Becoming an idiot :)

If you felt that i am gradually becoming an idiot and peeped into this blog post you are wrong . I am already an idiot :)  .... The point is for last few days i am hooked to the idiot box and naturally one who is hooked to it  has to be an idiot .  But lets see what the idiot box has to offer you these days .  I am talking of course about the television .

Though a movie buff i had only heard about alfred hitchcock and his short movies or plays or episodes which are airing these days in television is so classy that i think how he could do that more than 50 years back . The innovative style of presenting , the excellent screenplay and the twist all make it a must watch .  Programs like CSI miami has got enough brains behind it that i think whether they are doing real crime scene investigation or not with the realistic forensic scenes and believable courtroom  scenes.  And just last week saw another channel which shows court scenes where Jehovahs witness who receieved blood and sued was played . All very believable and really well taken  .  

And of course my all time favourites the discovery , nat geo and animal planet (where i got my animal instincts :)  )  i still do watch .  And the movies the english ( Rambo . Bruce lee and schwazzenegger included ) and the malayalam ones all pure fiction but has got enough to make me blog about some of them before (check the movie review section ) . 

All in all either i am hibernating after my days work or i am becoming an idiot ... You decide :)  Anyway i am enjoying it  

the seven day itch

Which is the best way to get married ? Go to a marriage function , get noticed and sooner or later if you have the right qualifications ( read a great job , a good family ) and if its a girl pretty without any matrimonial ad you can get married .. Thats one advantage of attending a marriage ceremony .

Let us be honest for many (read other than the immediate family members ) the interest is at least the biriyani or sadhya .  Being a foodie i have no complaints .  

And lastly because we have less avenues of social interaction in groups marriage is one of the greatest avenues to be social and meeting people in large groups ( the indian equivalent of party )   ...

Sometime back   i heard of a 7 day marriage.  What ? I asked .. I have heard the seven year itch the Marilyn Monroe movie but a 7 day marriage ?  With 7 different women ?  Nope its with one woman only . The functions extend to seven days . Theres nothing wrong with that . 

But personally (strictly my personal opinion ) i dont like these pompous marriages (though i have nothing against marriage per se )  .  Just to give a random example the most pompous marriage i ever attended in two different five star hotels long back was the worst divorce in later years . The point is unlike birthdays marriages should be simple because the beauty of it is in its longevity and depth not the pomp and show . 

Maybe my company is bad (Is it ?) but two  of my friends  recently decided that his marriage will have only his parents , her parents and the immediate circle of relatives . And last month my uncle told of a couple who decided to tie the knot after symbolically planting a tree ( environment friendly )  . And recently an MLA who decided to enter wedlock without any ceremony but using the money to construct a house for a blind family ...

Now tell me ..Can we justify pledging the house and entering into big debt for marriage function ?  ....As always to each his own but when in these days we clamour so much for social consciousness , environmental friendliness , love and a lot of big words why dont we make our marriage functions a little smaller...I really admire my two friends who have small function marriage so just wanted to share it .. thats all  ..

bus train and airplane

Having completed more than 100 flights or more in one way its the boredom of using the same mode of transport . Or is it getting fed up of seeing the pretty airhostesses :)  purely by choice i take other transports these days ... the train and the bus .

Flights  have their own charm (airhostesses included )  and the uninterrupted time with your music player or books . In addition modern airports like bangalore and hyderabad are so sophisticated that in some of them there are 10+ high end restaurants , bookshops etc and in the case of hyderabad airport you can even go kart if your flight is delayed . Think about racing in a real go kart within the airport premises while most indian cities dont have a go-kart track .  As a foodie , book reader , tech enthusiast ( the take off still excites me after the 100 th flight )  flights still do have its charm .

But what about trains .  In my 6 years of flying looking around one thing i seriously miss is people .  Just compare the sheer hussle and buzzle of specifically second class compartment of an indian train .  If you want to see people interacting and learn about people nothing beats the train  . In contrast with all due apologies in flights at least in domestic sector we find more the mask like face and the modern day automaton . I agree partly its due to the short duration of flights , partly because we cant run around like in trains but i strongly believe that in flights (even in airports ) this is due to the higher strata of the soceity who dont interact anywhere like the common man in trains ( the great indian middle class )  ..

In my recent journeys to goa etc by trains always it was an experience to watch strangers interacting with each other and it was nice feeling to talk to people of varying cultural backgrounds . Food is nowhere near aircraft standards but the foodie in me took a break after a long while .

