Bhagat Singh and marriage ...

I always admired Bhagat Singh .  If you think he used violence to try to get indias freedom and lost his life in the process thats just part of the story  .

He was a young man with real guts and a vision and opinion which we dont find even in 60 year olds . He was in his early 20s and he had clear ideas about so  many things including about religion , society etc .  But this internet historian was shocked when he even had an opinion on marriage .

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/bhagat-singh-had-called-marriage-without-equality-a-legal-form-of-prostitution/425051-3.html

On death row he had wrote a 400 + diary and in it he had wrote on so many things and one of them is about marriage "without equality " being a legal form of prostitution .Coming to think of it wasnt this young man right even in this .Havent you seen marriages where the woman in the family is doing the role of a maid and called a wife and the husband who is chosen for his financial capacity maintains her as the domestic help cum babysitter  .

  When our soceity even to this day condemns the poor prostitutes who sell themselves for surviving ,the double standards are evident when many of marriages are financial transactions in the name of love . Son -in laws who get bought with a huge dowry  ,  daughters who get physically abused and made to work in kitchen , loveless marriages which are sometimes existent because the monetary benefit keeps them going all make you think . And decades after bhagat singhs death in soceity at least in contemporary kerala these things are still existent .

Career satisfaction and marital satisfaction are two things which we cant know from outside as you all will agree . . And as soceity let us promote healthy marriages instead of what bhagat singh in his 20s talked about  ...

PS : With economic freedom of women things are definitely seeing a sea change (i hope ) but still considering the lakhs and crores involved in  modern marriages i still think theres some relevance for the article in ibnlive .

child abuse laws and decreasing marriage age

       http://www.mangalam.com/opinion/98928

         

                                As our soceity is trying to be more civilised we are trying to do our best to protect the rights of women as well as building up a healthy soceity .

Even for fixing marriageable age there are many reasons which are logical . In progressive soceities the marriage age is increasing and the increasing physical and emotional maturity that it brings is well documented  . Even the age of 18 is quite low for an emotionally mature relationship  . Of course to get a fat dowry and use the girl as an object of sexual desire 18 is an appropriate age .  But considering that these same girls are pressured to have a baby in one year as if its a marathon places extra mortality risks as well as a child who is borne into an emotionally immature parent  .

It is in this setup that a group of people (of course of the male sex) are trying to reduce the marriage age.
Logically thinking i dont know to what age they want to reduce the age and for what ?  Firstly its well known that a teenager is in many ways resemble a child and in no way can be mature enough for marriage . For getting their carnal desires satisfied teenage marriage is an excellent method especially as hormones as higher but is it in favour of the girl . Especially when india is trying hard to better the sex ratios , the dowry harassment issues etc etc isnt it barbaric to go back to the dark ages .

Anyway when religion these days is mostly misrepresented for vested interests our only hope is the "parrots " as mentioned in the article rising up and telling the tormentors that their days are over  .  Other option is get married as a child and cook for your modern  knight in shining armour and bear his children from early teenage onwards .

Your worth and pride

                                             

  Today was watching an interview of John Abraham on Mazhavil Manorama channel . Throughout the interview what fascinated me was the way he handled the interview in an very simple manner just like an ordinary person being asked questions . Since he is from bollywood i expected at least a minimum of the "make believe drama " but i could fine none . Even the malayali pride was amiss given his malayali roots .  (his father is from kerala ) . And for skeptics who may still think he is acting simple for the interview i have heard from close sources(when i was in mumbai )  that they are quite simple as a family.
And the icing in the cake was the answer for what he was looking in future spouse....the girl should be simple ..See the interview its very nice

I have met a handful of people who are worth crores in assets , extremely well qualified and very down to earth . I have blogged on some of them one in his 70s another in his early 40s . But the latest addition is a young lady in her 20s .. Extremely well qualified and a heiress to a 200 crore empire (no exaggeration )  i was surprised at how she carried herself . Each time speaking to her i cannot imagine how she can be so down to earth because 20s is not the age when true wisdom makes you understand that pride is a sign of insecurity .

Speaking of pride over time i have observed a few things :

The really wise and really educated people (especially who came up by their merit ) are quite humble . (eg: former President Abdul Kalam )

The quick rich people are usually but not always shows off their pride in material goods

Most of the rest who show pride have some source of deep insecurity . For example they may have crores in assets but may be 10 th standard fail . Not that it matters but this insecurity manifests itself as false pride .

                                                                      And lastly in  major religions its clearly written that pride is a major sin . So let us be humble .....

PS : Driving around in a BMW is not pride but driving in a maruti with attitude is pride :) and i have seen many of the latter types . Hence the blog ...

