my comfort . But to tell the truth after some clarification i was very happy with the probing because though separated by decades of not in touch we were schoolmates . We had spent a significant part of our growing life together when the childhood innocence was gradually replaced by increasing knowledge of the world around .

Though i was a nerd each one of my classmates amazed me for accepting the nerdy me of that time as well as the me of present .
PS: I know gossipping girl is a stereotype and i told him so just to drive down the point dont ask too personal questions . We guys gossip more than any girl , at least me :) )

Barber shop and politics

In barber shops in the countryside three topics are taboo and one of them is politics .. But being a blog though apolitical (dont know if english is correct :) ) i think i can touch on politics today . This election is much looked forward to even by apolitical people like me . Whether you are an optimist or pessimist "the war on corruption " is definitely on the agenda in current election . And the infusion of highly educated people from IIT like Arvind Kejrawal , writers like Sara joseph (Thrissur kerala ) and journalist who interviewed Prabakaran in a new party called Aam Admi party all adds to the intrigue about how the election results might be . Will it be a surprise like the Delhi election ?

If my knowledge is correct Rajiv Gandhis winning was one of the highest majority in any election . But in this election we will have to see how they fare . Of course the corruptions and scams hasnt made an election advantage . But still a stable government has if you define stability by completing the tenure (thats also important ) . The young leader (has a clean image as of now ) but hasnt shown the great leadership demands of the post which is being aimed at . Because even for veterans to become a leader in the largest democracy in the world needs strong leadership skills demonstrated till date . While AAP has a novel ideology as their main point and highly educated candidates , congress is betting on the new leader who is having a clean image .

BJP under Narendra Modi also has promises . But the tones of religion and considering india making great strides in secularism for last many years is a point worth pondering . His leadership skills are definitely proven but the million dollar question is how will he tackle secularism . And if history is any evidence the actions speak better than a thousand words .

Leading india especially now is a big big challenge . Such a heterogenous group of people , economy showing great promise as well as threats and it wouldnt be a big word that the world is looking at india these days . And like a teenager going to adulthood inspite of the challenges India Inc is taking strong stances these days like the Kobagrade diplomatic stance with the US . In all these a strong leadership is the need of the hour .

So coming back to the barber shop notice : I am not discussing politics .. Its your country and think hard and vote . And im pessimistically optimistic (meaning more optimistic :) ) that the country will be one step ahead in fight against corruption and fight against religious fanaticism ...Jai Hind
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the secret of the obstetrician --medical moments

The field of Obstetrician is one field i hold in great awe because they are one of the first doctors involved when you visit the world . Be it the Caeaserean section or the vaginal delivery they are around . During my O and G postings (Obstetrics and Gynaecology postings ) there was one "object " which fascinated me . It was seldom used ( i think saw once only ) but learning about its history i felt it as great as a caeserean section but which looked quite simple in looks . And some more history searching showed it was a "secret " of royal obstetricians .

It was the "forceps ". When the future king of france or Englands life is at stake when he is stuck in the birth canal this simple looking secret was a life saver . It was invented by the Royal obstetricians centuries back . Science unlike art doesnt say "old is gold " . But for me even in those days i felt the forceps especially the ones used for more complicated manouevres in the past had more stories to tell of lives saved when many a foetus from the beggars child to the queens child got stuck in the birth canal.

Times changed the vacuum instrument and Caeserean section made forceps almost extinct except the occasional delivery by outlet forceps . And times also changed with the patient replaced by the consumer . And the poor forceps must be happy that he retired in grace because for the thousands of stuck children it saved there were few complications like deadly bleeds which occured in 4/10000 cases .

And with one of the higher malpractice claims among specialties both in US and india currently i still would like to do time travelling one day to see how that era was where obstetricians were Gods (goddesses ) and forceps was one of the reigning armament in saving lives .

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Male chauvinist lion --dont correct me i know its not lion :)

I recently saw a hunt in animal planet . Many many female lions and juvenile males were trying their best to bring down a hippopotamus . Having seen innumerable hunts i was expecting the hippo would be ripped to pieces though a dangerous prey . In the hunt one of the lioness even had her head injured by hippos bite . The standoff lasted for quite sometime and the hippo escaped with some minor injuries . I was surprised as the lionesses are extremely capable hunters (actually they do the hunting mostly while the lazy male lion relaxes ) . But the documentary narrator mentioned the key point . In some big and dangerous hunts only the large male can finish off the prey as it has the large canine necessary for making the fatal bite .
In most hunts however the male lion is not necessary at all . Actually he is too lazy too . To make matters worse this male chauvinistic fellow eats first after the hunt . He is cruel too as if he takes over a rival lions pride the first thing he does is kills the other lions babies .

He is cruel , mean and lazy . But still he is not just tolerated but a fully integral and respected part of the lion pride . Of course in human soceity the male, even though occasionally (or is it always ) called the MCP , mostly is not as cruel or as mean or as lazy as the male lion . But after interacting with many women and men in real life as well as reading psychology i observe why the male species are still loved inspite of the numerous complaints about them .
Sometime back i interacted with two women in their late forties . After some casual talk i asked them whats the secret of their long married life or specifically they love their men . Both men in their younger days were not good providers (unemployed )It was unforgivableastraditionally men are supposed to be providers or at least equal contributors to family financially . But they both were happy as inspite of all this their husbands made sure they felt a sense of protection . Knowing them and their husbands reasonably well i could understand what they meant . Though the lion is mean and lazy he "protects " the pride and in human species especially nowadays the "feeling" of protection (not the financial one ) is what keeps the human male still wanted even by the single looking for love , the divorced looking again for love and the married (hopefully ) getting from their man .

Coming back again to the Male chauvinistic ... i forgot the rest of the human species its a known fact that the male of the species is backward in the communications department ..(blogging is not counted as communication :) ) But as any happily married female as well as many single women know the communication style of men is different and many express love in their own way which can be understood with a little practice though can be irritating at times :)

Lastly narcissism and narcisstic personality disorder is more common in men . Though you may have encountered one doesnt mean that the majority is personality disordered . (refer statistics : google ) . Of course mean and cruel men do exist and many women after one (or two ) experiences overgeneralise .

This is a long topic and controversial and i have just started . Feel free to comment . This is your blog ...
Lastly lets end on a nice note . Recently i referred the google regarding emu bird which is getting popular in kerala . I was intrigued that in that species the male takes care of the eggs unlike the MCP lion . So next time tell your necessary evil .. at least look at a bird like emu and learn the basics .
---from the greatest MCP :)

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