Ok , lifes like that you cant have the airport food , interact with great people as in trains and still if you want to see the place properly while travelling whats the choice ?  In aircraft lets face it take off and landing is cool but rest of the time if you look out you see the clouds , in trains you see coconut trees and some rivers .  But if you really want to see the changing landscape the hustle and bustle of cities , the hum of the villages nothing beats long distance buses .  Some say your vertebral discs have to be strong if you travel in kerala roads but inspite of that buses are one of my favourite as it gives you the fast wind on your face and the greatest quality of sleep .  Maybe i like to be rocked in my sleep i love our KSRTC buses ..And though its little more difficult to read in it i manage and more importantly you can see the beautiful kerala landscape changing from town to town .

Airhostess :"Sir ... Veg or Non veg  "  ....
Me  "  Madam , pls dont disturb me i want to sleep or see the nature in a KSRTC bus . "
Airhostess " Pilot , pls drop this person over some KSRTC bus ... "

                                                       I love all modes of transport but i like road transport the best (at least in kerala )  and humbly request the KSRTC to have bus-hostesses for giving tickets and giving us food ( is it asking too much :)  )  .
                                                                     

medical moments 4-- psychological medicine

                                 It was a 15 day posting during my MBBS days that we were posted in the psychological medicine department . I still remember the pretty girl who must be around 17 whom our teacher told to see . She was perfectly normal except for a limping . The 15 days went off in interesting dicussions of the major and minor mental illnesses from schizophrenia to anxiety disorders and on the last day after our quiz and since our teachers were friendly we were in a good mood too . On last day the same doctor who showed us the limping girl asked us to look again back and there she was discharged and walking back from the hospital perfectly . It was a case of hysterical conversion disorder (if i remember correctly )  which no amount of drugs or medicines would have cured otherwise without psychological help .

http://www.thehindu.com/sci-tech/health/policy-and-issues/new-mental-health-bill-bans-electric-shocks-without-anaesthesia-gives-right-to-treatment/article4820430.ece

                                                                   This is good news for this country as till now mental illness is in the backburner with disastrous results . When we talk of mental illness dont imagine the raving schizophrenic in the middle of a psychotic episode . Thats just the tip of the iceberg . Why because your son who is repeatedly having difficulty attempting an exam may have a severe anxiety disorder , the teenage girl who makes a suicide attempt (which the whole world even her parents sometimes ) may have a depressive disorder and these are diseases which can be diagnosed and treated .  In the US where the carefully do research statistics clearly say the incidence of mental illness is 26.2 percent  (dont get shocked ... its by their reputed National Institute of Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml#Intro

And in places like kerala we have three times the suicide rate of US and india has similar rates as US so our incidence should be somewhat similar but is masked in many ways  ..

1. in severe alcoholism and chain smoking  : (strong correlation with mental illness )  . These are more socially acceptable coping skills than getting treated by a mental health professional .  Think about " My dad is a nice man but drinks heavily duer to family problems "  vs " He doesnt drink but is in psychiatric treatment "  ..
2. In cults and demigods :  Everyone has problems but you know some people who are so much into the cults which have no dearth these days . Their "problems " couldnt even be solved by religion and only the cults could give an answer and they pursue the cults worse than any addiction .  Partial reason is cults give a socially acceptable "group therapy " though  a dysfunctional type while going to a psychotherapist for real therapy is considered taboo  ..

3. Did you know that even "Narcissistic disorder " is a mental illness(refer wikipedia and hope you dont look around and find someone like that )   . In US whether he get cured or not he will get divorced and after repeated relationship failures he will enter some treatment . In our country this particular group gets tolerated forever because "for childrens sake " , "what will soceity say " etc etc  ..

                                                          Stigma is one major problem with mental illness and the US is taking major steps to tackle it . And hope our country also follows the west at least in the good things like this .
                                                         

Everest climbing and some little thoughts

                                                  http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/outdoor-activities/climbing/mount-everest1.htm

In our planet humans are called the naked apes . They are one of the most helpless and cant even fight a deer without a weapon . But we rule the planet  .  Of course our intelligence helps but more than that there is one thing which defines us "determination "  . It is this determination which made people who were well to do at home to seek out the limits of endurance braving death and stretching the limits of physical and mental strength .  We all have read in school about the success story of Edmund Hillary and Tensing in climbing everest . But like in everything not only their hardwork and determination but the determination of the pioneers resulted in their success story . Look at the article above , the people who went first died and their body frozen in ice was discovered decades later .  And equally great is the 2001 conquering of everest by a visually challenged person ... This is just an example of fighting against natures odds (avalanches , hypothermia , mountain sickness ) in climbing the highest point on earth  .

                                                               Whenever i hear news stories or silly political talks i think about the countless freedom fighters who fought for our freedom . But especially Bhagat Singh . Because not only he and a handful of comrades fought against the mighty british empire but towards his death he still held onto his beliefs both for freedom as well as his religious position ( he was an atheist )  . He didnt cry and ask for Gods forgiveness at last moment but "like a man "(im being sexist here )  wrote why i am an atheist and faced death .