Immanuel movie and some little thoughts

Some time back many years ago i was sad as a movie buff . Malayalam movies of the 80s had finished off all the film plots that there were no more plots left for future movies . And the "masala "movies were getting so predicatble that i stopped watching malayalam movies . Then came the new age movies like beautiful , 22 female kottayam , diamond necklace etc which made malayalam movie watching a joy again ..

Coming to Immanuel or Emmanuel (some spoilers ahead )the malayalam movie by Lal jose starring Mammootty and Fahad Fasil is another movie which is away from the "masala genre " . The films plot centres around the protogonist an ordinary man named Immanuel played by Mammootty who loses his job in a small time publishing house as the owner had to leave due to mounting debts . But before he left he gives him a reference to a new age insurance firm . So our hero joins there and works hard among a bunch of youngsters . (Mammootty was always classified as a youngster btw:))  But soon he is in frequent ethical delimmas. The  new age tactics of focussing on profits and excel sheets and compromising on well being of customers and ethics gets to him and he is torn between earning his daily bread through hard work and the ruthless methods of insurance world. The plot is not extraordinary and the acting is quite down to earth not only of Mammootty but also fahad fasil . I am surprised at there is no dearth of roles for Fahad Fasil in new age movies depicting narcissists and people who would do anything to rise up for material gains  .

Like diamond necklace this movie is quite realistic and thats the beauty of it .  Some tempo is lacking but can be excused as the movie is more realistic and reality never goes in fast forward .

Lastly hmmm... being an ardent reader of finance magazines for last 3 years ( though poor )  i am always surprised at how even the smartest people are outsmarted by insurance agents . From the telemarketing insurance salesman who picks up the time when we are most engaged in our job and disturbs without asking permission to the extremely well dressed manager who fixes up the appointment and tries to hardsell a policy by playing on our lack of knowledge i often think why certain jobs exist  . Unless you choose Immanuel as your insurance agent .

My rating of  movie 7 /10  

my "american " friend

                                                                 I have been to China and though there were many interesting things one important thing was missing . Facebook . By policy facebook is banned in China . I was ok with it as they were clear about it as freedom of expression is limited by policy in china .

                                                            Four years back my friend ( i have many friends in Europe , the arab world and US) from US called long distance . That call lasted for almost an hour . He was telling me about starting a diagnostic setup in kerala and because he was a little out of date i told him clearly that his idea is good but we are using the latest equipments here at par with USA . Anyway being the ideaman he was he was thrilled about the initial nitty gritty of starting a high end multimodality radiology setup in kerala . I finally asked him whats the actual reason as he has gone with great hopes to USA . He briefly told me that his further appointments in US didnt take place so he thought of why stick around there while great opportunity was back at home .  These long distance calls was there for a few days .  Then after a week or two there was a brief call .

It was ok if he had told me that after a struggle he got the further appointment of his US radiology course or post . But i was shocked that this person turned 180 degrees and was telling all that is wrong in india in radiology . Agreed healthcare including radiology is not perfect in india but 90 percent of what he was telling was plain wrong . Since it was only a few years since he left india i could only surmise that this person has learnt to be a hypocrite after reaching the other side of the earth .

Then there was my senior last year who was telling so much about his golf course membership and some private jetliner in USA that i almost believed it . Only thing is this senior we could never imagine holding a golf club even if Tiger woods was the coach . And he was chatting so much about golf and the other material benefits that i was thinking how a bookworm (he was literally that ) could change into Tiger woods after crossing to USA .

Definitely most of my friends are not like these two examples but something is there in the culture there which emphasises the values especially hypocrisy and materialism .  A casual search of internet itself will reveal USA has more issues with crime , racism , etc etc ... Not that other nations are better but USA is supposed to be the best with the most resources in the world be it technology wise , finance wise and even principle wise ( democracy , fundamental rights etc etc )  .

The point is the whole world looks upto the USA as in technology etc etc it leads (no doubt about that )  . But its sad that the nation which cant even keep its cities reasonably safe from crime ( they call it inner cities) is trying to become the international policeman .....And we all have seen what was the efficiency of the relief work when hurricanes struck in poorer neighbourhoods ..

And lastly though you may not believe it i am not anti-american . For me America represents the great presidents like Lincoln who stood for what they believed in and people like Martin luther King Jr and the american civilians who protested the vietnam war ..Not the war hungry governments who are hypocritical and some of my "friends " ( a minority ) who become hypocrites the moment they land in US shores .

Would appreciate feedback ..

PS : Many of my good friends and one of my best friend is in US ,.. This is not about  you  ...But i had to write this blog sooner or later because of these two incidents and also about the multiple inputs from different sources about USA .