                                     And lastly whenever we use our everyday gadgets without no appreciation of the countless hours and life spent in their making (i am also guilty of it )  i think we should think more about people like Madam curie who was so into it that they died due to the countless hours put into their job ( discovery of radium  refer  google )  .

                                                 Take home message : Is it climb mount everest and stop discussing petty politics and watching the same on TV?  No  .....When the world is at your fingertips these days read about the innumerable men and women ( i am not being sexist here :)  )  who gave up their lives for giving you the freedom as well as the gadgets .. Hey cmon .. Bhagat Singh helped indias freedom and Madam Curie helped a discovery .  But what about the two people who died in Mount Everest while they could have sipped coffee and had a pleasant death at 70  ?

Those people whether they were successful or not showed the ultimate potential is within us "Determination "  ... And that is a collective genetic heritage and we should tap it when faced with lifes challenges ...Think about it  ....
                                          

lessons from a goan boy

Recently i visited goa in off season . Official trip so i have no choice but enjoy it for what it is  .. No beach even though i was free after 5 pm . But walking in the ex portuguese colony and sitting in the nice chairs facing the church of our lady the famous goan church at Panjim and watching the goans was nice . Ya with less tourists as it was off season it was nice to watch the goan life pass by . Walked up the stairs to the old church took some photographs and then had a stroll by the mandovi river . I am no gambler but one day i will visit the casino to check it out at least for their dinner at Casino Royale (james bond :)  )  . Its in a ship  .. And yes even in off season i was lucky enough to eat some fresh fish goan style . (yummy ).

Now on my return trip as it was a long journey the taxi driver who was a very young goan boy started talking . After the usual pleasantries --goan weather , tourist season , beaches etc etc  he told me about his family  and his boss . Few people love their bosses and he told me he liked his boss who though a big shot was always nice to him , non interfering and treated him very well . Having not read the workplace stress , third party reviews etc  this uneducated boy was clearly telling how simple and effective boss-employee can be without learning human resource management  etc etc  ...

Discussion turned to his family  .  His parents died in an accident and at the age of around 12 the looking after of his sisters fell on his head . And from then on stopping studies he looked after them and got one of them married off . Mr . little thoughts (myself ) started thinking ... This is the land of fenny and he could easily have become an addict in these trying circumstances . Instead he fought and did his best  .

Further talking (it was a looong journey thanks to the traffic  )  he told he had to almost completely cut off his ties with his family members because according to him they were only there when his parents were there and kept their distance after parents death because they were scared they will ask for their help  .  And according to him he didnt need any "fair weather relative "  .

Hmmm..... take home messages like vikram and veethal story  :
1.  There are still good souls who give up their life (and fenny ) for their loved ones
2 .  Good Boss -employee relationship is simple and that can translate into good customer-employee interaction indirectly  (this person was very honest and transparent in his dealings  )
3 .  "Fair weather nosy"  relatives are better avoided a problem group in every family  .
4 .  Visit goa in off season too  ...

Buddha and five star chef

                                               http://www.pardaphash.com/news/exclusive-interview-with-hotel-taj-award-winning-chef-turned-social-worker-narayanan-krishnan/720468.html#.UguvRZL7DuH

Nice article and great motivation for people who believe in the human goodness inspite of the " nothing works in this world " attitude  .  The most boring conversations i hear is about "nothing works ; we cant do anything about it attitude "   and i often wonder why whoever talks about it do at least something about it  .  We dont have to be like the five star chef who left his 6 figure salary for helping the destitute . But often even without giving money there are lot of ways in which we can help fellow beings .  I know people who are very happy and the main reason they are happy is they give more than they receive both in kind words as well as money (whatever they can afford )  .

                                                                                       I have told you about my hobby in reading up the biography of famous people and it was a surprise for me that Sri Buddha advocated the middle path . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_way#Noble_Eightfold_Path

I thought being a monk and having left his pretty wife and kid and kingdom and choosing his ascetic life he advocated a life of "monk like existence "  . But truly being a great indian sage he found true wisdom that advocated neither extremes .

Compared to my childhood i find the soceity more heterogenous these days . Technologically so advanced ( i love it )  but in attitude to the suffering or disadvantaged things have gone for a toss .  Maybe having lived in ancestral home where along with the riches i saw lot of charity being done and these days i find attitudes changing . Not that charity doesnt take place like giving the inflation adjusted "1 rupee " charity to random beggar but giving charity in the right spirit  and even in kind words  .

PS :  Living a life 24/7 for charitable purpose is a personal decision and that is not for all . But living a life of middle path ( not in a buddhist sense as im not a Buddhist Richard Garre is :)  can be lived , I have seen some people doing it and i have seen them as happy .  And lastly altruism has shown positive changes in brain according to latest functional brain MRI research .