Thank you teacher -- teachers day

Today morning woke up with an sms in which someone had written extensively thanking me in detail for being her teacher . Though not a great follower of pleasantries the genuineness of the message and the sincere appreciation helped me realise once again the unique joys of being in one of the helping professions .
--teaching .

Teaching is not only about teaching a subject .As any good teacher knows its making the student rise upto his full potential . And in that process both the teacher and student grows . Yes how many times we have been prompted to think when the intelligent student asks a curious question prompting us to learn further as a teacher . Looking back i still remember a few teachers who shaped me .

The first one was a nun  when i was 5 years old .  And surprisingly when i remember her i remember the smell of fresh watercolour paint and the flower for though highly academic she taught me drawing and painting . I learnt the lessons of looking at the world around , enjoying individual talents etc at that age .  And she used to smile a lot  ...

Then the teacher who was friendly but strict in my fourth standard and at that age i didnt understand that she was tough to me to make me better .  She was my classteacher and strict though friendly . When i became a teacher i realised her value ..

Then there was my mentor and teacher in postgraduation who went beyond his duties and became a personal friend and mentor .

Each of you will have a few teachers who have made a real difference in your lives .  Cherish them and a select few be a teacher as its one of the few professions where you can see a flower grow and blossom .
And for people like me that satisfaction comes before money (i do get paid too btw:) )

Happy teachers day ..

good old days Onam

                                              From sushi to steak this foodie eats all the food in the world .. But surprisingly one of my favourite food is Sambar the pure vegeterian curry . And of course as in everything its origin is in my childhood ....

In both my maternal and paternal family we made excellent food but once an year (not that we didnt visit otherwise ) we used to get specially invited to our neighbours house in perumbavoor . It was a hindu family and there it was the beautiful pookkalam (made of freshly plucked flowers ) , the muthappan (made of clay ) and my aunts favourite friend and her family smiling with sandalwood paste on their forehead . Of course in this festive occasion the sumptuous meal had the tastiest sambar i have ever tasted in my life . It was not only because my tastebuds were growing at that time ( maybe 7 years ? ) but main reason was the food was given with the greatest love by these friendly neighbour . In those days there was no television to advertise onam ( for getting people to buy expensive dresses or jewellery ) and no ready made onam kit .  Not that these are not ok but nothing beats the smell of fresh flowers, the totally free atmosphere (no mobile calls to attend )  , the interreligious unity .

For once i feel i could go there and have that Onam celebration decades back .... And yes though i love the internet and mobile phone of modern day at least in Onam i do prefer the good old days in everyway  ...

Happy Onam in advance 

Crying father and doctor --- Syria

                                                              Was seeing the footage on tv today of the chemical attack in Syria . A father hugging his two daughters with no visible injury and crying loudly in arabic .  Soon he had to move away as both of the kids were dead . It is always the case where death is more gruesome when the bodies are so lifelike ....victims of chemical attack ..

Then they were showing the footage of a young doctor who was doing relief work and in between gave a brief interview to the reporters . Later he was crying too for just after the attack when his colleagues went into the area of attack some of them died because they didnt know initially that it was a chemical attack .

                                                               Like in everything the gruesome attack raises questions on who did it with the speculations as ever . And the US is planning to attack syria too .  With the largest stockpile of weapons in the world its not surprising of this move from USA. In the channel they were mentioning that US attacked Iraq also in the guise that they had stockpiled chemical weapons .

I dont know whether US intervention will decrease or increase the bloodbath but as a casual observer one thing is clear . US interests in this region is not humanitarian because we seldom hear of US intervention in impoverished african countries which have horrible atrocities in civil wars .  So i think oil , oil pricing etc is a key interest in these interventions .

Typical of developed economies US has lots of internal problems ( healthcare inequality , crime rate etc ) its high time that US intervenes more as a big brother than an international policeman .  With infinite access to diplomacy , the sanctions method , UN is it only by an aggressive military intervention that US can help the west asian region .

Any way in the days to come probably we will see more children dying on television . And again i am thinking aloud can the american public prevent these actions by widespread protests especially since its well known that many of the returning soldiers from these wars like vietnam , iraq etc come back with post traumatic stress disorder which destroys their lives and their families . Also even many people think that Israel (backed by US as always ) is behind chemical attacks .  Anyway the end result is fathers who lose their daughters and doctors who lose their colleagues in preventable tragedies ...

Now you know why i prefer animal planet or discovery channel or the movie channel . Not that i cant watch people dying but i think many are preventable and man is more cruel than all animals .  Even lions which kill the little ones when they take over a new pride pale in comparison because we are more intelligent than them . Or is it ?